She sounds just plain nasty to be around. Her lack of empathy for you is outrageous. She's like an ice queen. Rude, cold, nasty, blaming, she covers most of the negative bases there.
I still strongly believe things have no chance of improvement until you start getting seriously real with actual consequences. Dealing with you being upset means nothing to her, it's not a consequence. Kicking her out of the house is the level of consequence I'm talking about.
She doesn't believe you are capable of standing up for yourself that's why she doesn't take you seriously.
She isn't reading that book to help the two of you, she's doing it to partly shut you up. She seems to have zero respect for you.
What are you trying to do with this woman? She's not who you need her to be. Believe her when she says that she doesn't have time for this. Work is more important to her.
I'm going to guess that at dinner tonight either you both pretended everything was fine or she played more games with words with you, blaming you, dismissing you, and dancing around her lack of ability to commit.
Or she's the type to tell you what you want to hear but 3 days later already can't bothered. That angle works for her because you happily accept any pathetic crumb she throws your way and it works to quiet you for a while.
Stop this continual bargaining to lower your standards just because she can't meet them.
This doesn't stop until you force it. Kick her out of the house. See a lawyer and get divorce papers drawn up.