SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Chamomiletea, love your suggestion "I don't invite evil into my life".

cancuncrushed I love what you wrote.

Oneofthesame~ I'm sorry you are going through that, that's sound hard to deal with.

LALAGIRL~ No he is not in IC says I can't force him and it's something he will do when he "finds the courage" to do. We have gone to MC on two separate occasions and he was still seeing his AP. I am not sure I want to go a third time.

Chamomiletea~ thank you for that amazing advice, I will try it.

No mercy~ thank you, it was hard to hear but I have to keep my eyes open.

Silverlinins~ I'm a girl and I'm aggressive trust me I want to hurt her.

Thank you all. I hate that we are here but I don't feel so alone and insane.

The AP I'm obsessing over does not have an online presence. Trust me, I've searched everywhere. I've seen her pictures through her coworkers' social media posts (although not a lot!) but I get so frustrated that I can't see her shitty vacation pictures online or what shitty food she's eating or her poor family that has to deal with her. I just want to stalk her and hate on her and maybe it'll make me feel better. Probably not healthy but my problem is oppostie of yours. There is not enough I know about the AP and it kills me.

I've texted her a few times, only to say to stay away from my WS or to find another job. She didn't respond. Felt like an idiot.

Here's what the BS's here obsess about the AP.

"T/J Top 5 AP related obsessions ? Dday till now "

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=605908

Why are you obsessing?

Bc your WH is telling you through his actions and words that he’s not interested in repairing the damage. You need to just forget about it and let it go. It’s like a bully stealing your milk money and when you get angry, he says, “what are you going to do about it?”

He has you over a barrel. He knows you’re not going to stick up for yourself and will just take his bullshit. So you need to process/vent your emotions somehow.

Are you going to just accept his shit? We only get one spin on this short ride we call life. Go find yourself a better forever.

[This message edited by KingRat at 12:11 PM, September 28th (Thursday)]

No he is not in IC says I can't force him and it's something he will do when he "finds the courage" to do. We have gone to MC on two separate occasions and he was still seeing his AP. I am not sure I want to go a third time.

No, you can't force him. You can't change him. You can't fix him.

Neither can MC. And he knows it. It's a waste of money, sweetie. I think deep down you know this - I know it's a hard pill to swallow. Don't bother with MC.

your WH is telling you through his actions and words that he’s not interested in repairing the damage. You need to just forget about it and let it go. It’s like a bully stealing your milk money and when you get angry, he says, “what are you going to do about it?”

He has you over a barrel. He knows you’re not going to stick up for yourself and will just take his bullshit. So you need to process/vent your emotions somehow.

Unfortunately I agree.

I know this is off topic from your original post. You have every right to be upset at AP. But when you're ready, and I hope that's sooner than later, it's time to lace up the bitch boots, get thee to an attorney, find out your rights, and knock his fence-sitting ass off of the proverbial fence. You only get one life...I know you don't want to live it this way forever.

Huge hugs...

I did this for months. A month ago I made myself block myself in every way I could from searching for her or her family to find pics, info, anything. I deleted the pics I'd send my WH 100x in a row when I was angry (kinda like, oh now you don't want to think about her...too bad! Look, MFer!). I cried over it. A lot. But I can honestly tell you since I made myself quit, I feel better. I still have the desire to look 1-2x a week, but I don't let myself--using tools from IC. I hated and wasted energy she did not deserve; she's trash. She deserves nothing from me, not even my hatred. Your OW doesn't deserve your time, either. It's hard to do this, and I'm still SO far from being better or reconciled, but truly, stopping myself from spending time hunting for info on her has been a gift to myself and a helpful step forward in this marathon I'm running!