SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

OwningItNow. But I AM in IC, and have been for a few years now. Granted I've changed therapists multiple times due to insurance issues, incompatibility issues such as the therapist rugsweeping (a big no-no according to this site), and some simply listening then telling me I'm fine and I'm too hard on myself (obviously ineffective). I still see a IC, although now I'm not sure how good it's really done for me.

As for the dr and social worker. I can guarantee you both have plenty of bad reviews, both online and in person thru word of mouth in my neighborhood. Multiple moms my age told me how horrible my doctor's bedside humor was for them and how they felt coerced into unnecessary csections or had their babies separated unnecessarily from them for the first hours after birth. I admit I stayed with him because he's a skilled surgeon and I felt grateful to have my uterus spared instead of being felt forced to have a hysterectomy at age 29.

Recently after posting about the social worker here, I got angry all over again. So I complained to the hospital about her. Apparently she'd already been fired. Example, when I told the social work dept manager about how the social worker wouldn't find me therapists in our nearby city only 15mins away yet gave me an outdated list of therapists in rural areas 45mins away, the manager actually slipped, "Yes and that's why she doesn't work for us anymore, because you're far from the only one who said this." When I prodded further about this obvious firing though, the manager said she couldn't discuss it. (I guess I'm lucky she divulged as much as she did) She did apologize profusely, said a social worker should never impose on a patient when there's no clear and present danger to act upon, that she was wrong to act the way she did. And no, I did NOT invite the social worker in, so you have that part wrong, OwningItNow. Not only did she come in the first time, but the next day when I requested the nurses put a "NO VISITORS" sign on my door, even one of my doctors was meek and cautious about entering to see me yet Miss Social Worker sauntered right back in without knocking, like she owned the place.

Two parents in my town complained about their hospital maternity stay and both mentioned the rude social worker who acted like she was practically looking for reasons to be suspicious of them as parents. One couple was unmarried at time of child's birth bit otherwise no issues. The other is married, has other kids, etc and still she picked on them too. Obviously I'm not the common denominator here.

I agree with others that some people are simply toxic, and im trying to shut them out now the way I did with my family. You say it's "impossible" my family is the problem, yet you state I have "obvious FOO issues". Is that not a contradiction?

You say it's "impossible" my family is the problem, yet you state I have "obvious FOO issues". Is that not a contradiction?

No, it's not.

While you cannot control what anyone else in your family does or says, you can control YOU. FOO issues stem from long-term experience with one's FOO. Cutting them out of your life does not cure this at all. You will still have the same reactions and issues--you're just not actively seeking out their company.

You should be seeing progress in IC. You're obviously not. May I suggest that you spend more time reflecting on what is being said to you and how the IC is trying to connect your dots vs. how you are going to defend yourself next.

Case in point: multiple people multiple times have offered advice and insight here on SI. Yet the majority of the suggestions are met with defensiveness and another "facet" to the story to "defend" your actions or planned actions. If you approach IC with this, it is no wonder you are not making progress.

GOOD therapy makes you a little uncomfortable about yourself, BTW, because it challenges your thinking and rationalizations. YOU NEED THAT. You're stuck in your present situation because you are busy defending yourself vs. opening yourself up to seeing things in a different light.

This entire thread is a perfect example. You asked if it was acceptable to lie to one's physician. The majority of people here explained that it didn't do anyone any good to do that and that lying on principle was wrong.

Yet every response you have is embellishing the story and trying to defend yourself, making yourself the victim and everyone else the villains. If this is how you relate to others, I can see why you are having a difficult time building strong relationships, romantic, familial or otherwise.

Cat

Um. Catwoman, embellish means LIE. So you're now accusing me if lying when I add more background details??

Embellish: make (a statement or story) more interesting or entertaining by adding extra details, especially ones that are not true.

Honestly, I don't know if you're lying or not, but some of your stories have difficulty passing the sniff test, and you have admitted to lying in several instances here. So truly, I don't know quite what to believe.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

Cat