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Chefj9 (original poster member #38604) posted at 3:44 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
So the 29th was our anniversary... I had a difficult time picking a card out for SAWH, but I found one that was appropriate for where we are right now. He didn't get me a card. We went to dinner and when I got in the car he handed me a hand written note on a scrap of paper. When I read it initially it was very sweet and touched me. I tucked in my purse, and we went to dinner. Dinner was pleasant and we had a lovely time.
Yesterday, I found the note in my purse and read it again. My heart stopped and I triggered hard core. I remembered in the email exchanges that OW had told me their "symbol" was a heart that he had hand drawn on a home made card for her with a note as well. That she kept it in the back of the picture frame with his picture next to her bed. He also drew a heart on the card he gave me.
I don't know whether he forgot her gave her one like this. I don't know if he's just pulling out whats easy for him (he's an English major and likes to write). I don't know if I should say something or let it go?
My thoughts go to doubts as to why he's with me again. Is this just part of his wayward pattern. Our very first valentines together, we didn't have any money He wrote me a poem promising that I could trust him and that he would never betray me. That was clearly a bold face lie. Why should I believe that these words are any different?
I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth about anything to do with love, emotions or relationships.
Should I tell him how I feel about this card and how it triggered me?
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 4:40 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 7:05 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
I would.
Hate that thought that if it worked for MOW it would work for me. Especially if he's not done that sort of thing before. I think I would ask him why he didn't buy a card and take it from there.
Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boysHaving an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:28 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
A. If he did it from a place of good, and meant to be kind and sweet he deserves to know that it makes you trigger so he can either avoid it in the future, or find a way to reclaim this type of gift and make it specific for you.
B. If he did it because that's his go to, and it's easy, then you have to call him out on it. He needs to know that you expect more. He needs to know that you KNOW that you are worth more than the cheap easy lines he gave his whore.
Either way you have to talk about it.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Chefj9 (original poster member #38604) posted at 11:05 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Tushnurse - that's exactly how I feel. That he used his ability to write to her, and then pit me in the same category when he did the same for me. I deserve better.
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 11:56 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 1:12 AM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
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