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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 2:06 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

I had to read this several times to make sure I didn't just have something crazy in my eyes.

I'm tempted to say DTMFA here. He sounds like such an asshole.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6864296
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brokeninfl ( member #21896) posted at 2:19 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

This makes me so mad. No. Just No. This isn't your fault. Period. You shouldn't have to "win" him back. BS! This didn't happen because you didn't have sex enough.

I am fuming.

"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 39 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.

posts: 1074   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008
id 6864314
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

My response to him would have to be...

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6864324
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 2:57 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

^^^^^^^^^^ x1000000000000000000000000000000000!!!

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6864371
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RyeBread ( member #37437) posted at 3:42 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

Wow, that is some delusional thinking right there. So I am guessing he thinks that him not cheating again is all he has to do? Sounds like he and my WW have been hanging out together. She essentially said the same thing (among many other demands) after her A. Maybe just to fuck with him you need to tell him you want to go practice on a few other men for a while... just to make sure you have it all down before you want to try it with him again. Wouldn't want to see him dissatisfied now would we? -sarc

[This message edited by RyeBread at 9:44 AM, July 8th (Tuesday)]

Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

posts: 1058   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6864448
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DefiledRage ( member #39292) posted at 7:59 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

1. Whities tighties or color?

Color

2. Do you get turned off/on/neutral if the womenz showers before sex?

sex after shower....good, you both smell good, use shower as foreplay, better for entire body kissing sex.

sex before shower....good, your both sweaty and sticky, get down to business with some fricton.

In summary, either way....sex....good!

3. If your woman asks you to go to the store with a list, do you buy what is ONLY on the list or do you buy other things, too, because you are in there and the food is going to be consumed by you, too?

What am I 3 years old? (don't answer that )I'm buying my own shit too!

4.Do you SEE dust and pretend you don't??

Don't see it until it requires the vacuum. Not there if it's still in duster range.

5. Do you understand that PMS is NOT on our bucket list and gets worse with age WITHOUT our consent?

I've been conditioned to respond with a No Comment

Imissmyhusb

Your husband is wrong in so many ways I don't even know where to start. I'll just say this, it's him who should be jumping through hoops to get you back. If you tell him no sex under circumstances for 1 year, his immediate response should be "yes honey, whatever it takes honey, I love you honey, I'm sorry honey."

Granted withholding sex isn't healthy and would only increase the distance between you two. But hopefully you get my drift. Having him state thats he's waiting around to see if your going to give it up enough is juvenile and a slap in the face. Please don't put up with that, and don't let him blame-shift things onto you.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 2:00 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]

M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."

posts: 745   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2013
id 6864893
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Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 9:28 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

He says i take thgs out of context to make myself look like the poor victim, and him the crazy one.

Hmmmmm...this WH projects much on to you.

The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.

-Soundgarden

posts: 2432   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2014   ·   location: Southwest
id 6865009
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Tickingtock ( member #41411) posted at 11:07 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

I have a question. I tend to dress scantily when I'm at home, either alone or with DH. I tend to wear nighties, or one of his shirts and lace panties or booty shorts (I swear there's a point to this TMI). But I wonder if it's somewhat counter intuitive to dress sexy all the time.

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).

Me: 31, xBSO, Now happily married

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2013   ·   location: West Coast, USA
id 6865159
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DefiledRage ( member #39292) posted at 11:55 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

one of his shirts

seriously, talk to my ww please!

But to answer your question. Wear whats comfortable. Unless its a walmart screenprint t-shirt of unicorns with matching fuzzy pants.

Someday I promise I WILL burn them. Did I say that out loud?

You being comfortable and confident is more of a turn on than anything Victoria has in her closet.

Also is it even possible for men to become desensitized? I'm not sure it is....

M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."

posts: 745   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2013
id 6865201
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h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 12:21 AM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

1. Whities tighties or color?

Colored boxers.

2. Do you get turned off/on/neutral if the womenz showers before sex?

Sex is good. Shower or not. I suppose that would be a neutral.

3. If your woman asks you to go to the store with a list, do you buy what is ONLY on the list or do you buy other things, too, because you are in there and the food is going to be consumed by you, too?

Depends on how much of a hurry I'm in. I'll probably get something for myself.

4.Do you SEE dust and pretend you don't??

No.

5. Do you understand that PMS is NOT on our bucket list and gets worse with age WITHOUT our consent?

I do understand that but deep down inside, I have always felt that it isn't a good enough reason to treat someone who doesn't deserve it like shit. I imagine it sucks but doesn't take away your ability to function as an adult.

What is with spitting a lugey right on the sidewalk/parking lot/ in public??

Swallowing it is gross.

Just wondering if you like your partner to talk or make noise during the act? I always wondered if it was a turn on for men?

I like communication. I don't like waking up the neighbors.

Have any of u been so lucky as to have never had to work for a womans affection/sex?

I've never been the sort of guy who women flock to if that's the question.

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

Sounds an awful lot like blame shifting to me. Maybe you should tell him to go fuck himself.

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

I don't think I could ever get tired of that.

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see?

Nope!

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 6865227
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 2:26 AM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

@Tickingtock

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

Desensitizing? I don't thank that could ever possibly get old or languish me in any way. I can only imagine, but I would imagine that the most recent day would be as sexy as the first day.

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).

