I'll try to be detailed with short post but please excuse my grammar as it might not be perfect.
Married for 14 years 3 kids under age of 8.
Married life was perfect with no issues until we did not move about 8 years ago, slowly our relationship deteriorated as we had 0 privacy from her parents. We have our own huge house and finally after 8 years in-laws moved out .
I am/was trying to be very supportive husband around the house and with our marriage however we constantly fought over little things, now when we do get into an argument I just give up as there is no point. Am always the lier, doing things wrong etc.
How all evolved:
About year ago wife was spying on me with find iPhone. I found out about iPhone and confronted her. The argument was that my phone was at different location than where I work. I seriously had no idea but after some research.
So that got me thinking, she usually does what she blames me for, which made me suspicious that she might be cheating on me. At first I did not find anything from her phone (Which she guards like a hawk). Finally I set some eyes on her phone and got in. I found out that she has been on a end to end encryption app talking to a some guy constantly. I found out they've exchanged nude pictures.
I am pretty sure they had sex because every time we have sex I get some sort of rash which has not happened in past.
I really have nobody to talk to as over the years she made me believe everyone is bad.
Finances
I finance almost everything although we both have good jobs .
Our joint account in which only I direct deposit runs almost check to check and in red zone now and then. I bailed her credit cards few times now times worth of $60k.
Anyway, I don't want to prolong this post as it is long as it is.
Am seeking for advice if I should confront her about the sexting of her and telling her boyfriend how she would love loves him and would like to be with him.
Do I need any more evidence to confront her or is that enough?
Should I wait also for STD results?
I looked up her boyfriend and found tons of stuff on him including that he is married.
I saw few posts here to let his wife know about infidelity or my findings, should I ?
Sooo many questions, hope I get some closure and advice.
Yes I think I do want divorce vs reconciliation as we tried MC before , first time we went to she said that councilor was on my side and wants to **** me , months later we went and she said how I am lying and do nothing and then she just walk out. Councilor was very concerned of her behavior and dealing with confrontation.
Edit: I really couldn't sleep, when I got home from work I said I am not feeling well. But I can not prolong of not feeling well and have such desire to tell her not to even initiate sex or be close to me as I just can not even imagine her body being with someone else and loving or having feeling for somebody else.
[This message edited by wegotonelife at 9:38 AM, January 17th (Thursday)]