SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Praying that you move on and find someone who deserves you!

So you're saying that I should move on Plinker?

It's hard to say it and then do it. I'm hurt and find my self going back to the past. If there is more stuff that I don't know, I'm just going to lose it.

I'm afraid there is more than what I discovered and don't know if I should let that go.

Yme, only you know if you are ready to or even want to move on.

It's hard, I keep going to the past and can't shake what he's done to me and all the lying I've endured.

Yme, I know it's hard. But, whatever you choose to do, the realization of what he did will hurt. You need to decide whether you believe he can or has changed. And you need to make sure that he is completely open with you - no more secrets. And if you know he loves you and you love him, you try to make it work. It really does come down to that. If he loves someone else, you let him go. Or if what he did was so hurtful to you that you simply hate him, you at least need some time apart. But if you can look him in the eyes and still remember what it was that made you fall in love with him in the first place and you KNOW he still loves you, you stay and you begin the very difficult work toward R. Does this make any sense?

(((Yme)))

It does and I do love him. I just feel that he has held so much information on what he's done me. He claims that he has said everything but I for some reason just don't believe him. My IC told me if I get more info. I won't believe what he says either way and that if I get the truth will it make a difference than just hurt me some more.

Your IC is right. As the layers of this onion are unpeeled, it just hurts more and more. I believe that our WS's really believe they have told us everything. I know mine does. But every week it seems that I discover something else and it kills me all over again each time. Either his AP contacts me, pretending she is concerned about how I am doing and then throws in some nasty bits of information, or I torture myself by taking a closer look at those credit card records that had been hidden from me during the LTA. I have decided that enough is enough. Dredging up any more of the past is not going to help us R at this point.

The important thing is that he treats you well from this point on - with the love and respect that you deserve!

He has been and I know I should let go of the past but you know it hurts when you've been deceived, I'm trying my hardest to move past it and I do at times and then there are days that I'm at work sobbing like a baby.

Yup, I know about those days. They hit me whenever I hear a song from "Rock of Ages" because I know she took him to see the play.

Hang in there. Hate to sound corny, but it is true what they say: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You have strength in you that will help you pull through this - that and time will make it hurt less and less.

And you do know that, even if we choose to leave these people who hurt us so much, those memories will still hurt. Maybe even more so if we don't have their reassurance afterwards. As long as you are BOTH working toward R, there will be good and bad days. Eventually, the good days will win.

(((YMe)))

I can't wait for the good days to really start.

It seems a lot of things remind me of what's he's done seeing horses, passing by the town her met her, and even going to the club we used to hang out at.

I know if I were too leave, I will be taking the pain with me either way. He's trying that I do know. It's just be a rough road.