I found this helpful, pulled off affaircaredotcome.
1.I won’t get caught. This is probably the most absurd lie of them all but is truly the cornerstone of all the other lies. If this lie can be believed and swallowed, then the rest of them go down much easier. The truth is, you WILL get caught. It’s not a matter of if, but when. If the Director of the C.I.A. cannot conceal an affair, what makes you think you can?
2.No one will ever know. This lie is similar to the first but more in-depth in its scope. Not only will you not get caught but this is a secret you can take to your grave. After all, you have all your “bases” covered. All your alibis are solid. All your stories are straight. All your text messages deleted. All your emails erased. No one will EVER find out about it. You repeat this lie over and over until you believe it. The truth is, one day, EVERYONE will know, even if that knowledge occurs after you’re gone.
3.What they don’t know, won’t hurt them. This lie makes a lot of sense to a cheater but few cheaters would want that logic applied to them. Would you want a merchant to overcharge you for a product without your knowledge? Or worse yet, would you want a doctor to not share the diagnosis of cancer with you? I mean, if you don’t know the truth, it can’t hurt you, right? The truth is, sometimes, what people don’t know can destroy them.
4.Everybody is doing it. This is a common phenomenon in human behavior. Thieves think others are stealing because they are. In like manner, cheaters often assume others are being unfaithful because they are. Granted, adultery is rampant in our culture. But the truth is, NOT everyone is doing it. There are many faithful, loyal men and women out there – showing the rest of us what fidelity & commitment looks like.
5.It’s not that big of a deal. Downplay. Minimize. Reduce. Common tactics for someone who is playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded pistol. If it’s not a big deal, then why all the lies? If it’s not that big of a deal, why the secrecy? If it’s not such a big deal, do it openly. The truth is, it IS a big deal and the knowledge of it will devastate everyone who knows you.
6.People already know and are ignoring it. Some of the lies sound crazy once you are living in the truth. This is one of them. There are times when you are convinced that everyone knows and they are turning a “blind eye” to your behavior. This is false anesthesia to the soul. The truth is, no one is condoning your actions. They truly don’t know…yet.
7.God will forgive me. This is a case of spiritual gymnastics. The cheater has enough knowledge of God and His word to be deadly. Yes, God will forgive all sins except unbelief (Mark 3:28-29). However, this does not mean you should presume upon His grace or forgiveness (Romans 6:15). Even if God forgives you, it does not mean you will come out unscathed by His consequences (Proverbs 6:29). The consequences for such behavior are truly devastating for everyone in your life.
8.My spouse will forgive me. Maybe they will. Maybe they won’t. Is this the risky card you really want to play? Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. It does not mean you will be accepted back or restored to your previous position. Forgiveness may be quick but trust will take years. You are making some dangerous assumptions about someone you are hurting.
9.I’m not getting what I need. This may be true but cheating isn’t the answer. Just because your employer does not pay what you “need” does not mean embezzling money is the answer to that dilemma. If you are not getting what you need, tell your spouse. Go to counseling. Meet with a therapist. Attend a support group. Talk to a friend. Though cheating may scratch your itch for a season, it won’t make the itch go away. There is a deeper itch beneath the surface that cheating cannot scratch. Commit to finding the proper solution for it.
10.It’s just a physical thing. Nope, wrong again. It’s an emotional thing. And a mental thing. And a spiritual thing. It may seem physical to you but your whole being is involved here (mind, body, spirit), not just one horny member of it.
