SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You are very fortunate that you have no children w/your WW. You are fortunate that you are young enough that you can start fresh with a faithful wife who truly is madly in love with you.

It's pointless trying to reconcile w/a habitual cheater. The behaviour is so finely ingrained that it's not going to stop. (Possible, not probable that it will stop).

On the off chance that your WW isn't full of shit, she'll continue doing all the things that she's saying she's "going" to do even AFTER you D. I'd keep an eye on that.

She has plenty of incentive to keep you in a holding pattern. You have many, many, many reasons to run like hell from her.

(((HMT))

I agree with the others. Your plan B and she is full of shit. She doesn't want YOU back, she wants the comforts that come with being your W. But she does not want to have to live up to her end of the marital bargain, especially the forsaking all others part. She just wants to eat cake and she expects you to be the baker once again. Honestly bro look at the situation, she has done nothing tangible to change her ways. She talks a good game but thus far has done zero in the action department to attempt change. Stay the course on the D front, and if your so inclined watch her actions in the future. She must want to change not because you D her, but because she wants to be a better person. So far her only motivation to change is purely situational because it appears OM has given her the boot. She wants a soft landing and figures she can sweet talk you into doing just that. Don't be a sucker here my friend.

My XWH begged, pleaded, cried, promised to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. He went to counseling, read books, and treated me like a queen. I took him back, 6 years later DD was born and then when she was only a few months old, he cheated again.

After the 2nd A came out, I found out about more A's that I didn't know about during our supposed R.

The biggest regret that I have in life was taking him back the first time.

Is she still with the OM?

If she's begging you to come back, it's because you're worth having... and certainly better than her.

That means there will be plenty of real women out there who'd love a guy like you. Women who don't express their being madly in love by fucking other men.

29. No kids. Easy-peasy. She's gone.

You have no kids, nothing worth fighting for. You want the person you are with to make you the top priority, obviously after 3 ddays you aren't. How many more is it going to take to find your self worth?

She is not worth it, if she is let her do the work. Ask her what her plan for winning you back is and she will give you a bunch of crap, everything she hasn't done so far. She wants to lure you back in so she can continue having her cake.

Dump her and move on, not worth going back to sloppy seconds.

Get the divorce. If by some miracle she really is remorseful and willing to do the work to really change herself you can always reconnect later.

As everyone has said - actions speak louder than words. She can still pursue becoming a better person even if you divorce.

***UPDATE***

Hello friends!

Wow, I can't even begin to tell you what a better place I am in than I was over a month ago. My divorce is final in less than 20 days and I'm feeling more and more confident about my decision each day.

Anytime I had doubts, I would come back to this forum and read all the wonderful advice you gave me. So, thank you!

I was still dealing with some guilt about leaving my WW. (Even though I knew it was the right thing to do for my future.) However, last week, a friend of mine sent me a screen shot of my WW's TINDER (a hook-up app) profile! This gave me all the assurances I needed that her nightly begging of me to take her back and vows about how much she had changed were all a lie. Her actions have verified her true heart and I am walking away with a clear conscience and a bright future!

Thanks again for all the support!

I am sorry that what we all said was true. None of us want to admit that we can't save our marriage. When dealing with an unremorseful spouse who keeps cheating there is little we can do but stand by and watch them self-destruct. I am glad that you are getting in a better place now. D is never easy even if you know it's really your only option left. Check out the NB forum. It may help you know what to look for and what red flags to avoid in future relationships. Good Luck!!!

Good for you brother. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row also.

Her actions have verified her true heart and I am walking away with a clear conscience and a bright future!

Exactly this. I still loved him when I walked away from him. For a while afterwards too. He helped cure me of that by heartbreakingly and repeatedly showing me his true self through his actions.

The guy I thought I married would never have done any of that to me. Any of it. From the cheating to the lying all through False R, to the blaming me for the failure of our M, to moving his whore in with my little girls so quickly afterwards, to fucking me over every way he could on the D, to gloating about how fucked I am financially for life (my career is not compatible with children as a single mum) etc. etc.

It doesn't mean it didn't hurt like a motherfucker. It just means my reaolve was strengthened. This shit is hard enough without also having to deal with guilt/doubt.