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Angeles85 ( member #42107) posted at 5:37 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Yay a happy post!!
Happy for u Nora 
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 6:37 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Squeeeee! Of course you will keep your head about you, be smart about how you proceed, but isn't having a great first date a very wonderful squee worthy thing?!
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
norabird (original poster member #42092) posted at 7:16 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Thanks everyone 
I think you should send him a text today that says,"you are bacon me crazy."
asurvivor, if there's a second date (fingers crossed) I am totally using this.
norabird (original poster member #42092) posted at 3:59 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
Ok, I ended up emailing him the day after the first date after he sent me an invite to join the organization I met him through (I had signed the sign-up sheet at the time). I wasn't sure if it was too forward, but, that's who I am, so I did it. He didn't respond on Wednesday and Thursday and last night I was literally in tears--over my tendency to get too invested, over my fear of having a fatal attraction to the very wrong kind of person, just a lot of self-criticism and unexpectedly intense feelings over this going nowhere.
And then he emailed this morning.
Clearly I need a lobotomy and a more relaxed attitude and thicker skin!
LearningToRun ( member #31353) posted at 4:03 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcoming-insecurity-in-relationships/
I read this a lot to calm myself down. :) In fact, i probably need a refresher.
Me: BS 49
Him: WH 54
OW - HS GF, reconnect on FB - They are now M
M- 23 years
DD Sept 2010 - he was lying about meeting and deleting all his texts
D-12/13/2010 - 60 days after i called uncle
norabird (original poster member #42092) posted at 4:07 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
LearningtoRun, this is EXACTLY what I needed! Thank you!!!
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 4:57 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
This, for me, was the hardest part of learning how to date again. Letting go of the outcome. Full of fear, triggering and self doubt over a date.
I can't tell you what the turning point was, but when I started to let that go…my dating became much better. I was able to let the people go that shouldn't be in my life because they didn't deserve it.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 7:24 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
I can't tell you how nice it is to know I'm not the only one who does this. Over and over again. I am learning how to let go and let things just "be" and unfold, and I have to practice that over and over and over again.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Red Sox Nation ( member #26358) posted at 9:18 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
Clearly I need a lobotomy and a more relaxed attitude and thicker skin!
You don't. Just enjoy the ride. The relaxed attitude and thicker skin is for if it fails.
Experience, hopefully, will tell you if he's truly right for you if it doesn't fail.
The only negative would be in not overcoming that nagging desire to protect your own ego and reject him before he rejects you. That's what made yesterday and Wednesday so difficult.
When you've learned to separate real needs from ego needs, you're most of the way there.
When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.
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