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Helen of Troy (original poster member #26419) posted at 9:39 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
T/J from the other thread.
Have you ever heard of the reverse problem? a guy (who does not take Viagra, or any meds etc.) who gets very aroused, fully erect but cannot ejaculate during intercourse or by oral? only by own hand manually. Hasn't had many sexual partners, so not mr smooth type acting but most likely looked at porn/masturbated while single.
miadianna ( member #10516) posted at 9:40 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
Yes. If you want to discuss you can PM me, because I'm not sure who is reading my posts on here now.
I've read it's common with men with sexual addiction problems, guilt, or who masturbate so much that they can't ejaculate with a woman.
[This message edited by miadianna at 3:43 PM, June 6th (Friday)]
Me: BS 60Son: 34years oldDaughter: 32 years old Divorced 4/10/08XH passed away 6/24/16
angerisme ( member #37672) posted at 9:52 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
Yes there is such a problem.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 12:42 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Yes... this was XSO at times. I can't say for sure what his issue was but he was pretty into porn. I have a feeling that had a lot to do with it.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
carnelian ( member #24824) posted at 12:45 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I've read it's common with men with sexual addiction problems, guilt, or who masturbate so much that they can't ejaculate with a woman.
Totally this.
What are you going to do when he leaves you?
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 1:24 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Yes, it's called delayed ejaculation. It can be a result of people who are SA, but it is also just a common form of sexual dysfunction. It can be very frustrating. The best way to handle it is to figure out what works - perhaps having him manually stimulate himself until he is "there" and then incorporating you into it.
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
SoHappyNow ( member #8923) posted at 1:35 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Sometimes, a big dose of patience will go a long way. I learned our first night together about his ED.....he had been on the bus for 11 years. He really wants to penetrate me and we tried about everything - up to and including shots into his penis. Only a few times have we had intercourse. Howsome-evah....he really wants to give me pleasure and has figured out several ways to accomplish that, as have I with him. We are both happy and compatible in bed. Give it a little time.
In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14
notmeanymore ( member #9772) posted at 2:22 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
My last BF had this issue. I'd never heard of it before until him. It could be frustrating at times since I could never "succeed" but I have a difficult time orgasming too (at least from a partner alone) so I think I could be more sympathetic to the issue
"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers
9.10.11 ( member #36336) posted at 3:55 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
BTDT. Many different things could be the problem.
I take an ED drug to get me like I was in HS, without it I'm "up" but not "UP!".
My situation is two problems. I don't want more kids and that REALLY plays on my mind during sex. I need to get cut asap. My other problem is opposite of yours, my SO is a "one and done" and she finishes early.
Might also be that it has been nearly 20 yrs since I had been with anyone but my wife. At first it felt like I was cheating.
Could also be that I drink beer, not to the point of "whiskey dick"...but I'm sure it has limited me.
Who says he has to finish? I know I don't complain, I may try to get her to keep going but I'm not going to force it. I'm happy just being with her.
I'm also one that doesn't "go it alone". I am in my 40's and can see a drop in sex drive. Not to the point that I'd ever turn it down though. lol.
Long story short, it's mental and could be many things.
Just a guys POV.
doggiediva ( member #33806) posted at 4:25 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
9.10.11
I like your point of view in your post..I admire people who have realistic expectations and are grateful for what they have..
During the latter years of my marriage(we are separated now) my WH had delayed ejaculation..
Sex with him has killed me for having sex with anybody else for the rest of my life, lol..He was very very needy and had a self entitled attitude as big as Texas..
Sex wasn't over until he had finished and finished with fireworks...If I didn't have any more energy in me to keep going and he wasn't finished, my life was made unpleasant by his pouting, shitty attitude for the rest of the day, for several days.. It was his attitude that pushed me away, not his problem..I was deemed sexually inadequate, frigid by WH because I couldn't bounce off of the chandeliers or last all day and night..
Nobody is perfect, lol...With GOOD attitudes of both partners there can be a creativity that makes sex physically and emotionally pleasurable for both..
[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:36 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
63 years young..
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 1:54 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2014
Anti-depressants can also cause this problem, so it happened for a while when I was with The Princess. I was always "there for her" first, and then would "help myself out" while she kissed me and/or paid attention to the rest of my body, so she was still very involved in the process. We both enjoyed this.
I swear, I sometimes can't believe the things I reveal on here.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
SoHappyNow ( member #8923) posted at 7:06 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2014
Pass, I know what you mean! I share WAY TMI, myself!
In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14
dontknowwhyme ( member #21587) posted at 8:07 PM on Monday, June 9th, 2014
BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.
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