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lostinoklahoma ( member #59646) posted at 9:51 PM on Thursday, September 28th, 2017
That I would be done with the marriage as soon as I found out.
That my WW would never cheat
That I would beat the hell out of the AP. (My adult daughter talked me out of this)
That cheaters always went for someone better looking or with more money.
Me-BS-50
WW-45
5 PA (one with a female) since 2007. Sexting with about 15 guys since 2007.
1 DS 26, 1 DD 24
1 DGD born 5/22/17
Married 21 years
Together 27 years
Dday 5/30/17
BallofPain ( member #49165) posted at 6:25 AM on Friday, September 29th, 2017
-That the whole thing would roll off me like water on a duck. It more or less rolled over me, backed up, rolled over me again, went forward to finish the job
-That it would be so easy to walk away. It really wasn't
-That the people who stayed are desperate idiots. I am so very sorry that I ever thought that.
The worst misconception of all: I thought I was tougher than this.
[This message edited by BallofPain at 12:28 AM, September 29th (Friday)]
ISurvived7734 ( member #60205) posted at 9:33 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2017
In no particular order:
-That I would instantly walk out and divorce my wife if she cheated
-That "good girls" got all the sex they wanted from their husband.
-That a "good girl" would never turn into a slut - even for a few weeks.
My deepest disappointment is that I didn't instantly end the marriage.
"I always look both ways when crossing a one-way street. That's how much faith I have in humanity..."
WilliamM ( member #60910) posted at 9:37 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2017
My only misconception was that women rarely had affairs. I know now that is not true.
foolishfairytale ( new member #60650) posted at 10:19 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2017
I think my misconception was that good people could wander or be affair partners. I wanted to believe that they were just damaged and that's why they were messing up, but deep down inside they want to be good people. Now I know that some people really, really don't care about being good. They just like hurting people and being selfish and narcissistic.
And I didn't think this because I hadn't faced pain in the world. I've faced a lot and I've also met a lot of bad people. But I just thought for some reason people only cheated because they were damaged. Not from the betrayed spouse, but from their past.
And while we are dealing with my husband's past and all that, I still feel like him cheating and the woman he cheated with are inherent character flaws. That I have now faced worse rejection and pain in life than either of them and it isn't making me a narcissistic cheater like them. You have to be kind of evil inside to stoop that low.
foolishfairytale ( new member #60650) posted at 10:20 PM on Monday, October 30th, 2017
That cheaters always went for someone better looking or with more money.
This! For sure! I thought it was all about lust or advancing in life or whatever, then I saw the affair partner my husband chose and I went,"WTF? WOW! He cheated with HER?!"
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