SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yeah, I just need to get away from her ASAP. She is just toxic to me. I don't even know if we can be civil at this point. I never should have tried to work this out. I should have just pulled the trigger to D last year.

I think I wasted a year of recovery time and thousands of dollars trying to work this out when that was never going to happen in reality.

Just scheduled a date for mediation 3/31. It's official, we are divorcing.

Good Luck for New Life without infidelity

I hope you will find a good faithful beautiful wife who will love you and respect you.

Thank You! I admit this is extremely hard to do and I'm very nervous/anxious about my future now.

Good Luck Sir

I cannot help but say that this divorce is a good thing for you. She can't grasp what her despicable behavior has done. Once again, I pray you find the woman of your dreams, may she surpass your ex in every way. May she be wealthy, drop dead gorgeous and a sex fiend for you and you alone. AND, may she make you children, so that one fine day, your ex will have the shit fit of a lifetime when she spots you, your gorgeous wife, and beautiful baby strolling down the street and getting into your new Mercedes. While she is in a dingy rental apartment, fucking her new guy who is significantly older and can't completely get it up, and to add insult to injury, she finds out she is barren. Yup, I am an asshole.

That would be the ultimate revenge right? A life best lived...

I could only dream of finding a woman like that but it's a wonderful fantasy to have.

To everyone who suggested for me to get into IC thank you! It's been the best thing to help me navigate this shit-storm so far. My therapist is awesome, (maybe too awesome?) she has given me great perspective on my future and how toxic my WW really is to my happiness. She gave me a pretty good ego boost too (said I was intelligent, young, handsome, funny, good career, financially stable, thoughtful, responsible and a "good catch"). This weekend I finally decided to allow myself forget about the past and truly just take things day to day and focus on my new life.

She suggested I just get a dog for companionship and to be an icebreaker to meet new people. I talked to my mom after my appt on Friday and by Saturday she had already found a dog for me! That really got me excited about finding my own place and moving on with the next chapter of my life.

I've also stopped showing any anger or bitterness towards WW. I'm done feeling bad about anything. I'm not giving her anymore of my headspace. She just isn't worth it in the grand scheme of things.

Thank you everyone with your help, suggestions and incite. I haven't felt this hopeful and optimistic in a very long time.

Cut off all contact except for D or business. No phone calls. Limit it to text or email. That's your best path right now.

Cutting off all contact is nearly impossible while we are still living in the same house. I do limit text responses. We are cleaning up the house and dividing assets at the same time so we need to communicate about these things. Personally I find it easier just to be amicable now than starting a war.

We both found places to stay and will be moving out in 3 weeks.

After we are in our new places and the house sells then it's back to mediation to discuss the division of the proceeds and other money. That's where the real fight will be.

Skins I thought she gave you the proceeds of the house?

.....you know what, I thought so too...

Apparently her IC told her she's entitled to half of everything and has now decided she wants to fight about that with me.

Also she then told me that was only on the condition we separated and not divorced. I guess getting divorced was not an option to her.

She really likes entitlement!

Just another reason to get everything in writing. She literally told me it was unfair that I would get to keep the proceeds from the sale of the house.

I reminded her that I paid for down payment with my money earned before the marriage, it was my idea to purchase a home and picked out the location.

I reminded her that a few weeks after we moved in she started having OM over for sex, lunch, naps and playtime with the dog. I told her she basically used the house I bought so she could play fantasy land with her boyfriend.

I told her that wasn't fair to me and it's her fault I can't even live there now and we have to sell.

She's so far from reality that I don't think we can even communicate effectively anymore. I don't see any other way around this issue than seeing the mediator. Or I could just say fuck it and hire a shark lawyer who will take the money instead.

My IC thinks she's mentally unstable and the closer to divorce we get the more she is unraveling and acting desperate. She's been right so far...

Have you talked to an attorney about what the law requires?

Yes, I know its a 50/50 split for marital assets unless you work our your own agreement and the court thinks it's fair. usually a 65/35 split is allowable if both parties agree.

Life is so fucked up. 2 weeks after I found out about WW's affair my dad died. Fast forward to this week. We just started mediation, are both moving out next weekend and put the house on the market. On last Friday the 13th her father passed away unexpectedly. Life is just cruel and handed us both more than we can even mentally process.

It's hard not have compassion for her now because I know exactly what she's going through. She's gone for the week in OH for the funeral while I'm left packing up the house on my own. Fun times.

I do finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next Saturday I will be moved into my own condo!!!

Sorry man. Life is cruel and hard. However, your life will improve drastically once you get your own place!

Bro hugs skins!

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 2:18 PM, April 18th (Wednesday)]

I hope my life improves at some point. The last year or so has been hell and torture.

I do like my new place and think that will work out. I just need to get a social life and find some friends. Why is that so damn difficult?

Why is that so damn difficult?

This was a big concern of mine shortly after Dday. In addition to getting a GF.

However, now I kinda enjoy my alone time. I like that I can do and go how I please. No one to answer to. No one to get pissed at me. I can just do what makes me happy. Selfish??????.....probably, but you know what? After the shit I went through with Infidelity, Divorce, and an Unremorseful XWW....I think I’m allowed to be selfish.

Don’t stress about your “social life” skins. Just enjoy life for now and breath deep! You are now FREE!

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 3:23 PM, April 18th (Wednesday)]

How long did you wait until you started dating again? My therapist has already told me to sign up for OLD and go to singles meetup groups. It seems really soon for that but I also would like to start having fun with some classy woman.

Life isn't fair, but we can make the best if what we've got, or at least I'm told. Won't it be good to have time to yourself, though?