This Topic is Archived
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 9:20 PM on Saturday, July 5th, 2014
"Sharing your story helps others write theirs."
It takes so much courage to share this pain....especially when one posts of things they are embarrassed about.....when members start to honestly see flaws and brokenness within.
So grateful to all who share on SI......particularly those fWS's that authentically share where they were at and how they were able to choose as they did.
Karmahappens is a standout!
Peace
[This message edited by blakesteele at 3:22 PM, July 5th (Saturday)]
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
She-Ra ( member #36033) posted at 9:31 PM on Saturday, July 5th, 2014
I'm proud of Moo for getting his toenails painted so many times and helping fundraise for SI
Former story began here July 2012
We were mad-hatters. I was a WW first then a BS. Separated May 2017. 2 kids.
Met my new beginning May 2019 just discovered his EA Oct 2020 4 days after we bought a house
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 11:38 PM on Saturday, July 5th, 2014
I'd like to give a shout-out to YOP. Someone who can show all of us, the ramifications of infidelity on our children, and how fragile AND strong they can grow up to be. As well as how much insight and compassion those children of infidelity can grow into.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 12:56 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
I agree, SO many heros. I want to give a shout out to a few brave souls, CheaterMagnet, who gave her all, as so many of us did, to try to save her marriage and is now engaged in a bitter fight that involves the safety of her children. She is often in my prayers.
And Nekorb, who indeed was Broken, by a NPD asshole who tried to undermine her every move. She began her work here in a rather lost and fearful way, and has evolved into one of the first to post a supportive word to a JFO spouse. Her new courage and determination is inspiring, and I can tell that her life-after-asshole is going to be a strong, happy fulfilling one.
And to the many spouses of SAs, going through a very specific kind of hell. We learn far too much about a condition that none of us chose for a hobby. Sometimes I want to reach through the computer to embrace the newbies to take away that pain of discovery and disclosure. The shock is palpable. Yet, they get themselves up, take care of jobs, and kids and all the mundane things necessary. Kudos to all of you...
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 2:13 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
MrsD, thank you. There are so many members here who have held my head above water when I needed it. I was in a bad way for a long time & I'm glad that I was able to help you despite that. Sometimes I wonder if any of my ramblings make sense.
The one who talked me down so many times when I was losing my mind was Tired_Girl. And she did it while doing a lot of work on herself & her marriage and going through physical hardships as well. She's an incredible person and frankly brilliant.
[This message edited by JanaGreen at 8:20 PM, July 5th (Saturday)]
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 2:20 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Thank you Finally happy
And jana, thank you lady, I love you girl and there have been times it has been very mutual. I have very much enjoyed our friendship
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Guinness23 ( member #42852) posted at 2:41 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
I've only been on here a short while and I don't know many of you. The people who I think are the MOST special really are the ones with ID#'s under 30,000. These people apparently have lived their nightmare, got through it, started over and have remained here or returned to help the newbies out. THAT is admirable.
Everyone here is a fighter and a winner no matter where they are in the slippery slope.
For me, if I had to pick ONE poster on here to nominate it would have to be ALLATSEA. This man has definitely been an overcomer that has gone through more shit than any one person could take from someone who should have loved him till death do they part. He not only overcame this but did it with grace, humor, logic and patience which quite frankly would have sent anyone else not so level headed to jail for double homicide. He still isn't over the betrayl completely, but still handles himself in a very decent way, putting his boys first.
I nominate ALLATSEA
Me 48
Divorced 2010
1."'FOREVER' in love" lasts only 14 years.
2. Alcohol is NO solution just a bigger problem
My favorite drink is water. Call me Dasani23
gettherefromhere ( member #22932) posted at 3:48 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Catwoman has offered sound advice so many times.
Ascendant ( member #38303) posted at 4:46 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
I have to take the easy way out and second what many others have already stated: if you're here on SI, and not rugsweeping, you're to be admired. This shit ain't easy, no matter what side of the equation you're on.
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 4:53 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Everyone here brings with them something special to this site. While there are some here that have made a greater impact on my healing than others, as I stick around I find that each and every member is a treasure. To exclude any of them from my list would be totally impossible and unfair to them. The combination of all these treasures posting and sharing on this site is what makes this community on SI possible.
The healing stories are all different yet all of great value. From the new member that has the strength to start the 180 all the way through the member that has battled their healing journey and has moved on. There are thousands that have come before us and blazed the trail to help shape the wisdom and guidance of the healing process. There are hundreds that are on the healing journey taking time from their situation to help guide those just arriving here. Impressing on them the great example to give back.
