SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The 180 WORKS . The M may not work out...but the 180 makes the BS a stronger and healthier person no matter the outcome .

This sums it up perfectly!!

The 180 saved me....After the A, Wh gaslighted, TT, lied for years...and he continued with very bad behavior...and illness...

I did the 180 to detach...from the pain..the distrust...I literally stopped loving him...as time went on....

ANd he did cheat again...As D looms on, I was more prepared, for what was coming...

that's a success...I never wanted to stay the crumbled mess I was.

It can save you both ways.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 9:13 AM, September 28th (Friday)]

OverandUnderit,

Your last post is very upsetting. I believe it to be abuse but I'm not an expert so I don't want to give you any advice other than you really, really need to talk to someone who can assess the situation and help you. Are you allowed to go to a doctor appointment? You have access to a telephone that he can't track? If so, you might want to call the local domestic violence center and talk to them about your situation.

Please post here again and keep us updated. And please keep this site to yourself so that no one sees what you write or what is said to you.

[This message edited by josiep at 2:41 PM, September 28th (Friday)]

I just went back and read your earlier posts.

Did you have your court hearing?

Does he use alcohol and/or drugs?

But getting back to the 180 - it would be the best thing for you. It seems that you keep having confrontations with him and they don't accomplish anything and it would probably be better if you didn't engage him about those things because he's going to lie to you, blame you and then punish you.

Your situation is very concerning to me and I hope you seek professional help.

Josiep it's been a stressful time to say the least.

I did have my court hearing angry they threw it out. they said because we were stl living under the same roof (esentially) that I couldn't collect child support. That we have to fully separate our addresses. I said he had been staying at his dads but he denies it was ever permanent and he plans on being in his home. They sided with him. So I've been stuck.

For the first week or so after they dropped the case he was all nice. Like super happy and seemed to want to reconcile. But now that has worn off and hes slipping back into his ways. I still have to ask ( more like beg) for any money. Most of the time he doesnt give it without rudeness or days after I've asked.

So I feel like I let myself down by not sticking to the 180. I guess it's just my nature to be so hopeful that he has a good side in him. But I've realized now he doesnt. I want out soooo bad. I actually think more about life without him then with him. I KNOW that if I stick with the 180 I will be so much happier and healthier since this is going to be a process. I'm going from SAHM to employed. Home owner to apartment living. Finanacially comfortable to struggle. Pets to no animals. Married to divorced with 3 kids. As much as I wish I could run out the door and never look back I have 3 little lives depending on me. So I will only suffer slightly internally while I work through it all. I feel confident and absolutely petrified at the same time. Hes so good at manipulating me and getting me to fall back in. Hopefully this site will keep me accountable. I'm just getting worn out and my health is deteriorating.

Sorry for the long rant it's just been a rough time and I needed a vent.