SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sharon Osbourne admits she takes partial blame for Ozzy's past extramarital affairs.

'When it happened to me, my husband cheating on me, I put all the blame on him, everything on him," Sharon said on "The Talk" Friday. "And then you look back, and you look at your own behavior, and maybe I didn't give him the attention that he needed.'

"I knew when I married him, he needs a lot of attention... that's the guy that I married and maybe I wasn't there all the time when he needed me," she continued. "So it does make you look at yourself and if you can both be so truthful about it, it does definitely bring you together."

"That's so beautiful," guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba said. "You took the time to look at you even though he did the outwardly wrong thing, you took [responsibility]."

"You're my relationship goals," she added. "That's what I hope to end up with is somebody who will also meet me halfway even when it's mostly my fault and I think everything is two people."

Eve pointed out that "even if it hurts," a couple needs to be "brutally honest" with each other.

There's no doubt that honesty has been a large part of Sharon and Ozzy's marriage. The couple, who have been together for 36 years, have experienced many turmoils throughout their relationship, from Ozzy's drug and alcohol abuse to Sharon's cancer battle in 2002.

Sharon has been open about the Black Sabbath frontman's former infidelities in the past. Last year, "The Talk" co-host revealed that Ozzy didn't just have one affair with hairstylist Michelle Pugh, but had relationships with six different women.

"There wasn’t just one woman; there were six of them," Sharon told The Telegraph back in September 2017, “Some f--king Russian teenager...then a masseuse in England...our masseuse out here [in Los Angeles]... and then our cook."

"He had women in different countries," she added. "Basically, if you’re a woman giving Ozzy either a back rub or a trolley of food, God help you."

I think its a stage...self relection...none of us are perfect spouses...what caused this A?

I wasn't giving WH all the attention he needed....why? because he was cheating all along...I was healing from the last A...I was suspecting new A....there was no work done by him, so I was left bleeding...Excuse me if IM not the sex kitten...

That is always my question...why weren't you there for them? Im sure you had a very valid reason..You can always turn it around...obviously, they weren't there for you either, or you wouldn't have detached.

Serial cheaters are serial cheaters. They only need to be alive to cheat...

The first A, is brutal...its mind blowing to realize you are married to a serial cheater...I know.

HAs she ever cheated? I could never be a madhatter...Im starting to consider things..Im starting to consider why I have stayed faithful...for myself now... Faithful isn't the issue anymore...the marriage is over.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 10:50 PM, September 30th (Sunday)]

[This message edited by Pdxguy at 9:02 PM, October 9th (Tuesday)]

I feel badly for all of the betrayed spouses who happened to have either read this article or seen Sharon Osbourne discuss on The View what she considers her partial blame for Ozzy's affairs.

If you're in an abusive relationship, or your needs aren't being met, or you're bored, or your spouse gains weight, or you're having a midlife crisis, there are always - ALWAYS - alternatives to infidelity.

I've seen it written on this site and elsewhere a million times, and it is so right: we each need to take ownership for our mistakes and shortcomings in our relationships, but the CHEATER is solely responsible for the infidelity.

I blamed myself when I had my first D-Day ... same type of reasons. I thought I was lacking .. second D-Day and I realized it wasn’t my fault at all ...

Ozzy was a HARD CORE drug addict and had endless groupies following him ... his life on the road and lifestyle were hardly a good match for a family life ... I have seen interviews and the Osborn kids all said they never saw much of him growing up ...

It’s really a shame what he did to Sharon because he credits her for his sobriety ... and he thanked her by recently having a three year affair ... jerk. (Although I do like some of his songs.)

maybe I wasn't there all the time when he needed me

I wonder if he was there all the time when she needed him?

“That's so beautiful," guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba said. "You took the time to look at you even though he did the outwardly wrong thing, you took [responsibility]."

No, Carrie Ann, it’s not beautiful. At best, it’s co-dependent. But really, it’s moronic bs.

This might be too much of a side point, but my therapist believes my BS would've been betrayed by almost any man she wouldve married.

WTAF? How is your BW responsible for someone else’s actions? And how is your therapist in a position to know this? What kind of data does one use to make such a (professionally irresponsible) statement? I hope you fired the charlatan. .

[This message edited by BlueIris at 11:50 PM, September 30th (Sunday)]

Not to excuse his actions...

but, this:

...Ozzy was a HARD CORE drug addict and had endless groupies following him ... his life on the road and lifestyle were hardly a good match for a family life...

