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BlueBlueEyes ( member #43949) posted at 6:32 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
I emailed the cow back from my husbands secret account when I found it and told her she'd better call me NOW! She did... I said everything I had to say and told her what I thought about them and their disgusting behavior. She asked me if I wanted an apology. I sai WTF? What do you think that's going to fix? I should have said, "no!,disinfectant!"
After that awful night, I emailed and texted constant questions. I know this was incredibly difficult for her, but she felt she owed me the answers. At this point, if your apology included some of the things you said in you question, I would love to hear that from her. I don't know what state of mind your OW is in or how she will react to you. Sometimes I wish she would just disappear. The fact is that I think about her constantly. Every day, every hour. This is a woman who did intimate things with my husband. I don't know if that pain will ever heal. I would like to know she feels pain about her part in this. Actually, she did state that in an email answering some of my questions. Was so clouded with pain I didn't realize. 
[This message edited by BlueBlueEyes at 12:35 PM, August 22nd (Friday)]
BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.
OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.
Hopeful but cautious
IntoTheLight ( member #42957) posted at 6:33 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
While I agree the OBS had ever right to tell your husband about your affair, she does not have carte blanche to harass either you or your husband indefinitely. If she is "messing with your life," start documenting her harassment and go to the police.
Thank you. She's no longer contacting my BH and the other digs aren't anything I can't handle. She's hurt and I understand. She's actually handled it way more gracefully than I would in her shoes.
WW-Me
BS-Him
Reconciling after confessing LTA
AchillesHealed ( member #41805) posted at 7:32 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
Well, I hope she leaves you alone so everyone can heal and move on.
I assume your BH, who is surely every bit as hurt as she is, isn't acting out and messing with your ex-AP's life.
whattheh ( member #40032) posted at 7:52 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
I would not welcome any communication. NC means NC. Leave the OM's BS in peace. You are the last person she would ever want to hear from and you need to accept and internalize that.
Retired & now in 60's-M 39 Yrs-DD 2013-TT for 3 yrs (new details incl there had been 3 more MOWs)--all this started with porn use for mid 50s WH (felt he was possessed)~~Cheating and aftermath is huge time waste with high opportunity cost~~
ukerzouker ( new member #44607) posted at 11:32 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
The OW was a dear friend of mine, and the words she used in her apology both ensured that we would never be friends and brought up more contention between my WH and I. My advice is to let her be on her own path. You feel the need to apologize for the pain you cause her, and that's good, but regardless of your motivation, contacting her will probably be seen as selfish and intrusive.
BW (me) - 32
WH - 34
Married 12/28/2013, together since 3/2010
D-Day 8/19/2014, EA since 4/1/2014
In R but still taking trips to Trigger Town
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