I guess I'm going to throw out some ideas that are "against" the majority opinion here, FWIW.
Toonces, you mentioned that you were burned-out several years ago, and you took some time off to recover. Since your wife has been let go from several F/T jobs recently, could she be suffering from burn-out as well?
I ask because I was in that situation several years ago. Not being let go - quite the opposite. I was BURIED in responsibility and demands that NEVER let up. It took quite an emotional toll on me, and in some respects, a physical one as well. One day I hit my breaking point. Not only did I break, but I broke completely. I left my resignation on my bully-boss' desk, along with my office key, and walked the hell out.
I haven't worked full-time since.
Not out of selfishness or laziness; but out of self-preservation. Until you have been completely psychologically broken, you can't fathom what that feels like. I honestly think I had what people call a "nervous breakdown". I just knew I couldn't continue being berated, bullied, and overworked for even one more day. I. Was. Done.
I do work part-time now and have for several years. I'm doing a completely different type of work that I LOVE. Am I making the same money? Hell NO! Do I regret leaving my full-time job and letting the chips fall where they may? NOT FOR A MINUTE.
Understand that I am single. I don't have a husband's income to fall back on. Hell, I don't even make enough to cover my monthly expenses. So, I am using some of my savings, selling extra stuff I have accumulated through the years, and trying to downsize. To me, ANY financial sacrifice I had to make was better than the crippling demands of my profession and full-time job. ANY sacrifices were worth it to me.
You mention your lifestyle. Could you guys simplify that? Move to smaller house? Sell her brand new car for something less expensive? I made a LOT of changes in my life and lifestyle to adjust to less $$. I felt like my mental well-being was worth it.
Maybe you can have a frank discussion with your wife and see if she is feeling any of the things I have described. I think we are all too quick to assume she is lazy or financially irresponsible when in actuality, she may be depressed, burnt out, and at the end of her rope.
A frank discussion, without demands or judgments may get you further here. As I said, these are just my ideas, coupled with my story. YMMV.
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Edited to add: Toonces, you also mention her failed business venture as essentially "time off". As someone that has had several businesses of my own, whether they made great $$ or not, they were certainly NOT time off. I actually worked harder at my own businesses than for most employers. And even though she didn't generate income for your retirement fund or household, could that failed attempt also be factoring in to some depression/desire to only work part-time now?
[This message edited by Too_Trusting at 8:15 PM, September 6th (Thursday)]