Super famous rock stars don't exactly strike me as the most likely candidates for a "monogamous & faithful marriage". Just sayin'.

Also, Sharon was the OW in his first marriage, I believe. So, yeah... it sucks to be hurt & betrayed, but it's not entirely *SHOCKING* given their unique lifestyle. If she was the OW, like I think, then there's the whole "what goes around, comes around" thing, too. (I've also heard she's had affairs herself. No personal knowledge of them, just what you see watching "rockumentaries" & reading articles, etc.).

Just wanna say- I'm a BS ... so I'm not giving out forgiveness or excuses for what he did to a wife he claims to absolutely adore.

Having named my son after his late guitar player, I obviously was a huge fan. I was absolutely, 100% disappointed when this all came out. It definitely has tarnished my view of him, & sadly, I enjoy the music less now. 😔

Sharon accepting blame for Ozzy's affair is bullcrap, but a lot of people expect you, as a BS, to accept "your part in 'causing' it".

That, & the co-host's response to Sharon's statement makes me wanna !!

[This message edited by WowItsReallyReal at 12:39 AM, October 1st (Monday)]

She is absolutely delusional. Anyone who appreciates or shares her sentiments is also delusional.

I have felt unappreciated in the past. I also felt that my needs were not being met, or even considered. I have felt worthless and unloved. Despite this I would never make such choices, and if I did .... those choices would be entirely my fault and my responsibility.

If you’re unhappy in a relationship then do something about it. Either commit to trying to fix the problems or leave, end it! Then do as you please.

He is a cheater. There’s absolutely no excuse for his selfish, disgusting behaviour.

Making excuses will just result in repeated betrayals.

but my therapist believes my BS would've been betrayed by almost any man she wouldve married

Pdxguy, are you already looking for a new IC?

A codependent will always take some responsibility for the way others treat them. By doing this, we lower our standards enough that we don't have the kinds of lofty boundaries that force us to cut people out of our lives.

Ozzy is a narcissist. Only one type of person will find the selfish, exaggerated bluster of a narcissist attractive--a codependent. Her codependence and accompanying low self-esteem allowed her to be Ozzy's OW and then his wife, with low expectations that let him be gone all the time and focus on himself.

Sharon Osbourne is clearly still very ill with codependence and nowhere near ready to face how she feels without her drug of choice, her narc husband. She might as well be Demi Lovato trying to justify that drugs are not the problem, it's her inability to do them correctly that needs work.

Very sad.

I wasn't giving WH all the attention he needed....why? because he was cheating all along...I was healing from the last A...I was suspecting new A....there was no work done by him, so I was left bleeding...Excuse me if IM not the sex kitten...

That is always my question...why weren't you there for them? Im sure you had a very valid reason..You can always turn it around...obviously, they weren't there for you either, or you wouldn't have detached.

Serial cheaters are serial cheaters. They only need to be alive to cheat...

Here is what people do not seem to understand, when someone betrays you, stabs you in the back.... you don't want to rush over and give them a hug and say "thank you". You pull away. You freak out, you look at this person in a whole different way, the trust is gone.

A BS who is co dependent will go thru many of the emotions of trying to figure out how THEY could have prevented it. But there is no amount of attention you can give someone if they are actively out looking for MORE then you can ever give them.

A codependent will always take some responsibility for the way others treat them. By doing this, we lower our standards enough that we don't have the kinds of lofty boundaries that force us to cut people out of our lives.

Ozzy is a narcissist. Only one type of person will find the selfish, exaggerated bluster of a narcissist attractive--a codependent. Her codependence and accompanying low self-esteem allowed her to be Ozzy's OW and then his wife, with low expectations that let him be gone all the time and focus on himself.

Sharon Osbourne is clearly still very ill with codependence and nowhere near ready to face how she feels without her drug of choice, her narc husband. She might as well be Demi Lovato trying to justify that drugs are not the problem, it's her inability to do them correctly that needs work.

Very sad.

And also a very sad example for many BS's especially women to make this kind of statement on TV. I do agree that Ozzie is Sharon's "drug of choice" and it is her marriage and her life, I also agree that she is very co dependent to take part of the blame for someone who she has admittedly said has cheated on her multiple times. It must be a very painful life to live, but it is hers to live.

When the story first broke about his A, Sharon said, he was a sex addict.

