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vatoloco posted 5/31/2017 23:10 PM

I just need to add thanks for the update. One more question just out of curiosity, he told you about his affair with the Spanish dancer, etc. Continued to lie in general lines? regards

YHGTBKM posted 5/31/2017 23:11 PM


she is doing really well. This vacation has been a great daddy-daughter time together. We love Maui and all it has to offer, and this time we cut out 3 days for Kauai which is new.

She is strong person. I explained that life is about opening and closing doors and phases, this is about her mom closing a door but it opened one for her and I to grow closer. I also told her that phases in our lifetime are not always pleasant but we always grow from them.

She said that she wants me to be happy and even tried to be match maker.

Sanibelredfish posted 5/31/2017 23:21 PM

Your WW's cynicism is remarkable, and your resolve is admirable. Best wishes for a quick resolution to an M that has clearly run its course.

As an aside, I find it interesting that her friend is still willingly providing information. I'd guess there is more to that story, and that it is not fit for public consumption.

Anyway, again, I hope you come out of this shitfest for the better.

WhatElseToDo posted 5/31/2017 23:21 PM

Wow, she's really got a pair of balls to think she can just seduce you into getting past this immense betrayal. Is she just not a very nice person? Not saying they're wrong but it kind of surprises me that her friends are willing to give you so much information. Makes me think that they aren't too fond of her, even separate from how she has treated you.

Aside from all of the bullshit.. how are you? You seem like a pretty put-together person, but most of us are reduced to puddles by our respective betrayals.. Just wondering how you're handling things now that the dust has settled.

YHGTBKM posted 5/31/2017 23:22 PM


Part of the agreement is that my STBEXW cannot sell the condo and no one can move it with her.

In fact any stay that meets the state requirement of common-law, would result in forfeiture.

She gets an unfurnished condo that she cannot sell, no car, no credit, no spousal maintenance, no child care, no job and no prospects. I also wrote out the retirement top up and payment for training.

I come out of this very well.

YHGTBKM posted 5/31/2017 23:29 PM


Her "friend" and I dated prior to our meeting and marrying. Her friend was disgusted with her behavior and refused to be complicit.

YHGTBKM posted 5/31/2017 23:34 PM


She thinks that I fell in love with her once, then I can fall in love with her again.

She underestimates my importance of trust, which is gone, along with any feelings I have for her. I literally feel nothing for her, she is a non-person to me.

Stevesn posted 5/31/2017 23:38 PM

Have you read her account yet? Did she mention what happened to her on the plane and if they stayed together on the trip?

Sanibelredfish posted 5/31/2017 23:38 PM

I see; glad to hear you've got folks looking out for you, and that you planned ahead to protect yourself if the worst happened.

She's going to be a bitter XW for sure. Too bad she didn't realize that she could have avoided her soon to be lot in life by "somehow" keeping Rico Suave out of her lady parts...

M1965 posted 6/1/2017 03:46 AM


There are so many sad stories in this forum of good people being crushed by the selfish actions of others that yours stands out like a rare beacon of light, where justice actually happened, and a cheater's world imploded, rather than that of their victim.

What is so heartening to read is how the whole experience has brought you and your daughter closer together. A bond like that will last a lifetime, and is priceless. As you told your daughter, that has been the big positive thing to come out of all this, and I am happy for both of you that it has happened.

Your wife wanted a doubled payment rather than the condo (with all of its 'strings' and conditions)? Wow, she really is just out for money, isn't she? It sounds like you have really done your groundwork well, as what you are offering is fair, but obviously nothing like the champagne lifestyle your STBXW thinks she is entitled to.

One thing to be careful of is your wife trying to manipulate your daughter and use her as a bargaining chip. It would be nice to think she wouldn't do that, but let's face it, she has shown her true colours, and all she cares about is herself. Having said that, I think your daughter is bright and feisty enough to fend off any attempts at manipulation by her Mom, but I still think there will be some (particularly if your STBXW sees any financial advantage to it).

Oh, and do be careful not to be seduced!

Sorry, couldn't help that. Who does your STBXW think she is, Mata Hari???? I wonder what colour the sky is on her home planet.

Take care, YHGTBKM. I am sending my best wishes to you and your daughter; you make a great team, and it is obvious she gets her character from you.

Trtroles posted 6/1/2017 05:33 AM

It is still all about her,what she wants,what she needs ...

Did she even told you she was sorry ?

You deserve much better.

Sharkman posted 6/1/2017 06:02 AM

Let her keep thinking that she can manipulate you. Put on the show of the century for her to keep her delusion high. Your only goal is to get to the finish lime with your relationship with your daughter intact and her not getting one penny more than she is legally entitled to.

M1965 posted 6/1/2017 07:35 AM

"Let her keep thinking that she can manipulate you. Put on the show of the century for her to keep her delusion high. Your only goal is to get to the finish lime with your relationship with your daughter intact and her not getting one penny more than she is legally entitled to."

Sharkman makes an interesting point. You are in a position to keep your STBXW dangling until such time as you choose to cut all ties. As long as she thinks she has to play nice as part of her 'seduce him back' plan, she won't try anything aggressive (though her options for doing anything are, admittedly, very limited).

ozzy posted 6/1/2017 07:56 AM

I so wish now that I would have done the big shock and awe reveal when I found about the affair. I confronted my husband, but I regret not making it a more dramatic event. My heart was breaking and I think he got off too easily by not making a big production out of it. But the bottom line is that you take care of yourself and your finances. Try to be rational and don't let your emotions get in the way. I have been too emotional, and have not made the best financial decisions! Good luck and keep us posted.

twisted posted 6/1/2017 08:52 AM

Thanks for the update for all of us that have been following.
It appears your daughter takes after you, thank God. She has also been a witness to another of life's lesson, and she is fortunate to have you to guide her through, and you have her.

Good luck.

breadfruit1 posted 6/1/2017 12:51 PM

Thanks for the update. Keep focused, stay the course and continue to make your daughter your priority, she is all you have at the moment and it is obvious that in her own way she is being supportive.

It is amazing that your STBXW has the gall to think she could have an affair and that after all she would be able to seduce you and walk right back in your good graces and the marriage and live happily after. How presumptuous and disrespectful of her. She threw everything away for a cheap sexual fix with a loser a man (boy toy) who has nothing to offer her now . He is probably on to his next fun. I guess this is what they describe when a WS "affair down".

Western posted 6/1/2017 13:23 PM

good job, Y. Way to step to the plate The gall of her, amazing ....

Western posted 6/1/2017 13:23 PM

and kudos to her friend who has shown good morals and adherence to the truth. Thank God you had her on your side

[This message edited by Western at 1:24 PM, June 1st (Thursday)]

wk55hn posted 6/1/2017 13:54 PM

What happened to Carlos?

BrokenheartedUK posted 6/1/2017 14:13 PM

I think Sharkman makes a good point too.

Hilarious oblivion.

aka deeply delusional. She still thinks she can play a "get out of jail free" card and the penny hasn't dropped that she can't. But... it will. And hold on tight because my guess is that she'll go guns blazing at your DD in an effort to get to you.

Whatever the delusional behavior that gets a WS into the A in the first place, is the exact same thing that keeps them in that place for a while. Sometimes the Wss get it, often they don't, but one way or another the wheels eventually come off the bus. And things can get pretty ugly at that point.

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