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I feel like there is a gorilla sitting on my chest.

I'm a wreck today.

I implemented the 180 yesterday/today. I told her that she needed to find a place for her dog, and if she was moving out, then she needed to get the rest of her things; that I'm not going to be a storage shed for her.

She got incredibly mad about the dog and accused me of "trying to hurt her." I said that I wasn't trying to hurt her, and she screamed "Shut the fuck up!"

I hung up the phone then. I've had no communication with her until a bit ago when I texted her that she had some mail. So far, I've gotten no response.

Am I being out of line about the dog? Her things?

No, you weren't out of line to me. You clearly stated where your boundaries lay and she didn't like them.

NO! you are out of line. ABSOLUTLEY NOT!! She just didn't like that you set boundaries and are holding to them.

WS don't like that much it seems, when we the BS are not acting or doing what they think we should.

Be strong and hold your boundaries!!!!

She thinks she can get angry and you'll back down. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

I'm praying for you.

Sorry, I meant to say:

You are NOT out of line.

No you're not out of bounds wanting her belongings out of your home, including her dog. Don't give her an excuse to interrupt your peace whenever she wants to drop by to pick something up. Don't even give her the courtesy of letting her know she has mail there, let her get it forwarded to her new address.

Stay strong, and do not let her mindfuck you. She pulled the plug on your marriage without warning, so you are not obligation to make her transition easy, and you should not shoulder all of the pain caused by her actions.

I would have her stuff bagged up on the porch and the locks changed...she left, she needs to stay gone.

BS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:25 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

Don't even give her the courtesy of letting her know she has mail there, let her get it forwarded to her new address.

exactly...that's the 180.

She texted tonight to ask why I changed the Netflix password (I pay for the account). I told her that "You don't want to be with me, so it's not my job to ensure you're entertained anymore."

Was that too nasty?

[This message edited by MisterUsed at 9:39 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

No, you weren't too harsh. It sounds to me like she's been trying to be a cake eater. You don't need to be nasty and petty, which I don't think you were, but you need to be firm. I would suggest you let her know what the boundaries are so she can work within a stable framework. Remember, be uninvolved with a smile .

Nope, not nasty at all.

Remember this, it was her decision to abandon the marriage. She shouldn't expect any perks or comforts from the husband that she just dumped.

At this point, you do not owe her squat, not even conversation. In keeping with the purpose of the 180, you should only communicate with her on matters pertaining to splitting assets or divorce. These continued exchanges via text, or phone calls, will only serve to keep you from detaching.

You don't want to be with me, so it's not my job to ensure you're entertained anymore."

No need to keep pointing this out, she knows it, you know it, pointing it out is almost like trying to guilt trip besides pointing out the obvious.

You're two grown ass people, she's cheated and left. Unless it's about finances or the dog or getting her stuff, stop all communications with her and stop the nice guy "I have to justify every single thing I do even though she cheated"

Cancel everything.

Tell her she has 1 week to come and collect her stuff and her dog.

You do not owe her anything. Limit communication with her, the less you talk to her the better for you to move on.

Never feel guilty pulling the 180.

Period.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 3:56 AM, August 23rd (Wednesday)]

Thanks, everyone. You have no idea how helpful you've been.

BS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:01 PM, September 6th (Wednesday)]

No you are not out of line, at all.

She is being mean and abusive.

As hard as it is...NC

She can figure out she might have mail there.

Stand your ground for you.

(((big hugs)))

About the 180, she ain't gonna like it.

That's the point, to make her uncomfortable.

let her get it forwarded to her new address.

Yes!

Pay for her Netflix? She has to be joking!

She hasn't figured out she on her own now.

[This message edited by twisted at 8:34 AM, August 23rd (Wednesday)]

She just called me (from a number I didn't recognize so I picked up).

She asked me why I wouldn't keep the dog. I said, "You moved out. Your problems are your problems."

Her response, "So you're a sorry son of a bitch?"

I hung up then.

God, I hate this.

"You moved out. Your problems are your problems."

Hah! You da Man!