SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not really. But, dear husband, I am not like your girlfriend aka T.C., It, or cumdumpster. I am not on call to fuck you at any time you want. Unlike it, who you would call the night before and it would be ready and waiting for you with its legs spread for you at the hotel.

When I am just waking up in the morning, I usually don't wake up horny. I am a slow waker. Playing with me for about 5 minutes whilst I am still sleepy usually doesn't do the trick, either. You had places you needed to be at today, so you wanted a quickie this morning, which I wasn't necessarily opposed to, but just needed some time.

Instead, because I didn't respond in the allotted 5 minutes, you act annoyed that I just didn't have the time for you. You get ready for your day and I can sense you are annoyed. When I say I would have fooled around, you respond "No you weren't interested" and act all hurt and annoyed.

Sheesh! Why do I have to feel like I let you down somehow? Why do I have to be ready at a moments notice? This isn't HB anymore. I am not your cumdumpster. I am a real person. It doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with you. It doesn't mean I don't love you.

Mind you, I don't turn FWH down for sex very often. He turns me down probably more than I turn him down.

Sorry I am not on call to fuck you at a moments notice. Maybe if you made a date for me at a hotel the next day I would be ready and waiting for you with my legs spread, too. (Not!)

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:50 AM, May 4th (Sunday)]

Cumdumpster. That made my day!!

Sorry you had a bad start to your day.

Yup, been there. I'm sorry you had to start the day like this and sorry for all of us that normal little things like this now make us think of how they got butt hurt and decided that some whore would appreciate their efforts more rather than dealing with life like grown-ups.

Before all this, things like he's a morning person and I'm not just seemed like part of the normal differences of two people living together. Now, like you, I'm reminded of how he turned his attention elsewhere. Sucks every day.

Good rant! Hope the day gets better!

I have had this happen too and its bullshit. Like you, we are very regular. He really wants for nothing but the FEW times it happens...jeez!

Then its like they dont get that these women are offering up sex like that hoping to steal him...and that 5 years down the line are going to be doing the exact same thing...not responding fast enough.

Hope your day gets better!

Please do NOT allow his selfish thoughtless behavior make you feel bad. It's not like this is a new relationship and I'm betting he knows you are a slow waker.

If he wanted to get some mornin nookie maybe he should have set his alarm early brought you some coffee and provided you the opportunity to wake up and pee first.

Don't bear guilt over his thoughtless behavior.

You deserve more.

Talk about it later when he isnt feelin rejected I can tell you part of R and my h healing himself has resulted in him going from being a good lover to an outstanding one I don't know if it's just healing or if part of it is maturity but he often puts my needs first to the point of not even needing to cum himself.

This is a chance to grow an better yourselves and your relationship. But it takes that pesky communication to get there.

(((( and strength)))))

Lol guess what, I actually WAS a cumdumpster of a wife. i was featured in playboy magazine, wore all kinds of lingerie for him, I was always ready at his request, never denied him sex at all, let him watch porno and masturbate, tell him how hot he was, and he STILL cheated on me and left our family for a buck toothed barista who knows he's married and has a pregnant wife !!! When our spouses are scumbags, it does not matter how much you give them - they find excuses to want more since all they think about are " me! me! me! take! take! take! more, more, more ! Oh, you have a hole on body? Me want you!"

Ahh sistermilkshake I love reading your posts. You have helped me in so many ways...

I used to call my H calendar boy since he always used to keep track of how many days went in between...I made a comment to him about this the other night after some nice lovemaking and he said ahhh those days are over...

we have not kept track since dday ...

I have no words of wisdom for you but when I feel myself feeling funky about this whole affair crap I just keep saying THAT WAS THAN THIS IS NOW...

sending you hugs

I wish you peace!

(((Sister)))

hopefully SI is not surrogate for you expressing to him some of these feelings.

Oh gosh, SMS, I always enjoy your posts, comments, and insights--thank you for telling it like it is for you.

Ya'd think that your FWH, at 50ish (?), would understand a bit more about how a wife works by now. Sometimes they just don't connect the dots. (ask how I know -- my FWH is in his 60s).

IMHO...it is truly OK not to be a cumdumpster...I support you in that. As with most dumpsters, they stink and are entirely unattractive, especially the day before trash collection.

Keep on, sister...we've all got a right to wake up first, brush our teeth first, whatever...poor baby didn't get his soother..WAH!

Sister, your post really struck a cord with me.

Since we have decided to R, & WH moved back home, I have been trying to do the "pick me dance"-----you know, be the perfect wife, always "ready."

