Well...I didn't just find out but I just found this website. This is the 2nd time I have caught him. I can't believe it has happened again. The first time was in 11/2012 and this last time was most recently early 2/2014. I am not exactly a stay at home mom but I don't work outside the home. The first time I came across many emails accidentally in the sent items box. I was searching for an email he asked me look for because he was away and didn't have internet access. He deleted all the conversations but not the sent messages. I was able to recover hundreds of emails from a sites like...craigslist, adult friend finder...I am sure you know where I am going with this. It was unbelievable...He was meeting random women online and having casual sex with them...I think the term is No Strings Attached! I never knew such thing existed...I know pretty naive!! He even paid for sex a few times
I couldn't believe my watery puffy eyes but I knew it was true. It was the hardest metaphorical slap in the face I have ever experienced. How did I not see this? Well let me explain the levels of his deceit. My H is not the guy that goes away on trips, stays at work late, goes out on the weekend or even goes out with friends. I never had a reason to not trust him...he went to work and came home. He was engaging in these activities during his work day, then coming home and having sex with me, speeding time with the kids, and acting completely normal.
But what I failed to realize the first time I caught him was these were classic symptoms of a SA. It is normal to them...casual sex, constant masturbation, pronography is the equivalent to brushing their teeth and eating everyday.
I did not see it for what it was and therefore accepted the apologies and went through the marriage counseling, required him to do individual counseling, and I (I want to emphasize the "I") worked hard on keeping communication open between us. But my inexperience and his level of addiction set us up for failure. He went through the motions and everything seem to back to normal.
Well...over a year later I couldn't shake the feeling of something is completely wrong. I am a student and it is common for me to be awake when everyone is in bed. This particular night I grabbed his computer and searched his hard drive. I found evidence of him visiting his old sites and watching pornography. I didn't need anymore evidence than that. I went to our room woke him up and told him he is a sick bastard and I wanted out. He had this stupid shocked look on his face...I just wanted to slap the piss out of him...don't worry I resisted the urge.
To be continued......
I have to run to class but I will finish
P.S. I feel a little relieved to be sharing my story