SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So I read another post on here tonight where the OP called someone names for having an STD and it struck me how often I have seen such posts here on SI.

I am wondering if that's triggering for anyone else? Like does anyone else, who has an STD, feel ashamed when they read such things? Like does your STD history make you a dirty person? Does how you got the STD effect your thought process? What about the type of STD it is?

Thoughts are welcome from all, whether you got an STD from an A or not. Or even if you have never had an STD.

Hello cheatingwho,

My opinion is that having an STD doesn't make you dirty any more than catching a cold makes you immoral. Viruses, bacteria, fungi, and protozoans don't discriminate based on whether a person is kind to puppies, respectful to the elderly, or a regular attendee at church.

A woman I was having sex with called me one day and told me that she had had genital herpes. She said that she had decided to tell me because she felt guilty about concealing the fact that she had had herpes for decades. As it turned out, a few days before, a man had told her that he had recently tested positive for herpes simplex virus 2 (which causes most genital herpes). (Or at least, he had tested positive for the antibodies to the virus. I don't remember offhand how the HSV2 test works.) Needless to say, it became immediately obvious that she had been having sex with him during the time she had been having sex with me. Not simultaneously. Contemproneously. Had it been simultaneous, I would have known about him before she mentioned it. But I digress.

In any case, I couldn't decide if I was more perturbed because she had failed to notify me that she had herpes or because she had failed to mention that she was having sex with other people.

In any case, the important thing is that our relationship did not work out but not because she had an STD. I don't like it when people withhold important information.

FWIW

One small addendum: none of us were married at the time of all of these shenanigans. Thought I ought to mention that just in case anyone was wondering.

One other small addendum: by some small miracle, to this day I have never had herpes. Don't ask me why not. I haven't a clue. Dumb luck?

I am not entirely sure what you're asking but I will try to answer what I think it is.

My WS gave me multiple STDs, and one made me unable to conceive.

It has been a huge source of shame for me. Tbh, it is a part of why I decided to R (out of many factors). I just could not imagine having to tell a new partner how I had been soiled and my body destroyed. And I can't not tell because one was high risk HPV. And the scars of another are visible. A new partner would almost certainly inquire about the scars at some point. I know what people think of STDs, and it is humiliating.

My XWW got an STD from her AP. Thankfully I didn't get it because she didn't want sex with me anymore. Frankly, in my eyes, it made her even more dirty and shameful. Not that she got an STD, but the way she got it. By spreading her legs for OM.

My sister contracted herpes from a boyfriend who was cheating on her.

After dumping him, she went on to marry and have two kids. With someone who then also cheated on her ::sigh::

I felt terrible for my sister and didn’t see her as dirty at all.

However when the cheating person is the one infected, I consider just one more reason to trash them and look down on them.

I do not judge or consider anyone who has an STD as being dirty or unclean. However I do believe and know that STDs are preventable. The fact that they are so rampant and people do not take precautions and are unwilling to share their own truths keep them spreading and I do have an issue with that.

Cheaters who cheat and knowingly have an STD and don't protect themselves or their partners deserve bad things. My issue is there are some STDs that are incurable and are linked to cancers. There are others that are a life sentence such as HIV, HPV, and hepatitis.

Back when I was a Tushnurse I saw many victims come in with STDs scared frightened and worst of all having to face a fact that their partner lied and cheated.

Well according to the paperwork I got from my ob/gyn yesterday, technically I currently have an STD right now.

Mind you, I haven't had sex in nearly 2 yrs and have been regularly tested multiple times since the last time 2 years ago...

*Crickets chirp*

Yes, it is possible to get some stuff without sexual contact. I am a prime example. In my case, there's controversy over whether my infection be classified with STDs or not since only 55-60% of cases are actually sexually transmitted. The worst aren't. I'll be damned if I get judged for this shit. Part of my motivation to remember to take my antibiotics is that I want to be clean for a future partner.