So no matter if you are new here or a old time veteran; a betrayed, a wayward, or a madhatter; divorced or reconciling; serious or funny; eloquent with words or speak with simple straight forward answers, you are the ones that I am most proud of. Thank you for being you and making this site what it is.
I have to second Moo on this one - to narrow down to a few names doesn't do SI justice. It's how it all comes together from all of the posters that makes all the difference.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:55 AM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Way too many to mention for fear of leaving someone out.
I've known a number of timid BSs who have found their strength and said, "No more!"
I've also come to know so may former Waywards who have pulled their lives together and gone on to be inspirations for us all.
Some of the younger members who refused to wallow in self-pity and pushed themselves into new adventures.
Several members who were absolute hot messes who, through sheer determination and grit reinvented themselves.
All of the members who take the time to counsel and console new members taking their first steps on this journey.
As I said, way too many to mention.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 6:55 PM on Sunday, July 6th, 2014
Thanks Blake.... We are all just students. Life's lessons can be the most difficult to master!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 1:42 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Wow. Thanks for that Skan. I don't know what to say other than I don't know how to take a compliment.
I agree with the other's. If your on SI and working on yourself, kudos to you! So many bring their own experiences to the table.
I would like to say this though...the wayward section is what brought me to SI. I read there for months before I signed up. I had been trying to figure out for years why my mother would cheat and blow my FOO apart. I was looking for answers. What I found was a group of individuals who were struggling, but kept working, kept digging and trying to make them selves better, safer, people. I really admired that. That's all I really wanted from my own mother. Instead, she continues to flaunt her A(s). I did find my answer...it wasn't me or my father, or my brother. It was her. She's still broken.
There are so many that I would like to say thank you to. William, Sadmumma, Doggiediva, Iamsoblind42, Stillstanding1, Skan, Sistermilkshake, Kajem, Nekorb, Edith, jjct, Ashland13, Merlin, 5454real, MC_Jack, ReunitePangea, LosferWords, Mchercheur, norabird, Bigger, Stronger08, the entire NPD support thread (don't post there often but read there a lot) and my apologies because I know there are way more than this. Each of you has touched my life in some way. Whether I drew from your strength or you parted a few pearls of wisdom my way at one point or another. Collectively, you had a dramatic impact on my life and changed it for the better. I'm still a work in progress, but it's because of all of you that makes me want to stick around and pay it forward.
And to all of SI and the staff, THANK YOU! Cannot be overstated.
yop
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 2:19 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
My thanks to ALL OF YOU.
It's that simple of a shoutout for me.
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
Lostly ( member #43953) posted at 5:02 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
I agree that a big shout out goes to EVERYONE on this site. It takes guts to be brave enough to share your stories and help others navigate the mine (mind) field, and in my opinion you are all are pretty damn awesome! Seriously, it takes GUTS and a beautiful soul.
There was one poster who's thread I cannot find (and therefore cannot find her username) whose story was inspiring just cause that girl didn't take any crap. She had guts, mate!! She was the one who painstakingly collected evidence, threw the surprise birthday party for her WS, ( and took her WS's OW out shopping for a butt plug) and instead of the party had moved out, leaving the evidence as her surprise!
Does anyone know her username and possibly copy the thread? Thanks
BW 48 - Multiple d-days
Divorced 2012 after 19 yrs
6 smart, beautiful, amazing kids.
I have finally found my voice and it is good!
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 5:06 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Hey Lostly
That was Karmita
and this
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=507502
is her post
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 5:12 AM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Yeah, the Karmita thread deserves a sticky IMO. Right up there with the bomb thread.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Lostly ( member #43953) posted at 10:19 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
Thank you karmahappens, I thought Karmita thread was awesome!!!
FaithFool, what is the bomb thread? Can you please post a link?
BW 48 - Multiple d-days
Divorced 2012 after 19 yrs
6 smart, beautiful, amazing kids.
I have finally found my voice and it is good!
Schadenfreude ( member #43075) posted at 10:22 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
Karmita certainly wins the prize for the most, um, er, "creative" method of telling WS its over. It is the only time I've laughed out loud at a posting. Hard to top that one.
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 10:26 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
t/j
FINALLY HAPPY!!! Just seeing your name brings a huge smile to my face
We sure go back a long time, don't we? Over 12 years now
end t/j
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
This Topic is Archived