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I agree with fender guy That not helpful nor necessary

I think Walloped has probably asked himself those same questions a billion times, what purpose does it serve moving the conversation forward now? (if there is even one)

Useless blather that most likely emanates from your own anger, MFLM.

I Agree with fender Guy!!!

I made the post because there may still be a chance to help Walloped find peace. The issue is not old but very much still on going - however the correct place to post my advice (of all his threads) was this one.

I still feel that Walloped is not at peace nor will he be unless he truly starts over again with his wife. For his good as well as hers. I have a strong feeling that she is in survival mode and will say and do anything to appear truly remorseful. Yet she will drop hints that it was partially his fault and that she didnt really enjoy it and then when called out on it, will say oh ok I did enjoy it, however if we do split I want alimony etc etc.

She is not like some of the other true remorseful WW's who are prepared to split up and still stay true to the BS in the hope of restarting their life.

What is the purpose of this forum if not to help the Walloped's of this world ?

I was warned about calling out Mrs Walloped on her behaviour and so I stopped posting anymore on her thread. The very least I can do is offer Walloped some advice - he does not have to take it but I can assure you he is not at peace with this - and maybe, just maybe getting divorced and then dating again will give him the peace he seeks.

And yes, like many of you I do feel anger when I see a Walloped being taken advantage of. Its not personal circumstances but sympathy and empathy for a BS.

MFLM . . . Unless you really can read minds, Walloped will probably have a much better idea of his wife's past and current feelings and motivations than we will, especially at this point. While it's true there often similarities in some behaviors that can be pointed to . . . your assessment seems to me too have gone a bit beyond that.

I could be wrong, but I think a number of us feel that Walloped has come a long way, and has taken control of the situation for the most part. . .let's concentrate on supporting him and responding to specifics, rather than delving into the psychic hotline type feelings. Right now things seem to be working out for them, which I believe is what he is looking for.

Sorry for the t/j. Hang in there Walloped. I hope you both can find happiness in whatever paths you choose!

[This message edited by c24j at 6:11 PM, February 16th (Friday)]

I don't know where you get the idea that things are working out for them. It was exactly the opposite feelings conveyed by Walloped that prompted me to dig into the whole story and what happened. He is not sure every day that he can continue and is riding a rollercoaster of emotions.

And when I checked, I could clearly see why. And so offered him an explanation and a way out that could help them both.

I do believe that he should hang in there and if I am wrong about the situation, then I am glad for it and for him.

manfromlamancha, you have a pm.

manfromlamancha, you are projecting your own issues onto a different person. If you actually read her posts, Mrs. Walloped is clearly remorseful. Yes, she is scared of losing what is an upper class lifestyle with a high value man. But it sounds like she herself is a very high value woman and Walloped wants to reconcile.

It's unconscionable to be kicked off one thread and to dredge up another old thread just to vent about your own issues. Just because you were married to a low value woman who cheated on you doesn't mean you have to vent on this thread.

And you know this how manfromlamancha?

Do you think for one second that Walloped will take any notice of you? He just has to read your other posts to see where you come from.

It is a difficult enough path they are travelling without adding to their troubles with posts in this tone.

French, I wasn't kicked off any thread. All I saw was a fellow man hurting and a woman in survival mode - simple.

My story has nothing to do with this - and you are hiding behind anonymity while attacking my wife - would love to see you do it face to face (cowards are rife).

Not sure what your definition of a high quality woman is but this is becoming pathetic.

I would not be able to even find this thread if Walloped had not made it available. How do you think I found it?

In any case I have promised the Moderators not to interfere with their "reconciliation" but at least Walloped has the option to read or ignore what I wrote. There was a lot of thinking, analysis and cross checking that went into it. And this was primarily for Walloped's well being. He is the one person that should tell me to back off.

I do hope that they have a happy ever after life. And that she never does it again (which I do not think she will). My advice of splitting and then starting anew was for his well-being.

Great that you so simply saw a fellow man hurting, and a WW in survival mode, MFLM.

O wise one... can we, just not myself, be taught to comprehend your ability to look beyond the words utilized by both parties, so that we can all discern a WW only looking out for her economics, as you suggested.

Or, as I suspect that it is, you’re full of bullschlacka... and trying to pass off your own anger with your own WW as equivalent to Walloped’s and Mrs. Walloped’s situation.

Come on... you are so sure in what you wrote. We, as observor3, need to see your logic, rather than than the

projection you presented.

Nevertheless, I’m sure sure that not only me, but many others, are willing to support your position, If, but only if, you provide substantiated reasons for your opinion outlined above.

If you cannot provide substation for your opinion outlined above.... I must ask whether we can call you a liar! Just asking, MFLM. If it’s all bullschoacka, can we ask you t remove the above comments, at least for the reason that they are pointless?

[This message edited by Drumstick at 6:12 AM, February 18th (Sunday)]

All I can say is that I thought my W was remorseful, until I came across the story of W and Mrs. W. Mrs.W may not be perfect (who is?), but I wish my W was half as remorseful as she is.

Sure, she might be in survival mode to some degree. Is that so wrong? Sure, she doesn't want to lose her lifestyle. I don't want to lose mine, either. But that doesn't mean her intentions for R are superficial.

[This message edited by Fenderguy at 11:17 AM, February 18th (Sunday)]

manfromlamancha,

I have no problem with you posting. I do question the wisdom in the way you said it. It seems to me that you are trying to hit me over the head with a sledgehammer, and your points, valid or not, get lost as a result. You don’t think I know what she did? You detracted from any message you hoped to convey by the way in which you said.

I also disagree with bringing this thread back up. I am no longer in JFO as a newly betrayed. It’s been 2.5 years. Bringing this thread back up simply detracts from those in JFO who truly need it.

If you want to post, either start a new thread in General or Reconciliation or PM me. The fact that you didn’t choose the latter option but posted publicly makes me question your motives.

Regardless, no ill will, but I will not be posting to this thread again. It’s unfair to the others here.

I guess the way we post is a reflection of our general outlook in life that we are currently experiencing. I know that when I first started to post that I was curt, abrupt, and somewhat callous. I realized this, changed my approach to ensure that what I posted was in deed helpful.

I also have noticed, unfortunately, that some BS's experiences have had negative affects on their ability to move forward with a more positive outlook. But then thats life. We see the good and the bad. It's up to us to choose which we take on board.

Wallop, you have a great family. Sure, your wife's affair has had a huge impact but after 2 1/2 years you are now probably starting to see 'the wood from the tree's'. You are probably seeing more clearly the path that will bring you the most happiness. And if you need help, I recommend a recent post in cantsleepccanteat's thread in 'Wayward' for both you and your wife to peruse. Forgot who wrote it but its about the 4th last post there. Helped that couple over that last hurdle.

Just checked, it was written by lifeiscrazy.

[This message edited by paboy at 12:26 PM, February 18th (Sunday)]

BS ONLY

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:00 PM, March 14th (Wednesday)]