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Just curious to know, for those who had affairs or were the betrayed spouse.. when your spouse left for the other person, how did the affair end?

My WH left for the OW 3 months ago… He believes this relationship will last… given the statistics I have a hard time believing that…

How did yours/your spouses end? And how long was it before it ended?

My ex left and immediately glommed with the OW (lovingly called TwatWaffle by yours truly). He moved in with her before the divorce was final. Moved out 8 months later. Moved back in, then back out again. They finally split about 5 years after he initially moved in with her. I don't know what happened, but she was in a hurry to get out--closed on her house Christmas Eve.

She took him for tens of thousands of dollars, too.

You. Get. What. You. Deserve.

Cat

My wh's affair with his OW lasted 11 months and ended because mostly he couldn't stand her. Buyer's remorse. She really was everything he accused me of. Didn't take to long for him to see it. Lol

He told her though it was cause he couldn't win custody of our kids living with her. Still funny, cause they were trying to convince the court I was neglectful. With that said, sometimes it does last, though if they are actually happy is debatable. I think a lot of times the only reason they stay together, is they both have the right kinda crazy as opposed to morals. Still not a realtionship most people would like to have.

This is a question I wonder about often. My STBXWH left me for the OW. It's a LTA and has continued long distance 5 months post DDday. I know I need to stop wondering if it will last, but it's a question I can't stop asking.

With the OM dead.

My now XH left me 14 1/2 years ago. He moved in with the OW the very day he left our house. They married two years later and are still together.

He retired and we moved across country. OW stalked me online (before and after the move), by phone and by mail. Luckily this only lasted for a year and was sporadic. She refused to stop calling my WH. In an act of desperation (or aggravation) he threw his new cell phone into the lake. He went years with only the home landline.

I think the OW gave up fairly quickly after we moved because who wants to travel 2000 miles for a quickie?

Last I heard, my ex and snaggletooth are still together. Fortunately, I've moved on and no longer give any fucks what he does.

ETA: if they are still together, that's three years and counting from divorce, almost 4 since they started dating (while we were married).

[This message edited by Amazonia at 10:32 PM, September 5th, 2014 (Friday)]

I asked him "whose number is this? 1000 messages in 5 days. Whose number is this?"

.. And that started dday.

Boom like that he was done, with both of them. He had no attachment to either of them. We did a formal NC a few days later s that there would be no more contact ever.

I find it very.. bizarre in a confusing way. If he could drop them so easily, why ever start?

[This message edited by Lark at 11:03 PM, September 5th (Friday)]

His affair with OW1 started in July 2013 and ended dday 6/6/14.

His affair with OW2 started with flirting in Mayish 2013, he dropped her cold turkey when he confessed to a friend he was flirting, then he resumed with her flirting + full PA in March 2014. Ended dday.

His affair lasted about a year and a half.. I separated and filed for divorce within 2 months of D-Day, they moved in together soon after that, and they are still together now, almost 2 years after D-Day..

But he did cheat on OW already with a 21-year-old twink, so I'm happy to report I'm with Amazonia and no longer give any fucks about what he does.

Ahhh sorry I misunderstood the original post, I thought it was asking how the affair ended in general

@lark

How the affair ended in general too!

I'm curious to know...

I have read that the average is two years.. And most end sooner than we think.

Although I am curious because it seems on here a lot of lasted much longer than expected.

Two years seems so long... My husband's went on about 13 months from the first flirts to dday. And although he was broken when he started, that year really emptied him out and destroyed so much that remained. I can't even imagine what kind of shell he'd have been if he went on for another year.

The A lasted about 9 weeks and two Ddays. I did not listen to advice here after Dday1. They were both full of crap and took the A underground. The did not even make 24 hours before they were texting again. Dday2 was 3 weeks later. I left. The kids and I stayed with my BIL's family for a few days. As far as I know that ended the A. They still work for the same company. Four years out and he no longer feels the need to inform me if he sees her at work, or is forced to be in the same room with her. Basically he has given up trying to make me feel safe.

My H's affair lasted exactly 2mos. He ended it and established NC on his own. I found the emails ~2-weeks after he ended it.

My WW's A started when the OM began PMing my wife on FB. He is the son of a family friend and lives across the country. This turned into a long distance EA and then a weekend PA.

The guilt and shame ate my WW alive and she confessed the A to me about ten days after her trip. Although she was very remorseful, she still had a strong attachment to the OM and broke NC. I ended the A by exposing the A to the OMs parents. I called his father who in turn called his son and blasted him. Minutes later the OM texted my wife and threw her under the bus. He had never been nasty to her before and this suddenly brought out his true colors. The fantasy of him being so wonderful was gone. He is a loser.

Exposure is a great tool for killing an A.

caught him both times and he phoned them in front of me to end it.

not sure if OW1 knows how I found out. - I looked at his phone.

OW2 I caught him with in a park so she knows and she also knows I have pictures of them together.

The affair lasted two months from first talking about "feelings" to D-day. One month and one week exactly from first fuck to D-day--and she was out of the country for three of those weeks. (I figured it out two days after she got back.)

It stopped on D-day. Officially it was supposed to be a summer fling, and so would have (theoretically) stopped by now. He realizes now that that it was a stupidly foggy thing to think it could just be shut off an a schedule with no complications.

He also realizes that being able to drop her so easily on D-day, without a second thought, without missing her, really shows there wasn't anything REAL to it.

I decided to check the computer browser history. I saw her name with an email he said he did not have. I called him on the phone. I read out what I saw and demanded the pw or I was going to shread some important documents he had to have in order to work. He gave it to me , I hung up. He called her the second I hung up and ended it and never contacted her again.

The affair was 18 months long distance, was EA and PA. He had tried to end it several times and she threatened to tell me. The second I knew, her threats were no longer valid.