SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I need tp vent please:

After a long depression phase, I moved into yet another anger phase.

Here I live in my mother's spare bedroom within her tiny town house.

14 years ago, I had put myself through college and worked hard progressing through my career for 11 years. I had put my wife through college, she found a great career and we had our son who is now 11 years old.

We lived in a big beautiful house filled with nice furnature and two new cars. Everything we had was via working hard. I gave my wife everything.

I cooked, cleaned, did yard work, fixed anything, worked on the cars, and had a awsome garage full of tooks and tinker projects me and my son were working. I always gave her attention, never cheated, and never neglected her.

Please read my story in my profile to see what my whore wife did to me and my son's family. To sum up, we were together 14 years and married 6 years. She started her affair via facebook with an old highschool friend in the begining of 2012. I caught her a year into it. After d-day, the thought we were in R. 3 D-days later after 7 months of false R, I moved out, filed for D and 180d her ass. During this, she treated me horribly.

I recently found out that during her affair she also had a threesome with her best girl friend and her married boyfriend that is 26 years older than her.

My wife lives in our big beautiful home. Her lover has his nice house. Her whore girl friend has a house. And the older guy has a giant house. All of them have big garages.

I miss tinkering and building things in my fucking garage. Everyones lives continued as if nothing ever happened, yet im here in a tiny windowless hot spare bedroom with alll my tools in a storage unit.

I fucking hate this life. There is absolutly no justice!!!

I'm really sorry PRNDL. I'm afraid I don't have any answers but would like to say that you've been heard. Completely understand the anger at the injustice of it all though. So sorry for your pain.

Hi, PRNDL

I have been reading posts and not posting. But wanted to respond to yours.

I hear you!! Boy, what a story. I will say this. They all own these homes in Fla. Hopefully karma will take care of them eventually with all the overhead of home ownership, like big insurance, taxes,repair costs, and loss of equity because of home values.

I also own a home and wish I didn't because of these reasons. So, maybe you are really ahead more than you think. I understand the other benefits you miss. The problems tho can be pretty hefty.

And I too live in Fla. south of you!

I still go into the anger phase but I'm not as recent as you or as probably as intense anymore, but it's now a motivator for me.

Hugs today!

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 12:56 PM, May 10th (Saturday)]

You're right, there IS no justice. It makes me furious as well. Betrayers get affection, adoration, affirmation and sometime really hot sex and the family home to boot, and the BS is the one who pays the price for all of it.

I can't help you, but I hear you and I feel that anger and pain right along with you. Here's wishing you some eventual peace, PRNDL.

You have every right to feel so angry. You worked hard for your marriage, your education, and your 'stuff', and now, temporarily I hope, you have lost it all. I can only hope that your selfish, low-morals slutty wife will have to lose that house she's in, as she may not be able to afford it alone. Plus, do you really think that her scumbag BF in the 'giant house' will run over to help your WW when something goes wrong in the house? The courts will recognize that it is half yours. Good luck for a speedy divorce, you deserve it. Maybe you have a friend who would share his garage with you?

I know it sounds materialistic. Its just the point. My son and loved hanging out in the garage. We built a sail powered go cart, a giant carboard robot costume, a small hover craft, we rebuilt mowerer, an old 4 wheeler, and other cool things. I loved working on my truck with him. I my office and I slep in a nice bug bed.

I left her everything. I signed it all over to het. I suffered for a year snd a half in that house. I would stay up looking through the blinds till 3 am waiting for her to cone home.

At least i dont owe her child support. She makes more than me. After the divorce, im debit free. I just cant afford a house on my own.

I never cheated. I never wronged anyone. I habe always been a good man. I have a very noble career.

I dont get it. I have been in therapy for a year and 3 months fighting guilt, depression, anger, loss, self esteem issues, and much more...

What did I do??? Why am I being punished?

I dont get it. I was a good husband, a good father, a good man

You do NOT sound materialistic. You sound like you are grieving the loss of stuff that was yours! Stuff that was important to you. Stuff that represents a life you earned and worked hard for. Stuff that you enjoyed with your son. You did nothing at all wrong.

I'm glad you're in therapy. You can rebuild your life. You have a noble career and decent ethics to go with it. You have to believe in yourself and know how precious it will be when you get where you want to be again. And that rebuilt person will be attractive to others.

You can still be a good father, you'll just have to find different things to do with him. And you are still a good man, and I'll repeat: none of the low-life stuff she did was your fault, and you never deserved to suffer the consequences of her disgusting and degrading choices. And, even though she has a higher paying job than yours, I still hope she finds that she can't swing the big place by herself. Because you're right, in the end, it isn't right at all for her life to just go on with no consequences.

PRNDL

I can't understand why you gave her EVERYTHING? Why sign over EVERYTHING? Why didn't (isn't) your lawyer advising you NOT to do that? Is it to late to change that? Maybe if you had something else to give you a reason to fight - for what IS rightfully yours - you can use that anger to climb out of the dumps.

STOP BEING NICE and just COMPLAINING. You have to get MAD - and then start instituting some changes. Work on your peace of mind - and get YOUR fair share. Maybe that's why you are in turmoil.

