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smokenfire ( member #5217) posted at 6:28 PM on Thursday, March 8th, 2018
t/j
The friend thing KILLS me utterly.
Why the hell would I want a disloyal, selfish, manipulative person in my life????
I left you for a reason, no thanks to friendship.
Don't food shop when hungry, or date when you're lonely
How others treat you IS a reflection of your SELF worth, but not your actual WORTH.
LilBlackCat (original poster member #57470) posted at 6:40 PM on Thursday, March 8th, 2018
She's not my friend, and as soon as this divorce is finalized I will be damned if I ever talk to her about anything but our kids ever again.
Thats her consequences for cheating on me repeatedly, and all the shit she put our kids through. I gave everything I had for 22 years and she shit all over it and told lies about me to people.
I dont keep her secrets, and wont tell lies to cover her anymore.
This is exactly where I am with things right now... I am looking to file for D in May and a lot has been going through my mind.. more like confirmations of what I am going to do, more than anything.
The friend thing KILLS me utterly
I just can't do it and wont do it... I pretend for the time being.. but that will end after the D is final. I'm allowed to be fake as well..
Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.
Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 9:42 PM on Thursday, March 8th, 2018
I am not sure who these people are come up with these rules. Why shouldn’t you hold a grudge? She wrecked your marriage, She damaged her husband and children. People hold grudges forever. It is human nature. It does not mean you can’t find someone else to love. It does not mean your children have to be miserable. What it does mean is that you were done a terrible wrong and you are really ticked off about it and will always be ticked off about it.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
SallyShrink81 ( member #50219) posted at 2:09 AM on Friday, March 9th, 2018
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick/die.
What function does holding a grudge serve? I held onto it and it ate me up. I literally got sick one day. It was awful. Also with two young kiddos (3.5 and 7) having them see me treat their dad with bitterness wasn’t healthy for anyone. Will I be friends with XWH? Hell no! But I will actively work to let go of such toxic emotions as they come up. When I see him now I see him for the sad broken little man child he is. So I’m mostly at meh because I don’t want to be that person.
FBS now surviving and thriving
2 kiddos born 2011 & 2014
"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma
SuperDaddy1027 ( member #59344) posted at 5:58 PM on Monday, March 12th, 2018
having them see me treat their dad with bitterness wasn’t healthy for anyone. Will I be friends with XWH? Hell no!
Being civil and being friends are 2 completely different things for me. I am civil towards XWW bc of my kids. But I am not friends with her (and never will be) because of me. I put a good act on when I’m around XWW (which is not very often). But I still only talk about the kids. Its just safer that way for me. She fired me from being her husband or friend. She doesn’t deserve to know “how I feel or what I think” unless it has something to do with the kids.
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