SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sorry you are in this terrible situation.

Immediately get with a lawyer and get your child support in place before the ow does.

Regarding the OC... absolutely I don’t give a crap 💩 she should have been on birth control and he should have worn a condom.

I would have to him she needed to get an abortion in order to stay with me but that too late. So I would not allow him to see or have any contact with either ow or oc. That would be a deal breaker and I would divorce as well.

Duplicate posts

[This message edited by Hurtbeyondtime at 7:19 PM, March 11th (Sunday)]

i gave up my entire family for him because my mom and family said its hubby or them and chose my marriage... and today i am all alone with my kids I have no support...

TripleQ,

Why did your family make you choose between them and your WH? Is the relationship non-mendable?

I'm so sorry you are here. My XWS's mistress pretended to be pregnant and then pretended she'd had his baby on FB. Taught me a very valuable lesson, not to pain shop her FB. Anyway, it was definitely a deal breaker. Even after I found out about the lie, I was done. YOU know what you can put up with. Do not let anyone guilt you into anything you don't desire.

Most folks, both men and women, are done when an OC is in the mix. Very few people can accept that kind of humiliation and disrespect and come back from it. If you are going to file, I suggest you do so ASAP. This woman is already filing for CS which may mean less for your children if you procrastinate.

I concur with the others, he is no victim. He knows where babies come from, and he knows that even if doctors say you cannot get pregnant, there's still that chance. Besides, he also knows how STDs get transmitted and he took zero precautions against infecting you. Putting my life at risk would be the biggest deal breaker for me..and it was.

Be gentle with yourself. You may find, later, that you can tolerate the OC, with specific boundaries, that's ok too. Just don't feel guilty if you cannot.

Oh Yes like others said make sure to get paternity tests done asap. It could be someone else child since she’s such a loser sleeping around.

And she chose to keep the baby so your husband isn’t required to be involved or a father. She decided to get pregnant and keep the baby. So it’s on her and only her. And one more thing she’s going to be a terrible mother anyway if she is the way she is.. no morals have an affair with a married man. So she’s the one who is going to ruin that child not because he doesn’t know his father.

There are plenty of kids that grew up with a single mom that are well adjusted and never knew their father.

So don’t let her or her threats using her child. She’s going to do what she can but it’s not your or your husbands responsibility.

I would send a NC letter and get with an attorney so that she leave you and your family alone.

My daughter came home last night and told me his mother and sister invited the woman over. They waited for hubby and I to leave then contacted her. And she came rushing over. Where I would normally freak out I just cried. I am fighting for my marriage every single day and his family sabotages where they can not thinking of the repercussions. My husband was furious he was really angry and apologised over n over for their actions. I want a court order to keep her away from us. I told hubby if he wants contact with kid then I want a divorce. He chose his marriage as he has been doing for a while now. My hubby has great remorse n regret and I can see all this weighs heavy on him. But I'm going to remain selfish and I'm going to focus on us and our family. If I'm not healed then he will wait til I'm healed. I can't fight this much for my marriage and reap noth ing... Irrespective of what he did, I love him unconditionally and I want us to be better than before.

Hi TripleQ, It’s clear you are in a lot of pain. I’m so sorry for the pain your WH has brought you.

It may be too soon, but at some point you are going to have to accept that your WH has another child. You have every right to be angry and sad and hurt and everything else you are feeling. Both your WH and his AP have done this to you, but they have done this to their child too. I know the child is a trigger for you, but the child is just as much a victim as you. And your WH does have responsibilities to his child. The child has a father and that is your WH. The child can’t just “get another dad.” I know this isn’t what you want to hear. I know you just want to be “selfish” and focus on you and your children. You have every right to do that, but your WH does not. He can, of course, continue to be selfish, but he does have responsibilities to the child whether he chooses to step up to them or not. He is not a victim. He had an A, and these are the natural consequences. He needs to deal with them.

If you cannot deal with the consequences (which are so unfair to you), there is no shame in that. An OC is so hard and maybe a dealbreaker. That’s not on you. But if you want to stay with you WH, I think you need to find a way to accept. That doesn’t mean you have to see the child, but if your WH is going to be a better person (one deserving of you), your WH is going to have to have some involvement to make sure his responsibilities are met.

I truly wish you the best and much healing.

You are in an impossible situation.

The child will be a constant trigger for you. But your husband should also be a responsible person and not treat the child like crap and not have a relationship with it.

The child will already grow up with several issues when it discovers it was a child of an affair.

You have to be realistic. Consult an attorney and see what your options are. Your husband not using protection is an absolute disgrace really.

TripleQ

Good for you .. stand your ground and tell the mother and sister they are no longer welcome in your house.

They went around your back and they are Toxic.

You need to separate yourself from all these toxic people and move forward. And again no One can tell you he has to have a relationship with the OC. It’s not your problem and he can pay support if it’s His and that’s his contribution nothing more.

She will eventually find another sucker and get pregnant..not your issue and not WH either.

You tell him what you need to R otherwise bye bye.

Stand Strong 💪

I’m sorry you are going through this. Such an unbelievable betrayal. I agree with Morph and metoohurt. Gently, he made that child...he has to be responsible for the child. If he does not, he is a deadbeat father and not an individual worthy of respect. You, however, are NOT responsible for the child. It’s still early, but ultimately this may be a dealbreaker for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. He is just as guilty as she is. She lied about ovulation and fertility, but he’s the idiot who ejaculated in her unprotected. Putting you and your infant at risk of deadly STDs. You certainly have been served a double heaping of the shit sandwich. Please make sure you safeguard your children immediately in terms of child support.

Ultimately if you are a Rowe vs Wade proponent you that the woman decides what to do with her body and pregnancy.

TripleQ husband might have provided the sperm but under false pretense and lies by the ow.

Therefore it’s no longer his responsibility if the OW chose to continue with the pregnancy and give birth to the child. That’s sooo on her. He won’t be a deadbeat dad because he was not involved in the decision of keeping or termination of the pregnancy.

So both of you can walk away and you need to tell that to the lawyer about any child support incase he is the father. Again Faske pretense and her getting pregnant to catch herself a husband.. see what the law can do to minimize support. These low life women are leaches and belligerent women who feel entitled...they shouldn’t be paid a dime.

Protect you and your child first over anything else.