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General :
If OW is beautiful?

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Melian40 ( member #41205) posted at 12:16 AM on Thursday, July 24th, 2014

I agree with Karmita.

If a woman is beautiful and talented, why would she pick a "used" and "second hand" married man?

Isn't she supposed to deserve better?

So, there must be something really wrong in her inside world.

BW-me:41
BH-him:42
DD-age 10
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"

posts: 401   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2013
id 6883344
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sunflowergirl30 ( member #28979) posted at 2:46 AM on Thursday, July 24th, 2014

Over the 4 yrs I have been in SI I have seen posts like this. Its not about looks. Not in the big picture of this. Its about availability and selfishness. When I discovered wh and mow PA wh was 32, she was 45 and I was 33 honestly I never thought he would cheat and not w/HER. She wasnt/isnt hideous...wh said She was different,new. She laughed at his jokes and wanted him. His behavior that drove me crazy...she thought it was cute. She thought he was soooo funny. He was her "bad boy". stereo typically the OP is younger and hotter but in reality most times they are not younger or hotter. The OP is broken and not worth debating. If it wasnt them it would have been someone else. My wh admits that. Its not something to envy. I see her for what she was/is. I feel sorry for her. If she was my age or younger and "hot" it wouldnt have made me feel any better. I think its ridiculous to compare. Either way it sucks.

First D-day May 2010, Last D-day Sept 2015. Filed for divorce Nov. 2015
Divorce final March 4, 2016

To many false R’s to mention. One to many affairs to list. Cheaters suck, suck the life right out of you, as they smile in your face..




posts: 1182   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 6883474
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 Cordelia (original poster member #43568) posted at 12:22 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

I didn't want anyone to think I was ungrateful and ignoring replies, but until WS starts work properly he is always around and looking over my shoulder when I am on the computer. He caught me looking at a new, private email address I had set up.

So I found out more about her but it doesn't really make a lot of difference. After I looked at her on LinkedIn I spoke to him again about it but he is sticking to his story. For the past three months he has been caring, passionate and wants to get married. Almost like he knows he made a bad mistake and forgot what he had. From an intimate point of view everything has been better than it has been for a long time. I am wondering if some time the bubble is going to burst. He watches my every mood, or look, checking, checking, checking. I can't so much as look as I am in thought, and he is kissing me. I'm not sure if he could have kept all this up for so long if it wasn't genuine. Or maybe I am just kidding myself.

[This message edited by Cordelia at 6:22 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)]

Me BS now BW, 55
Him WS now SH, 50
Together 18 years
No children (sadly couldn't have them)
DD April 2014, received letter from OW
a relationship the previous Dec 2013-Jan 2014, started by dating website.
TT 8/14
5/2015, DD2, discovered

posts: 219   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2014
id 6895544
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Alonelyagain ( member #32820) posted at 1:03 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

I agree with other posters that it's not necessarily about AP's physical appearance, but rather about meeting needs. That being said, I believe that where the OW is very physically attractive, there has to be something wrong with her to knowingly settle for a married man, when there are many available single men.

posts: 416   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2011   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6895582
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