First, who are you dressing for? I'm guessing for yourself to make yourself feel good but also playing an artist in the game of seduction? Maybe just a little bit? Of course you are! Even if you are dressing sexy every night, that's playing out in our minds even if we don't touch the goods on that night. How could it not? Ultimately be yourself. Do what feels natural and good to you. Any decent guy will roll with you no matter how you dress in private...although I must say that your guy is one lucky man. It's always exciting and sexy to see. Only plan to wear more clothes if your pissed off about something.

eta - typos

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 8:28 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6865349
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Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 7:57 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Go on vacation and you miss a lot. Here are some answers to some questions that date back to about 2 weeks ago:

My wife has given birth to 4 kids, and each time her vagina went back to normal size. I noticed no difference at all.

Yes, men absolutely fall head over heels in love. Why wouldn't we? We're human.

WWE is just silly fun, but not all men are into it. I occasionally watch for a few minutes now and then.

Silver-gray hair on a woman: never really regarded it as attractive or unattractive, just part of the overall package. An attractive woman of any age who is comfortable in her own skin is always appealing, though.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:00 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

BH
Reconciled

posts: 1995   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest
id 6866169
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Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 8:03 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Is it true that menz priorities are 1. Money 2. Women 3. Anything else he chooses ?

I can't speak for all men, but sometimes sports, food and beer take the top spot.

In all seriousness, I think most men prioritize their families and careers in the top two spots, although not always in the right order. As they mature, faith often competes for the top spot.

Fist fights without grudges?

I'm 45 and way past fighting days, but my experience is that the fight relieves all the tension that built up between the two guys, and if both conducted themselves honorably during the fight (from the standpoint of being courageous, tenacious, etc.), then they are often left with mutual respect and admiration.

When we ask 'what are you thinking about?' Are you really thinking about nothing? How is that possible?

I'm not sure I ever really think about nothing at all. There's a pretty active soundtrack that goes on in my head, so it's always kind of musical. If there's nothing else going on or I'm feeling stressed, I often do math equations. For some reason that seems to soothe. But nothing at all? Sounds blissful. Would love to try it sometimes.

I guess it's hard to believe there are men out there that would really say "no" if some chick is hitting on them at work and they are giving you ego kibbles.

Believe it. That describes me and just about every guy in the Menz thread, at least I think it does. To screw around on my wife would be an unspeakable act of betrayal. I'd never consider it. Forget physical acts of betrayal, in 18 years of marriage, I can't recall a single conversation with another woman that I wouldn't want my wife to overhear.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:17 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

BH
Reconciled

posts: 1995   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest
id 6866178
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 8:39 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see?

It doesn't make it less exciting. For me I would just get used to the fact that while my SO is dressing sexy it is clearly for her benefit and not about initiating anything. So I would still like it as much but I might not react to it as much.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6866238
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thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 11:59 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

2

) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).

May I ask why only sex only happens once a week?

And no, dressing sexy does not desensitize.

-t2g

BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09

posts: 9204   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006   ·   location: ND
id 6866502
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redsox13 ( member #43391) posted at 12:44 AM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Before I started nursing I had A cup breasts that WH always said were perfect. Now that I'm a C cup he just oggles them all the time. Was he lying when he said I was perfect before?

Questions no sane man will EVER answer honestly:

Are my breasts too small?

Are they too big?

Are they too droopy?

Etc.

Honestly, girls, when you ask these type of questions you don't REALLY expect us to be honest, do you?

BS - 45
fWW - 43
Simply getting better.

posts: 1205   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2014
id 6866544
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Lonelygirl10 ( member #39850) posted at 1:50 AM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Believe it. That describes me and just about every guy in the Menz thread, at least I think it does. To screw around on my wife would be an unspeakable act of betrayal. I'd never consider it. Forget physical acts of betrayal, in 18 years of marriage, I can't recall a single conversation with another woman that I wouldn't want my wife to overhear.

It is so good to hear this, but so hard to believe it. Just feels like I'll never meet someone like that.

posts: 1803   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2013
id 6866597
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 2:02 AM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Honestly, girls, when you ask these type of questions you don't REALLY expect us to be honest, do you?

Were I to ask H a similar question (and I used to), I'd want him to tell me what his favorite part of my boobs (or whatever) is. That he likes ________ about them (whatever his answer is). Not necessarily asking to hear what he doesn't like about them, even though it might accidentally come out that that's what I'm asking, KWIM? Anyway, I don't ask that question anymore, because it upsets him, it's unproductive, and I'm trying not to look for his validation anymore.

For some of us, we might know that our H really finds another girl attractive (be it a movie star or a girl in real life, whoever). Maybe he even tells us specific features he likes about her. We'd like to know the specific features our H likes about us. That's all.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 8:03 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6866610
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Tickingtock ( member #41411) posted at 2:13 AM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014

May I ask why only sex only happens once a week?

I've been asking myself this very question.

Me: 31, xBSO, Now happily married

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2013   ·   location: West Coast, USA
id 6866625
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 2:22 AM on Thursday, July 10th, 2014

1. Why does shopping for birthday and Christmas gifts for us create so much anxiety?

2. You say you want to eat healthy so I buy nutritious food but when you go to the store you come home with chips, Beer and BBQ sauce. What gives?

3. Why does it take you 20 minutes to go #2. I have kids to feed and laundry to fold that I need help with! What are you doing in there?

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6866634
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