SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was divorced at 48. Am now 54 and very happily single. I realize in all likelihood I will be alone until my death.

At first, it bothered me terribly, and I dated out of desperation to fill that hole......... REALLY...BAD....IDEA

Kind of like putting krill in the water because all the sharks show up. LOL

I figure life throws curve balls and my job is to accept the uncontrollable with peace and joy.

I could also fight it like a fish on a hook but that makes me tired, miserable, and cranky and I miss the joy of the present moment.

So I choose to just be. It is what it is and I am happier then I ever was when I had that tumor attached to me...I mean FT.

shiloe, I thought that I was saying the "so in love, blissfully happy, DID get married and still newlywed thing in my post!

Turns out that my new husband and I are better matched than I was with my late husband (who cheated).

And I'm not only over 50, I was 64 when this new romance began to flower.

hit-by-a-train

Yes, I did see that you posted that.

I did not say all, I said most.

So from all the replies to this thread, most of the older women have not found "love" after the divorce

I was 50 when my marriage ended six years ago. My new beginning has been primarily about surviving the financial devastation (and emotional) brought on by my wayward ex and not long after, being diagnosed with a serious chronic and incurable health problem that I have had to manage very carefully. It is my opinion that the devastation my ex created in my life led to the health problem.

I'm very happy to say I am in a very good place. I've recovered financially and emotionally. I love my home, my family, my friends and my pets. I feel a sense of peace and contentment. I never had that during my marriage, unfortunately. I'm also happy to say that I have been able to manage my health condition quite well.

If I happened to meet the right guy, who was willing to take it slow and who is self-supporting and who is agreeable to no co-mingling of money, perhaps then I might consider a serious relationship. But only then. If that doesn't happen, I am fine with it. My life is good!

Shiloe,

I think when you wrote:

It's not really what they want

it really made some wonder because, for many, that is PRECISELY what they want. They are not "settling" or "resigned" to it, it is simply what they want out of life and are not seeking to change it.

I will be 50 within months, and I don't know what I want, really. That is what makes the journey interesting, and I won't be disappointed with the outcome. I have no desire to remarry, ever, and I can easily argue that not having someone in my life is precisely what I want and would be content. However, I am not shutting the door on companionship either, if I end up going down that path. I think what most are saying is that happiness is where you find it, by yourself or with someone else. Everyone is different and you cannot compare your expectations with what others have experienced. There are plenty of examples of "happily ever after" with a new love after 50, but there are just as many examples of those that crave the independence of not being in another relationship. I really don't think age has anything to do with it.

Just my two cents.

Phoenix1:

Picture me standing up in my seat and applauding and shouting "Bravo!!! Well said! Bravo!!"

I guess from the lack of responses saying something along the lines of: Found the love of my life after divorce, so in love, we are happy together, talking marriage, etc

I was divorced at 45(I am now 54) from a 20+ year marriage, me my now SO soon after. It was an easy divorce, no animosity so no big healing issues so I was ready to see what life held - alone or coupled.

He was not what I wanted at first but there was "something" FF 1 year later, we went solo. It has been wonderful, well except the obvious. I can say yes he is actually the love of my life. We fit together in enough ways to match and bring enough differences to keep it intersting & fun.

Marriage is in the future but no rush, we have some older parental issues that are more in the forefront.

But yes - Happy, & now I can say I truly have a love like I never had before.

Let me start by saying that I was 43 when my D was final. I was a total mess after 24 years in what I thought was a good marriage. I dated some - got into a relationship too soon that was not right for me - took my sweet time ending it.

Now I'm 53. To answer your questions:

Did you end up alone? No - but I am prepared for that eventuality - women tend to outlive men, so I would say most women better prepare to be alone (without a man) at the end of their lives.

Meet a good man you really like and are attracted to and he feels the same way about you? Yes six years after my D was final.

Did you just decide to settle on some guy because, let face it, not much to pick from at this stage of the game. Hell NO! I am way too fabulous to settle for anything. And I have no fear of being alone, so no need to settle.

Do you feel that only much older men were interested in you as a future care-taker? My current SO is 13 years older than me. He treats me like gold - he is truly the best man I have ever known. He hates that I might have to care for him some day, but I went into this with my eyes wide open. To care for someone you love is not a sacrifice.

Do you think you will find someone and get remarried in the future? Marriage is not a goal of mine. But I never say never.

Or just have someone to hang-out with? I have plenty of girlfriends (married and single) to hang out with.

What is your opinion on the dating market for women over 50? There are good men to be found in every age category. Is it easy to find them? Obviously not or it wouldn't have taken me 6 years to find my SO. But I'm really picky!