SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not sure where i’d Get a polygraph in London.

no soliciting

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:37 AM, March 17th (Saturday)]

Not sure where to even start with finding a polygraph in London.

I don’t know how I’d feel about sex. I don’t think I can be anymore hurt or feel any more revolted by their betrayal and behaviour.

Sorry I wasn’t soliciting just stating a fact polygraphs aren’t a common tool over here. It isn’t something that is obviously around.

I'm very sorry about this situation. Your husband and former BFF sound like dreadful people. I'm very sorry that you are facing this.

I have only one piece of advice, get a divorce. Move on with your life. These people are not your friends and cheaters know exactly what they do and why they do it. They like attention, they feel entitled and they really do not care who gets hurt in the process. Let them go and move on with your children to a cheater-free life.

I wish you the best. And make sure you see a lawyer, pronto.

That no soliciting editing wasn't for you Scream, a post was trying to con you into going to a hacker site. They squeak past us sometimes and we just edit it out and ban the fraud. We don't want any of our members to fall victim to a con artist.

My H had an EA and I used to agonize on whether or not it was a PA. I too decided that it didn't really matter - my heart had been ripped in two and my marriage decimated. The only reason it would matter would be by the fact my H was still lying. They say it's not the affair that kills a marriage but the continual lies.

Because it might be possible your H and former friend might be lying - you should definitely get checked for STD's. HPV can go undetected and lead to cancer. Tell your doctor everything and be tested for everything - just in case.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:27 PM, March 17th (Saturday)]

I’m not worried about std’s the only contraception I can use is a condom so we haven’t had unprotected sex. I asked her on DDay whether she had been tested because of her history and her husbands use of prostitutes and ONS.

Update on my life since DDay.

So WS has agreed to a vasectomy - been for the appointments and consultation and is waiting for a date. This is something we have talked about since our youngest was born. I don't do pregnant very well and because of this I have restrictions on the type of contraception I can use. We are limited to condoms. He always used to say 'but if we split up I might want more kids with someone else'. He thought it was funny - I didn't.

The vasectomy was something he offered to do without hesitation when asking me for a second chance.

He has given me everything I've asked for - we are communicating really well. He is much more in tune with my emotions.

I had a moment the other day. One of my oldest friends and the first proper boyfriend of the AP asked me how the AP was.

The shaking started, my heart started pounding and I felt faint. I though I had how to handle these questions sorted.

I told him I didn't have anything to do with them anymore and he immediately knew something was wrong.

He and his wife spilt after he found out about multiple affairs, he has know about one of the other married men AP had where she pretended to be friendly with the wife.

I told him - he was so upset for me and disgusted with her.

I really wanted him to be on my side.

I have been so conflicted on how to handle things like this. I want to be the better person to be dignified but I aslo want the world to see just how vile she is.

She has had affairs with 3 married men and pretended to be friends with their wives - prior to her marriage she also had an affair with a man whose longterm girlfriend was pregnant with their 3rd child. How was I ever friends with this ho!

Have been through our digital pictures and either deleted pictures of her or cut her out all together. It was painful, she was my maid of honour. This led me to thinking about how my husband never actually did the whole romantic proposal and I stopped wearing my engagment ring.

WS noticed before our last MC and he was really upset. It terrified him.

MC session - Counsellor asked if I felt that I might be bulling WS. If I was using the affair as a weapon. No shit sherlock! I've lived with so much shit for so long he owes me!

We also discussed my distrust of what they say happened. The counsellor help me by pointing out that they maynot have had intercourse but they did have sex. AP probably knew about our use of vibrators and she used this to take more from me. That from what I have discribed about our life long friendship she was constantly taking from me.If they couldn't have intercourse then she used this as a proxy and it really amounts to the same thing.

I spoke to my priest as I don't want to be resentful, angry or vindictive. A part of telling our friend was a bit about revenge.

By taking off my ring I wanted him to understand that he killed our marriage and it doesn't exist as it did anymore.

I feel better - I haven't though about it quite as much as I was. I feel safer in our Mariage and hopeful for the future

She has had affairs with 3 married men and pretended to be friends with their wives - prior to her marriage she also had an affair with a man whose longterm girlfriend was pregnant with their 3rd child. How was I ever friends with this ho!

Wow she has some serious issues. Sounds like she has to take something from her friends. Probably makes her feel better about herself as she likely feels inferior to them all. I think if I had mutual friends with her I would let them know what she is like. You know of 3 affairs with friend's wives but there are likely more. She needs to be jettisoned from your social circle and the rest of the wives need to find out if she has come on to their husbands and what has happened. It seems likely she has.

Scream,

I to took off my ring, after d day. Your therapist is good in telling you they did have sex.

I am assuming you had std testing. If not please do so.

What a horrible betrayal.

Thescreaminside, I just googled "polygraph examiner London, UK" and found a ton of them. It's that simple. There's even a training academy for it in London. It's so much more common than you think. If it would give you peace of mind, it is worth it. Your WH lied for years. Why should you believe him now? And he's scared because you're cutting the OW out of your life? What sense does that make? Why would you want pictures of her around?

Unfortunately the majority of WSes do not come clean on DDay. The majority lie about it being one time. The majority lie about there being no sex or that it was only oral/manual/whatever. It's just unlikely that everything happened the way he said it did so yes, he should be scared. Scared that your anger will lead you to the truth.

The other issue is it's not really about whether what he says happened constitutes as sex or not. It's about the fact that he could be continuing to betray you today because he's lying to you. It's about how he can't move forward and become a good husband to you because he refuses to give you the truth. That means he's not putting you first. He's putting himself first and you can't R with someone who is still being selfish.

Counsellor asked if I felt that I might be bulling WS. If I was using the affair as a weapon. No shit sherlock! I've lived with so much shit for so long he owes me!

from that statement alone I can see you have gained a lot of strength and you're able to handle your situation. I encourage you to stay the path and turn your marriage into a satisfying one or end it.

I find you to be incredibly strong. I just couldn’t spend my life with a person who go an oath to be faithful and then turned around and an affair with a close friend of mine. I mean I have a hard time seeing it as an act of passion. It’d feel like an attempt to purely hurt me. There was someone who posted about their husband sleep with their younger sister. Both of you are trying to reconcile. And I’m just amazed. I would be seething every moment my ex-wife was in my vincinity. It’s like imagine you found out your spouse was secretly a very good criminal. Then you find out that they have also been stealing from you. I do hope you have continued strength through this because my big fear for you is that one day you are going to realize that your ex-friend is merely a minion (and at worse a side kick). The true villain is your husband. Not only did he cheat, but he chose to do it with your childhood friend who served as your bridesmaid. That to me is an act of spite. You’re friend just sounds like an envious loser and those are dime a dozen. But WS who goes out of their way to destroy a spouse...they are less than human in my book. Chasing her around by volunteering to be her husbands roadie, being intimate with her while you slept right in front of them, being an unaffectionate husband for 8 years, being a mean husband for 8 years, trying to bully you into asking for a divorce multiple times, threatening to leave you, and then as soon as you find out and seem like you are going to ask for a divorce or he wants to change and become the husband you deserve? Like what is really going on with him? I’d be so suspicious. Anyway, keep the strength and I hope it all works out because you really deserve a lot better than these people have given you.