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hopefulfourus (original poster member #25204) posted at 11:56 PM on Saturday, August 2nd, 2014
So he was served D papers this past Thursday. We talked about some things--he mentioned legal separation so he can keep medical insurance, then said I could stay in house until kids graduate from HS in 4 years, etc.
Thinking back over our marriage, he truly was not there for us, only when it was convenient for him. He always thought of himself, going out with friends, going on his vacations, etc. I truly felt like a single parent, taking the kids wherever they needed to be.
I am thinking that we will NOT have family gatherings with our grand kids someday (I know, my kids are still young), growing old together, taking care of me going through a potential health scare right now, and just plain old, being alone for the rest of my life! I really don't have immediate family left; both of my parents have passed on as well as my brothers. I have friends-mostly married though. My family is my 2 kids, him and his family.
Is this just normal??
Me: BW. 40's
Him: WH POS. 40's
2 kids. DD16, DS14
Don't let my user name fool you...I am NOT hopeful for us at ALL!!
AmSoDone ( member #43871) posted at 12:08 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014
((hopeful))
I don't have any advice, I'm feeling the same way so just wanted to say you are not alone.
BP(me) 53
WP (scumbag) 55
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.
Sleepingbeauty ( member #43792) posted at 12:16 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014
You are saying goodbye to so many things all at once and you really have no control over any of it. It is scary no matter how old or young you are.
I think when we realize that our hopes and dreams are gone it takes us awhile to look to the new ones with hope.
Start with one positive thought a day no matter how small it is and then think of two, then three and so forth.
If you don't have a support system, post here often and get support from others in your shoes.
It may not seem like it at this point in time but it will get better a little moe each day.
Jls0320 ( member #41192) posted at 12:48 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014
I know exactly how you feel, I was crying last night and told him he didn't deserve my tears. I'm sad to lose the family picture I dreamed of, sad he decided he doesn't want ME when I have been amazing to him, sad to lose every other wknd w my boys, sad at how lonely and sad I am when he appears to be just fine. We deserve someone so much better in our lives, and I know in my head that time will make it better but it's just so hard to see that right now. Hang in there
Me: BS 2 young kiddos
Him: EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one
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