Can Not Believe

I never cheated. I never wronged anyone. I habe always been a good man. I have a very noble career.

I dont get it. I have been in therapy for a year and 3 months fighting guilt, depression, anger, loss, self esteem issues, and much more...

What did I do??? Why am I being punished?

I dont get it. I was a good husband, a good father, a good man

Your pain is radiating off the page.

I am so sorry this happened to you. You have been heard, and this too shall pass.

You're not at all materialistic. We all have our physical happy places and she took away yours. You worked hard, had earned so much and the person who was supposed to have your back spread her shit all over it.

I can't understand why you gave her EVERYTHING?

Probably to get out of the cesspool she turned his home and life into. Cutting it all out is sometimes the only way to deal with a toxic person who turns everything into shit where they go.

PRNDL,

You didn't ask for counsel or advice, but I want to say this vent sounds like progress. Keep it up.

It's certainly a terrible thing to have to start over, but remember, you made it once, so you can make it again.

And I agree with Can Not Believe.

Time to hit her where it hurts. Surely people who participate in threesomes are not fit to be around children.

I left everything behind because that house was the biggest anxiety and panic trigger for me. The day I left, I took my tools and clothes. Two weeks after I left, I was off the meds that were peescribed to me due to 7 months of false R, LIMBO, three more D-days, and horrible treatment and comments.

I cant even see pictures of that house without triggering. I suffered too much there.

My lawyer pleaded for me to fight for the house. I made the choice to start fresh. She gets the house. She gets the debit.

I have nothing, but owe nothing.

I just hate them all living their lives and I paid dearly for it.

My story has a lot of parallels with yours, and I totally get how you feel. Feel free to embrace the anger for a while. It helps when you're feeling weak.

I also hate how The Princess gets to move on to her next victim so quickly, while I'm suffering. But the important thing is that you're working on you. She isn't working on shit. She will continue to do stupid shit, while you will rebuild your life.

PRNDL: You asked why? Brother I am not sure we will ever get a good answer to these type of questions. I too did everything for my WW. I wonder if I enabled her so much that she forgot what real life was like.

Stay strong the pain will pass and you will be restored.

Thank you all

Gosh Prindl, I'm mad for you. It's not fair, its utter bullshit!!

Feel the anger, than start anew. Your a hard working smart guy, you can rebuild your life. I know.its hard not to be bitter, damn hard. I hope you have your own place soon where you and your son can make new memories. Sending you strength and hope for a bright future.

Hey, it will get better. I left my dream house because I knew I couldn't afford it.

I ended up in my mom's house too. My wife also made more money. There is a bright side though, I had almost no bills and no stress about money. Living with my mom also let me have a night out here and there after I put the kids to bed.

Damn, I know this sucks, but try to enjoy what you do have. You might end up doing what you want around town while she buries herself in debt and bills.

I ended up with a nicer woman in a nicer house. Life can surprise you. Didn't help for me to hear when I was crying all day like a little girl, but keep on going and things will get better.

[This message edited by wonderpets at 4:37 AM, May 11th (Sunday)]

Wow. Everything you are saying is exactly how I am feeling right now also. I am a female BS, but my WS ran up my credit card ($12K) and bought a new car under my credit and name (he said his credit got screwed up when his last gf embezzled from him. Liar).

Anyway, long story short, he moved (wait....yes here it goes, to FLORIDA) to get a better job for us while I stayed back in a tiny dump that he talked me into buying so he could have hunting land trying to clean it up and get it ready for sale. While he was in FL, he ran my charge card up having parties, buying booze, and even put his UTILITIES for his new condo on the beach. He got fired from the new job and quit paying on the bills leaving me with $15K in bills that I now have collection agencies calling me 12 times per day on.

I am slowly coming out of my depression and hitting the anger stage. I worked and worked my entire life and did without so I could be financially comfortable at this age. All gone. I have to go back to school and find a good paying job to climb out of this debt. The anger I have is better thought of as blind rage and I'm glad right now he is miles away.

The anger, though, is hurting me. and my health. and my outlook and enjoyment of life. Not him. He has no conscience, so it sure isn't bothering him. And I am also starting to realize the anger is more directed at me. There are tons of psychopaths running around. I happened to marry one. My mistake. You can't get mad at a shark when it kills and eats its victim. That is what they do. I happened to marry a shark. So my anger is that I missed the signs or ignored them, that I trusted him, that I signed things over because he was supposed to be a good guy (he was a retired police chief.)

I think I will be able to get back to enjoying life when I can forgive myself. I don't have to forgive him. He will never change. He will always be a shark. It's me I need to forgive, so I can move on and have quality in this life again.

((((PRNDL)))) Thanks for the vent. I've been wanting to vent but didn't know how to say it. You vented for me.

I left everything behind because that house was the biggest anxiety and panic trigger for me.

I made the choice to start fresh.

...and in those two sentences, you have summed it up quite nicely.

Good choice that you made, IMO.

No anxiety + no living hell = glass 3/4 full. Focus there. Start refilling the empty 1/4. Strength to you. I'm glad you're away from her.