SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Frankiesbeads, was this an old thread you posted in? If so, it might be possible to find it through Premium. I can try.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 8:24 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

I was chased and I mean I was running hard twice before I was 20. Once was in a park and the other time was on a street with a long block wall and I ran up to a strangers house and opened the front door and hid behind it. I was so scared. I finally went out and ran home. So much for after school study programs or after school sports. I didn't go anywhere alone for a long time. I didn't drive my car at night alone or even much at all.

I was pressured on dates so many times. Guys unwelcome touching and being creepy. It sucks to be a pretty girl sometimes. My friend got a fifty dollar bill stuck into her bra by her boss at the first job she had. We both got exposed to and one perv tried to bring his convertible too close to my bike so that I almost crashed.

It's horrible to feel hunted. I never heard of men being harassed that way except one boy I knew who later came out and told me about being touched by someone.

Women can feel resentful by a pushy or self centered spouse. Anything that even gets close to using behaviour feels wrong for many of us. A sweet spouse that cares and doesn't objectify is pure gold. I don't think men should be objectified either. There's a head on that body after all.

The robots will be here soon enough for those that want emotionless sensations.

Frankiesbeads: is it this one?

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=605419&AP=1&HL=

[This message edited by silverhopes at 8:34 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

No one's rights should come at the expense of someone else's rights. It is EQUAL rights. For all. Not just men and women, but all the other groups that have been marginalized and oppressed by society.

silverhopes, that is a good thread.

U/silverhopes, it could be but the link isn’t working for me?

And I appreciate you looking for me 😊

Notthevictim

I guess I don't see where his actions impacting your feelings equates to your legal rights. Can you explain this for me?

(I promise I'm not a complete idiot about other things.)

Because for years WH used sexual coercion on me from r the duration of our marriage, until DDay. Those behaviours of his were the opposite of equality. In fact, it was a clear indication that he saw me as not a person, but as an object to be used when the mood struck him.

Therefore, his actions were a clear indication that my ‘rights’ were invalid. An object has no rights.

Now suddenly, he is all about feminism. Making such a leap, such a 180 on such an ingrained view of the gender divide...well, it makes me tilt my head.

And please don’t don’t diminish my feelings. The are/were valid at the time. No one enjoys feeling like they are just a semen receptacle. Don’t redirect my pain or situation so you can win an argument. Thank you.

Until I read Love and Respect in the Marriage and Family (two books there), I always thought I wanted a partner and to be treated equally. We would just live as partners. Everything equal. I still do want a partner. I still want to be treated with love and respect. I do know I would love to have my husband lead our family with respectful Christian values and integrity while treating me as an equal. I am not sure if that is really equal. Maybe it is, the husband kills all the spiders and opens doors like a gentleman. The husband is our KISA. The wife nurtures and loves. We will never be equals because we are different. It seems we were made to compliment each other. To fill in each others weaknesses. It seems many women have affairs with KISA's and that would be a man being put as the leader in the relationship. Do they really want to be treated equally? I don't really want to be my husband's equal. I want him to lead with honor and integrity. Yet, I do want him to treat me with love and respect. Maybe treat others as you would have them treat you gets confused with equality. I don't want to hold the door open for my husband (unless he needs help), I don't want to kill the spiders, and I don't want pull the chair out for myself in restaurants. I love having a gentleman cherish and protect me.

Wasn't trying to do that, just understand.

No doubt, feminism isn't done, nor should it be, but if you think it's some gleaming light solving the only problems that we deal with, you are wrong.

You're welcome to join me next time I take my daughter to the place across the street for lunch, and try to explain to her why someone carved "KILL ALL MEN" into the booth wall.

I don't agree with Rideitout that men are disadvantaged, but we're certainly targeted. And we're a really acceptable target right now, especially white men. No one bothers to ask me about my background as a child sexual abuse survivor by a female babysitter (my brother too).

Great post hopefulmother. Thank you for sharing that.

the husband kills all the spiders

Actually, I am the spider killer in the family. Just killed one creeping up the wall near FWH's side of the bed. He is scared of spiders. (Ever since he was a child and saw some old creepy "Twilight Zone" (?) in the 60's were when the spider was killed it came back bigger and bigger.) I'll never forget the day I was dating my tall, handsome, strong BF (MisterSister) who was literally chased around the house by a huge Palmetto bug. When I could finally stop laughing this 5'0" 100# woman squished it for him and saved the "damsel" in distress!

XHZ700 Ihave a son and I agree.

Why can't we agree that both genders are targeted?

I am a mother of two sons. I can't begin to tell you the fear I had of some girl accusing my son, falsely, of rape. Or him being 18 and having consensual sex with a 17 y.o. girl classmate who's parents charge him with rape. I pounded it into their heads about making sure that the girl was of consenting age. Just because you are both Seniors in H.S. doesn't mean they are legal age. Many young men have been falsely accused and convicted of rape when it just wasn't so.

SisterMilkshake I was going to say the same thing except I am the spider rescuer lol. I save them and throw them outside

the husband kills all the spiders

Oh no! This contraption could put husbands out of a job:

^^^^Want!^^^^

eta: crazy, you are so sweet. I say kill the nasty things!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 4:34 PM, August 13th (Monday)]

why can't we agree that both genders are targeted?

I am a mother of two sons. I can't begin to tell you the fear I had of some girl accusing my son, falsely, of rape. Or him being 18 and having consensual sex with a 17 y.o. girl classmate who's parents charge him with rape. I pounded it into their heads about making sure that the girl was of consenting age. Just because you are both Seniors in H.S. doesn't mean they are legal age. Many young men have been falsely accused and convicted of rape when it just wasn't so.

Well I have 2 daughters and the statistics are so that at least one of them WILL be sexually assaulted/raped.

I just want parents to teach their sons to not sexually assault women. Not just ensure that they are ‘legal’.

Have your sons see women as *people*, not an obstacle or challenge or less than them.

Teach them that they have more to offer than what’s between their legs.

Women have brains and opinions and humor and the need for a deep emotional connection.

Women also like sex, and that respect of their needs and boundaries are just as important and equal to theirs.

I have a daughter, too, Frankie.

Please don't take what I said about my sons as the only things I have tried to teach them about women.

Men/boys get sexually assaulted, too. Go read ZenMumWalking's thread.

One of the most important things my old lady taught our daughter was how to fight.

One of the most important things I taught our son was how to be a gentlemen.

Sure me and the old lady had a shyty first half M, but the kids learned never to take any crap and always say please and thank you.

Lets just say my daughter can throw and bunch and my son can take one. And ya violence sucks but with two kids and knowing the stats say one of them is going to get assaulted.... we as parents have to teach them wrong from right and what to do when shyt goes wrong.

The sooner kids figure out what coercion is and how to stop it is so important....the crap we have to teach them when they are young is so hard but needs to be done.

How tough is it to teach them to share and then teach them to protect then from all the users in the world....{can I get an Amen}

So the point is what we teach our kids now... we can only pray it sticks with them when they are adults and in adult situations.

Well I have 2 daughters and the statistics are so that at least one of them WILL be sexually assaulted/raped.

50% chance of being raped? Where the hell do you live?

(Think about that statistic (1 out of 2) and decide if it makes any sense whatsoever)