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Bridal shower

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 TheRealDeal (original poster member #39560) posted at 3:30 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

At age 45 perhaps I'm behind the times. sigh. I received a bridal shower invitation for mid-20 year old

It was pretty typical info included in the envelope...date, time, place, rsvp, etc, until I got to the card talking about the Lingerie Wishing Well

In addition to the suggested items they included her bra-size and her panty size. It went on to mention their honeymoon-trip registry as well as the stores they are registered at. Okay, I've heard of honeymoon registry; while not my cup of tea I understand why something like that would be done.

But Lingerie Wishing Well? That was a new one for me. I know it's a bridal shower. I get the concept. It'll be a fun time for her. But I certainly never expected to know her bra or panty size!

I haven't been invited to a bridal shower in many,many years so maybe it's just me, but it seemed bizarre for someone to freely advertise a persons bra and panty size?

And no, this isn't a 'close friend' of mine, just one of those obligatory invitations that get sent, even those that don't know you very well. Guess I know a bit more about her now than ever anticipated

I don't think of myself of a prude. But geez, really? When did it become "ok" to publish someone else's bra size in a bridal shower invitation. I'd never dream of doing that.

I'll be the fuddy-duddy person who buys a practical gift from the store-registry and ships it off to them but I'm curious what you think. How far behind the times am I?

Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2013   ·   location: Northeast
id 6826185
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 5:22 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

Gently, hon, I think you are behind the times. It sounds like this is all in good fun, but it's obviously not your cup of tea. If you can't deal with it, but still plan to attend,why not give her a Victoria's Secret gift card?

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6826284
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 5:25 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

This is pretty "normal" now.

Not something I would want for myself, but I've seen a few among peers who've remarried and among the kids of friends who are getting hitched.

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6826286
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 TheRealDeal (original poster member #39560) posted at 11:38 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

thanks for the replies, I didn't realize it's common these days.

I had a feeling it was me just behind the times and knew SI peeps would let me know!

Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2013   ·   location: Northeast
id 6826405
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Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 12:58 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

But Lingerie Wishing Well? That was a new one for me. I know it's a bridal shower. I get the concept. It'll be a fun time for her. But I certainly never expected to know her bra or panty size!

My dd did something like this - but it was at her bachelorette party, not her shower. I think it would have been a little uncomfortable for the grandmas that were at the shower to have her pulling thongs & g-strings out of a wishing well.

Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2007   ·   location: WNY
id 6826538
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 6:22 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

Um, no.

I am 35 and think this is too much. I would have no issue with something like this if it were a small bridal shower for her BFFS, or a bachelorette party. But these days it seems like its the norm to send out a bridal shower invite to every woman on your wedding invite list.

No. Great Aunt Ida and my boss' wife do not need to be buying me lingerie.

I am old school, though. I was recently invited to a shower that said "Fee Shower", because the bride had lived with the groom for years and they don't need homewares, and she has enough lingerie. They want money only to help pay for the wedding.

I did not attend, and did not send a gift (really, a check)

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 6827008
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Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:24 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6827011
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Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 6:59 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

Um, no.

I am 35 and think this is too much. I would have no issue with something like this if it were a small bridal shower for her BFFS, or a bachelorette party. But these days it seems like its the norm to send out a bridal shower invite to every woman on your wedding invite list.

No. Great Aunt Ida and my boss' wife do not need to be buying me lingerie

Same thoughts. I'm 30 and would be mortified if something like this was distributed without considering the recipients. Of course I'm a people please so when I plan events I try to be accommodating rather than just doing things as I wish. Maybe I have it all backwards.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

posts: 3640   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2011   ·   location: The Valley of the Sun
id 6827068
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 10:22 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

Yikes. I could see this as part of the bachelorette party, but definitely not part of the shower. I just had my bridal shower a couple of weeks ago. I definitely would not have been wanting to pull out panties and bras in front of everyone!!!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5658   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 6827321
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musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 10:32 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

I'm 32 and have plenty of friends who had lingerie showers. The ONLY gifts anyone brought or sent were lingerie. The regular registry gifts were brought to the wedding or a separate bridal shower. Bra/panty size were always included on the lingerie shower invites. Personally, I'd never want one, but it isn't unusual to me.

posts: 1764   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2013
id 6827333
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miadianna ( member #10516) posted at 11:07 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014

I thought lingerie showers or parties were dumb when I was 24 and getting married and I still think so. I had no interest in having one and most of the things people bought me I never wore. It's awkward for so many of the people attending. I wouldn't want one or go to one. My daughter just got invited to a bachelorette party and they are having a karaoke party instead of the usual. No strippers, no lingerie, nothing like that.

Me: BS 60Son: 34years oldDaughter: 32 years old Divorced 4/10/08XH passed away 6/24/16

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2006
id 6827385
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heme ( member #40684) posted at 1:58 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014

I have never heard of this honestly and Ive been invited to 10 bridal showers in the last 3 years.. Maybe my friends/family members are all prudes or something but I couldn't imagine sending someones bra or panty size in an invite..

I might just be a prude though. I got embarrassed when I realized I didn't delete the nursing bras off of my baby registry and my WH's family and all our friends saw my bra size. I think I blushed 20 shades of red.

BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.

posts: 205   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2013
id 6827600
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