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beingmiranda (original poster member #32519) posted at 4:57 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
Earlier this week, I read:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=530959&HL=32519
To which I almost peed my pants over the post and recorded the word douchecanoe for future reference. -- Thank you caregiver9000!!
I am selling my home. New husband and I are consolidating everything and being that I am in the home I purchased with my ex, it was a pretty easy decision. We are all moving into his house. It's about 600 sq ft bigger, on a bigger lot and the bonus is the school system is way better! Win. Win. Win.
Anyhow.. I've had to painstakingly be showing my home to all potential buyers. Got one guy who is really interested - young guy about 25 who is doing this on his own. Hoping to propose to girlfriend and have all his ducks in a row. He's been here 4 times. Last night he called and asked if he could come by again (just buy the freaking house already!) with his uncle who wants to see it and make sure it works. They all show up and it's the know-it-all uncle. You know the type. He's being an ass the entire time and I keep shutting his idiotic requests down. No, I won't be finishing the basement to your specifications. 
In the end, the young guy tells me he's extremely interested and would be in touch with the realtor.
They all leave. I called the realtor to rehash and say "How about that Uncle Douchecanoe?! Talk about an ass!" yada yada yada
This morning I get a call from realtor. He wants to tell me that young guy would like to place an offer on the house. (YEAH!) But he's not happy with realtor referring to his uncle as Uncle Douchecanoe. uhmmmm???? Turns out realtor assumed Douchecanoe was his first name and was referring to him in such a manner! 
OH. MY. GAWD. I had to explain it to him. Very slowly.
But I'm still getting the offer. 
Me: now 41
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid now 40 with biological clock ticking, desparate for a baby.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 5:07 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
That is the FUNNIEST thing ever!!!!
I'm glad the guy is making an offer despite the "Douchecanoe"!!!
Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 5:12 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
Bwahahahaha
Congrats on the offer.
My SO calls his sister's xWH the douchecanoe; he's going to love this!
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:23 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 5:44 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
dontknowwhyme ( member #21587) posted at 5:58 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 6:15 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
one2ndchance ( member #14759) posted at 6:17 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
I was taking a sip of tea when I read this and almost spit it out all over my laptop. Thanks for sharing this...I needed the laugh.
Married 26 years
DDay #1 2/2002
DDay #2 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/9/2014
It's hard to see the road ahead if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 6:47 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
Literally lol.thank you
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 7:01 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
kg201 ( member #40173) posted at 7:59 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
The young guy must have been laughing about it as well. He wouldn't have put in an offer if he was truly offended.
Too funny.
Me: BH, 40
Her: Ms. Daisy
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, living together
Dday: 7/28/13
Ds17, DS12, DD12
Divorced! 2/24/2015
Apology. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 8:15 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Forged1 ( member #43418) posted at 8:31 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
Simply priceless. You can't make up stuff like that.
Me: Former BH
Divorced Q2 2015
==================================
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.
Do no harm. But take no shit.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 11:09 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014
Realtor Not Very Bright, says Ogg!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 12:05 AM on Saturday, May 17th, 2014
Oh shut the front door! This is amazingly funny! Haha!
Yeay on the offer!
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
beingmiranda (original poster member #32519) posted at 2:15 AM on Saturday, May 17th, 2014
Well... To be perfectly fair to the realtor, this is a large family who is first generation to the U.S. They all have names not typical to Americans. Young guy included. So it really was plausible that realtor just assumed that to be his name. But young guy knew exactly what the joke was about. LOL
Me: now 41
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid now 40 with biological clock ticking, desparate for a baby.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:59 AM on Saturday, May 17th, 2014
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
yewtree ( member #16671) posted at 6:50 AM on Saturday, May 17th, 2014
Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 - No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 2:51 PM on Saturday, May 17th, 2014
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
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