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Have a good time this weekend...and since everyone going knows whats up, then her getting spanked wont be to weird.

I mean I'm wired different then most ....and like to think out side the box...but putting my old lady over my knee helped me and her.

Consequence are healthy to face, especially when it comes to trust and you DNA her kid to confirm who the dad is (that shyt stings a mother). The polygraph is another one...how bad did a wayward phuck up that they have to face a lie detecter for your spouse to trust you.

Granted your old lady is wearing the scarlet letter...but having to pull her panties down and get spanked by their spouse adds to the submission it takes to "do what ever it take to fix this"...

It helped me heal...but again I'm wired different then most.

[This message edited by TheGuy123 at 7:08 PM, July 17th (Monday)]

So it as been a couple months, we have been in IC and MC. She still owns this and shows remorse. There is transparency in all electronics/communications.

She did receive a text from from someone whom she had been texting months ago. It was a simple "Hey" She told me she got the text, showed me her phone and said she did not know whom it was (She had deleted all contacts when I found out about stuff so it simply showed up as a number from out of state)

She reversed googled the number and did not see a name but did see a city. She told me whom she thought it was. She handed me her phone and I stuck it in my pocket.

After the kids were in bed, we discussed it. She asked me what I wanted her to do (Block/Message back never to contact/ etc) I told her I wanted to know what SHE wanted to do. She said she wanted to message to never contact her again, and block the number. I agreed, and she did.

She has been putting forth effort, We are communicating better. We have had some good times. Done some outings, hiking etc. The big family vacation went well, we had the opportunity to get away and spend some time alone.

Things seem good , but then reality sets in. I think about her with another man. Lying to me, doing things behind my back. It makes me physically sick. I want it to work, she seems to genuinely want it to work. I wonder if it's enough. If I mention my doubts even in the slightest. She falls apart.

It's only been a matter of months. So I am waiting to see how it continues to go.

Great news. I'm glad to hear it!

Thanks for the update NoTrust.

There is transparency in all electronics/communications.

She did receive a text from from someone whom she had been texting months ago.

I'm surprised you kept the same number. Not second guessing that. Pros and cons. What matters is that it works for you.

I went through he same shyt a few months in. You guys have a ways to go, but its been my experience that once the wayward stops all contact and in time the low lifes will figure out your old lady isn't game anymore.

Personally its not even worth a reply, I think its best served to ignore any more fishing attempts from any POS that tries to make contact.

Again you guys are are just coming out of this shyt storm.... years from now it will be a lot different.

I remember a few months after d day my old lady presented me with this same issues with regards to the OM's fjshing and my chick replied with the NC reply and it was just a trigger...we worked through it, but on the hand it was healthy to see her transparency and on the other hand it was after all a trigger.

Back in the day...she gets an unknown numder...its just an unknown number... it's mentioned.. but never replied to.

I'm glad to hear that you are doing well and she is being transparent. Do u have access to everything?

Keep talking. Communication is the key of course.

Does she answer all your questions? Does she say she's in it now for the long haul? I know it's just words but are they the right words?

Does she say why she chose to stay and why she thinks she can be happy staying?

If I mention my doubts even in the slightest. She falls apart.

Does her distress over you expressing your feelings seem legit? Or does it seem manipulative? Do you stop talking about your doubts when she turns on the tears?

No, it does not seem manipulative. She does answer all of my questions. And there has been no questionable or discrepancies in the answers. Mt doubts at this point don't really lie in her promises/intent right now. More in how I am feeling over the situation. My doubts are weather I can move on and stay in the relationship, more than weather she is willing to. She has destroyed what we had, and rebuilding it is hard...

Have you had her tell her friend's husband about her friends activities?

I would want to know.

They have since dissolutioned the marriage..

You will read here that it takes two to five years to get even to the point of a stable marriage. Why? Cause it is Fu*king hard.

Even in the best case you will have a bumpy ride. She is doing herself no good by falling apart when you want to address it. She is still making it about her when she does this.

It is natural for you to have doubts. You wouldn't be human if you didn't.