Has she changed her story because some Fancy Dancy Hollywood therapist (who really doesn't know cheating) has told her she needs to take 50% of the responsibility. Like we hear so often.

Since when do the marriage vows include I must attend to all his needs all the time.

[This message edited by 2oldforthis at 7:45 AM, October 1st (Monday)]

but my therapist believes my BS would've been betrayed by almost any man she wouldve married.

Not to t/j, but can you elaborate on that a little bit? Because... WOW.

'When it happened to me, my husband cheating on me, I put all the blame on him, everything on him," Sharon said on "The Talk" Friday. "And then you look back, and you look at your own behavior, and maybe I didn't give him the attention that he needed.'

"I knew when I married him, he needs a lot of attention... that's the guy that I married and maybe I wasn't there all the time when he needed me," she continued. "So it does make you look at yourself and if you can both be so truthful about it, it does definitely bring you together."

No relationship is perfect, but I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and trying to be objective, and literally take 0% of the blame for the affair and maybe like 5% of the blame for relationshio problems.

I spent 10 years with my WS in denial about his bipolar disorder -- the lows where he had trouble getting out of bed or off the couch to anything and the crazy hypomanic episodes... the first one involved a lot of cocaine. The second one involved pain pills (and stealing from family members). Then there was a good couple of years where he was basically addicted to working out (like 3 hours every single day), but mentally he was pretty level during that time.

He stopped working out, got a new job and we had a new baby right before his A started.

All this time, I was working, taking care of our older kid, making sure the house was clean, laundry was done, we had a really good, kinky, active sex life.

So... when I had our second baby and struggled with PPA, was I there for him like I was before? Uh... no. But for all the time and effort that I had put into our relationship, was he there for me when I was struggling and really needed him? Nope.

Unfortunately she is not alone in her feelings. IMHO it's a way to take back control of the situation. When I first found out what my WH had done, I did listen to his excuses and thought to myself maybe he had a point. Maybe I wasn't there for him in the capacity he needed. Then....reality set in. Once I really looked at our marriage, I realized it needed help, even before his A's. Through the years, I also felt neglected and unloved. I also felt like I didn't matter. I also felt like I could do nothing right. I felt disconnected. You know what I did through those years? I tried to have conversations. I tried to let him know how I was feeling. I asked to go to counseling. He shut me down at every turn. He didn't want to talk about it. Everything was fine, he was just tired or overworked. He/we didn't need counseling, so I just stopped bringing it up. You know what I didn't do? Have an affair... I did think about leaving for a while, not for anyone else, but because I was miserable and he wasn't interested on trying to make it better. I finally decided to stay. Not really sure why. Cheating never entered my mind though.

[This message edited by doigoordoistay at 8:12 AM, October 1st (Monday)]

Through the years, I also felt neglected and unloved. I also felt like I didn't matter. I also felt like I could do nothing right. I felt disconnected. You know what I did through those years? I tried to have conversations. I tried to let him know how I was feeling. I asked to go to counseling. He shut me down at every turn. He didn't want to talk about it. Everything was fine, he was just tired or overworked. He/we didn't need counseling, so I just stopped bringing it up.

This is the martyrdom of codependence. You were letting him get his needs met for a long while, yet yours were going unmet. Why? We teach people how to treat us. Guess he thought you'd continue to stay even if he cheated. My H figured as much, too.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 9:17 AM, October 1st (Monday)]

I like the way our MC phrased it: :"Circumstances were present." I think of it like a fellow HS whispers to you to cut class. The decision to actually do so is 100% yours.

Pdxguy: I'm also curious as to what the therapist meant?

This is the martyrdom of codependence. You were letting him get his needs met for a long while, yet yours were going unmet. Why? We teach people how to treat us. Guess he thought you'd continue to stay even if he cheated. My H figured as much, too.

You are 110% spot on. I own my part in the codependency, but not for his A's. Those were all on him.

ETA

I am working on my issues in IC. I've been putting my needs above his. He has yet to begin working on his. Hence the separation.

[This message edited by doigoordoistay at 9:59 AM, October 1st (Monday)]

I believe Sharon also cheated on Ozzy... not 100% certain of the details. Both of them have issues.

I am working on my issues in IC. I've been putting my needs above his. He has yet to begin working on his. Hence the separation.

I'm sorry. Your situation is very similar to my own, both frustrating and heart breaking.