SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Wedding anniversary is Saturday. Not sure how I feel about that. We have mentioned it, and he asked if he can acknowledge it. I don't know.

Dday was two weeks shy of my 30th. I made him plan everything and set my conditions. I ended up really enjoying that time and it was a great rebonding experience. There's always the work and back to reality after. IMO this is something you need to decide depending on where you want to go from here. Doesn't it suck to have such a cloud over times that you deserve to celebrate?

My 23rd anniversary was 7 weeks after DDay. We had a long-planned dinner and theater date, and went through with it because we had already spent the $$. It was hideous, and I cried alot.

If you decide to acknowledge it, do something low key that you can leave in a hurry if need be.

Dday was 3 months before our 26th anniversary. I told WH a present was important this year (even told him which ring would make a lovely anniversary gift.) But we exchanged gifts a few days before the day because I was afraid the day itself would be horrid. So the day was ordinary and we went to MC in the evening. It was what I needed.

Ours is next week. I think that may be why I am having a resurgence of anger and stuff. Not sure.

Our 2 year anniversary was just shy of 3 months after dday, he'd already taken our 10 year anniversary of meeting and flushed it down the toilet. It was difficult. He planned everything while getting my ok, he booked a hotel room in a major city near us for the night before and we went to a stage show the day before as well. So the day before and that night were pretty good. He had organised a special bath in our room, candles and food on arrival. It was very thoughtful. On the actual day we went to a movie and I found the actual day fairly difficult. He handed me a card when we got home that basically reiterated his promises. Some advice our mc's gave us the week before, was to pick 2 days in the following 2 weeks in which we put the affair aside and acted how we wanted to act in our marriage in the future. So no affair talk and really reaching down to the kind of partner we wanted to be. We weren't to share what day we did this with the other. Anyway I chose the day before our anniversary and it was mostly really freeing to let the affair go for the day and try and see us as a couple having moved past most of the hurt and pain of the affair. Like a quick snapshot of what the future might hold for us. It helped and is part of the reason I am still here. But admittedly, I couldn't choose our actual anniversary for that.

((deena04))

My 18 year anniversary is next month and I've had mixed feelings about it. My husband wants to celebrate it since we are still married, living together, and trying to R. I'm so angry because our last anniversary was during the A. We went out to watch a football game at a bar with another couple. (He didn't want to do anything romantic.) The phone records show that he called OW four times that day/night. She was pissed that he took me out at all, so I'm sure he was ass kissing.

Anyway, I'm trying to move past it. Why should my anniversary be miserable because of OW? This may be a good opportunity for intimacy and to put things aside for a day. For me, the ideal situation would be for us to go out of town that night. I so want out of this damn town anyway.

Our 20th was last week. The days leading up were a bit anxiety producing for me. He had our video put into DVD and wanted to watch it. I did not. We were going to go away together and while that would have been nice I changed it to a family trip which was probably better. On our anniversary we did sneak away for a nice dinner and took a long walk. We have great talks during out walks. Included apt if discussion about the A, but it was good discussion. Clear the air kind if stuff. We also discussed the past 20 years and things we have done well as well as regrets. Great conversations really although painful sometimes. Lots if apologies and promises for the future by WH. I think taking the pressure off of it was good for us. I do want to do a trip this fall instead. When they pressure of 20th anniversary isn't there...