(After all, the Slut was 20 years younger than I & had never had children, "was so 'hot' that all the guys at work wanted to 'do' her, but she picked WH", & was so willing to spread her legs for him.)

I am really exhausted. & you know what, that^^^ is not being true to myself.

Because if WH had an A because I was not "ready" enough at any hour of any day for him (I was working at a stressful profession, taking care of our 4 kids, our house, & going thru menopause---we had our kids late in life),

why didn't he first come to me & talk about it?

I am a human being. I am not perfect. I am in my late 50s. I get very tired sometimes. I am a woman. I need to be wooed first. I need you to talk to me first, so I can feel close to you.

Yep, just like you said, Sister:

So sorry I am Not Like Your Girlfriend

I want to know just who the hell decided that the stereotypical male arousal pattern was the "normal" one and the one we'd use as a measuring stick.

<Grrrrrrrrr>

SisterMilkShake, I understand. I never knew I was in a competition with the biggest *ho* in my life. She is my sister. We look a lot a like except for my scars that made me ugly enough for her.

I didn't realize that every time we had sex that I was competing against ALL OF THEM. I did not know. It was an unfair fight. My hands were tied behind my back with lies. I still gave MY BEST. I LOVED MY WH WITH ALL MY HEART.

Now I dare him. I'm not his minute ho like all the others. He had to step up his game to even get me and now he thinks he is all that???? NOT!!!! Can't deal with my pain and anger, get lost.

My WH worked my head. Let's just call him a con artist of his d*ck and ego instead of his wallet even though my WH's wallet greatly benefited from marrying me (workaholic to hide from my FOO pain). I'm not that easy nor have I EVER BEEN.

There is a reason he married you. You have an integrity that he will never have and wants so bad through you.

I like your kick butt attitude. I am taking notes. It takes more than buying condoms meant for a woman's pleasure.

Ahh Sister, I love your posts. It's amazing isn't it? I remember these situations. If ws turned me down, it may have stung my pride a bit but not enough to throw me into a pouty puss (no pun intended) but omg if I didn't jump into it after getting a stiffy rubbed against my ass at 5 am, he was all butthurt and wounded with the widdle sad puppy look.

SisterMilkshake,

You have every right to feel like that and to say no. That is a terrible way to start the day, and with a little more care and attention, it could have been quite a different story.

How are you feeling today? Are things going better with your WH? Did you tell him how you felt?

I thought being 4 years out from d-day, I wouldn't still instantly be going back to thoughts and feelings about the affair. *sigh* I am definitely on the 5 year "plan", and I am having my doubts about the 5 year plan, too. (10 year plan anyone?)

Thanks all for your thoughtful words, kindness, support and hugs. You are always there for me. I am humbled as usual.

I can tell you part of R and my h healing himself has resulted in him going from being a good lover to an outstanding one

Wow, tushnurse, that is excellent. Do you have like 16 orgasms at a time now? (okay, I will be really embarrassed if you aren't the member who has multiple orgasms)

Talk about it later when he isnt feelin rejected

Definitely, and we did.

I actually WAS a cumdumpster of a wife

Please don't feel that way about yourself, betrayed. You were a GOOD WIFE, that loved to please her husband, not a cumdumpster. However, I can understand that you may feel that he did nothing to deserve you being such a good wife and that is how he took you for granted and didn't show his appreciation of you.

hopefully SI is not surrogate for you expressing to him some of these feelings.

Point taken, Edie. How did you know that I sometimes do that?

How are you feeling today? Are things going better with your WH? Did you tell him how you felt?

Yesterday actually was a wonderful day. Started out bad, but spent the afternoon with a bunch of lovely friends, some of whom I haven't seen in forever. It was fun. MisterSister called me a few times and was warm and loving on the phone. We talked in the evening. I misread what he was upset about, and he did have a point, as did I, though, too. Good thing is we talked. In the "olden" days we both would have just added this to our "List of Resentments" that we had about each other and built our walls higher and higher. No more walls!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 12:52 PM, May 5th (Monday)]

Glad you were able to turn this around, Sister. It's so easy to get stuck in resentments instead of digging in to see what's behind them.

"Cumdumpster." Best name ever.

Glad you were able to reclaim your day, and your evening it sounds like.

You and MrSister have come a long way.

Oh and....

Wow, tushnurse, that is excellent. Do you have like 16 orgasms at a time now? (okay, I will be really embarrassed if you aren't the member who has multiple orgasms)

I don't know about 16, but lets just say I never go unsatisfied. I gave up on counting a Looooonnng time ago.

(((SMS)))