SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sadsap, yes. It's TRUE the bad but also the true. Myself, I'm over 3 years and still dealing with it but let me tell you. I look at what my situation is now and look at it as a blessing what my ex did. If I was to sit and have a conversation with her I would thank her now! Because what she did has made me a better person and opened my eyes in a huge way. It's on how we react to it that makes the difference. Yes its easier said than done but believe me, there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. That's a line I was told in the beginning and did not even think it was possible then. Now I know there is, the difference is on how bright you want that light to shine. That depends on how we reach react. This is the right place.

Found this today. At 9 months out the rollercoaster is real. I was in shock for so long all I could do was survive. Then I became so sick I was shocked out of shock so to speak. I found this place.

What I read here that touched me the most was KNOW YOUR WORTH. I cannot count how many times worthless has gone thru my mind. I have been thru this twice and so worthless seeps into my mind. This time, WH gave the gift of very LTA so there was a lot of gaslighting causing a lot of confusion while being told I was loved. Worthless plays in my head even though I know the affair was not about me. The journey is to breathe that in. To breathe in I am WORTH so much more than the way I have been treated.

I do get stronger everyday. I now stand up for myself, something I never use to do. I cry at times, go does the rabbit hole sometimes but always crawl back out. I have not decided what the rest of my life will be and that's ok. It's hard because nobody really understands the brutality of infidelity if they haven't walked its messed up trail. I have learned this is MY life and I WILL choose my own path.

Thank you EEJJ for this post. Whenever I read about the survivors on the other side, whatever they choose, I am encouraged. I needed to know my worth today. I need to breathe in at all times I AM WORTHY.

Bump for EEJJ

Thank you very much for the bump.

Apologize for the delay, time is just flying for me.

Purple haze, yes! That is what hit me hard when I finally realized that, it changed everything! My whole outlook! To this day I preach and am proud of it. Yes purple haze, you are exactly that, worth so much more! I hope you are growing more and more with that and yourself.

Hello all, As I logged in to check my messages and respond to some of my posts and other fellow members, I realized something. Tomorrow is 4 years for me, 4 years after D day. 4 years later! Wow. I can still remember my first day here on SI! For all here on JFO, please read this post. Then head to my new post in regards to the 4 years later!!

Thank you

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=629997

This is such a great post! So relatable, especially the part where people will give you advice and say things about your WS’s character that you just won’t believe “no, not my spouse, they’re not that bad etc etc”. Glad you’re doing well EEJJ and thanks for sharing

zengirl, Thank you for reading and thank you for your words. Hope all is well.

Another betrayed husband who made the decision to divorce and doesn't regret it one bit. Great post - very inspiring!

Thank you I survived,

Was not really my choice with the stork I was handed but you can say I am making the best of it.

I was dealing with a gentleman whose cheating and despicable ex was posting trash talk to facebook and any other platform. She thought that her ex was too much of a wimp to do anything about it. He was calling her and threatening to post the dirty details of her affair. She kept snapping back that he was too much a wimp to ever risk looking bad to his friends. What she did not take into account was how very deeply angry he was. She did not count on his anger. It started with a one liner at the bottom of one of her posts. It basically said that you should not believe everything she posts. She commented that "Wimpy" should order another burger. He began posting, he named names, he gave times and places, he posted slightly censored pics, but enough to show her face. Within the hour, he gets an email "TAKE THAT DOWN, I LOOK LIKE A TOTAL WHORE", he responds, "You are and now even our kids know that you could be independently wealthy if you charged. That just makes you a stupid whore/" He received threat after threat. He escalated every time her lawyer called, a new picture showed up. Her parents were apoplectic, all their friends saw their daughter in several pornographic situations. He was not even listening to legal threats. When he posted a pic of her with an underage male, that was the end. He told her his demands, and she capitulated. It was too late, as the young man's parents were her friends, and they had her charged with statutory. So, she is now fighting a divorce where she will probably be on the sex offender registry, which means she has lost her minor children, and her family cannot help her. She was a bitch after being caught, now she is actively looking for the deepest cave to hide in.

One thing I was told when I first got on here is something needs to happen to make them snap out of it. In my case, Many things happened and she never snapped out of it. But, sounds like this one did Plate!

Bump

Thank you for this post.

I've been alone in a hotel reeling since x-mas eve.

So much of what you said resonated with me and it helps so much to hear from the other side. Right now it's like being thrown into a pit, not knowing the way out, and wishing so much that this just were not happening.

To have the person who you'd always turn to in moments of pain not be there.

To realize that your "normal life" is just not there to go back to.

To know it's not in your power to give your kids their life that they expect - that their other parent has taken that from them.

thanks for posting this is the just found out page - your words helped during what I hope is my darkest hour.