SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Fuck, yes. You are starting to get this Bulldawg.

No such thing as being overprepared for court by the way.

A decent lawyer is worth every penny. Sometimes it's tough to get a decent one and not everyone is lucky enough to be able to afford it but it can make all the differences in the world.

Bizarre fucking coincidence with me reading this right now as I bumped into and then shook hands with the judge I stood before on two separate occasions less than an hour ago. This would have been 16 and 17 years ago for our court dates. He knows me through family I've got that work in the legal system as well and I've met him before and since then.

I didn't have quite as good a result as you did by the way but still a very fortunate one. Unlike you though, if I had gotten a harsher punishment It would have been through my own merit.

Yeah my parents definitely helped pay for a lawyer.

I’m surprised she didn’t have one, i thought she would considering how far she was willing to go to smear my name.

But since her mother dorsnt really speak to her over what she did, she probably was unable to afford one or she just didn’t want to spend her money on one.

And yeah, that’s part of the reason why I was so caught off guard by the TPO, I didn’t go beat her, I didn’t go beat the other man, in fact I kind of just shut off and started existing. Going to the gym, going to IC, and going to work, occasionally hanging out with friends.

Don’t get me wrong though, I wanted to go beat that dudes ass. I really did, but I also didn’t want to go to jail. I’ve never been in jail, hell the only thing on my record is a underage possession of alcohol when I was 3 days away from turning 21 lol.

But even though I wanted to beat the snot out of that guy, I didn’t. I would say all things considered I handled this pretty well. At first I did the whole pick me dance, begging her to save our marriage, But then once I found out about the other man I did the whole 180.

It’s funnt, she once told me she lied about the other man bc I wouldn’t leave her alone about fixing the marriage, like that even makes sense, all she had to do if she wanted me to leave her alone was tell me the truth the day she told me she wanted a divorce.

Btw I’ve contacted my recruiter, he’s told me that since this was dismissed it won’t effect me at all. So all is good there.

God I hope 6 months from now I’ve put so much distance between me and my ex wife, physically and emotionally, that I will be in a GREAT place.

My new life started yesterday IMO, that court ruling was the first time she didn’t get what she wanted. I feel like it was the first bubble busting of many for her, too bad she did all of this to herself.

BTW, her mom messaged me on Facebook last night, told me how proud she was that I won, also told me she was going to try to talk to her daughter so that she won’t bring any more embarrassment towards herself.

I responded with, thanks “ex wife’s moms name” I want you to know that I really do want what’s best for your daughter. I didn’t want any of this to happen, and when her relationship with “OM’s name” ends you need to be there for her. Don’t continue to treat her like this bc of what she’s done to me. She made a series of mistakes that lead up to her decision to cheat on me and divorce me, but she will always need her mother.

She responded with “ I can’t believe my daughter divorced you, you have such a good heart and I’m so sorry for what she’s done. I hope one day you find peace with all of this.”

That’s all. That was it.

Nice job man. Her mom sounds like a good person.

However, it's time for you to cut the chords and move on. Staying in the loop will just keep you bound in this.

NC is best for her and her family.

Take care

Btw I’ve contacted my recruiter, he’s told me that since this was dismissed it won’t effect me at all. So all is good there.

Excellent news!

And thank you for letting me know that I can stop worrying and nagging at you about it

Bitch probably didn't have a lawyer because she thought it would be a slam dunk. WRONG!!!!!

She probably did lol.

In her mind, me posting the truth about what she did on Facebook, her affair, how she treated me like a dog that she didn’t want anymore, she probably considered that harassment.

But the judge didn’t.

If you don’t want your ex husband to post about your cheating, then you probably shouldn’t cheat.

But it is what it is. I won and she got embarrassed. It was a great day.

[This message edited by Bulldawg2010 at 10:41 PM, June 15th (Friday)]

What a very compassionate communication with former MIL.

To me, that is the healthiest way to feel.

Not to have hatred, or other hard feelings. To feel for them just as a human being. Nothing more - nothing less.

Not an easy place to get to.

Good job.

No wonder she (MIL) respects you.

I have respect for her as well.

She has always treated me like a son, even when me and my XW first started dating.

That’s another hard thing to let go of, is that our families were close to one another. And bc of my XWs decision, we were all ripped apart.

But what’s done is done, nothing her mom can do will change any of it, hell at this point in my life if my XW ever tried to get back together with me, I would just walk away. Or not respond in general.

My dad told me he thinks she is the type of person to call up and threaten to kill herself when her new relationship ends. And honestly I’m starting to think that’s what she would do.

It just amazes me to find out that there really are people in this world that feel no guilt, no shame, no remorse for what they’ve done. I just can’t believe I married one of those people. Of course the red flags I ignored. I remember one time she cussed out her best friend bc she hadn’t talked to her in like a month, her best friend just got married and had a kid so one would think that’s why their friendship took a backseat. But no, my XW thought it was a personal insult.

So many flags I ignored, so many. But now I really do see what a married.

A monster. A true damn sociopath.

And too think when all of this first started, I was blaming myself, I wasn’t living I was existing. I tried to say well maybe if I did this or did that or said this or that, that she wouldn’t have cheated. But I realize that I had no chance, if she would leave me for someone that much older than her she would have left me for anyone.

That’s a cold harsh truth, but I’ve faced it and I’ve accepted it. My greatest fear was losing my wife bc I believed she was my soul mate, now I realize how stupid that fear really was. Life without her isn’t bad. Yes I miss her, but it’s more like I miss the companionship more than actually missing her.

Oh well, like I said what’s done is done. I can only move forward. That’s what I’m going to do.