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LilBlackCat ( member #57470) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019
I think that is there's no chemistry... It's not going to work.. but, if there's a sliver of chemistry, then it CAN grow...
It simply has to exist in the first place.
Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.
Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.
CharliB (original poster member #59007) posted at 7:59 PM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019
Lilblackcat,
I am thinking the question of chemistry might be different for girls than it is for guys. I dated 2 guys that I felt the chemistry was immediate and off the charts! Both were the “ bad boy” type I usually go for. Fun but not safe partner choices for me.
The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything
CharliB (original poster member #59007) posted at 2:14 PM on Thursday, February 7th, 2019
So.... I never got a chance to find out if we had chemistry or if chemistry would develop. He dropped me like a hot cake when he discovered I was still on the dating site. He accused me of being a player and of "shopping" for a better man. This after only one IRL date. I was unaware that I was expected to be exclusive after 1 date. 
The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:57 PM on Thursday, February 7th, 2019
Ohh mannn!!! Whelp, you definitely dodged a bullet there.
I know beach Dad is on Bumble. I'm not even asking/checking on his profile, because there has been NO defining what we are doing. Easy breezy casual. And I like him and don't want to invite the green-eyed monster into my life. Only if/when we are exclusive, and VERBALIZE it, will I concern myself with that.
Next, CharliB!!
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
CharliB (original poster member #59007) posted at 1:59 PM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019
I have met someone new and had a few dates. Definitely chemistry with this one 
The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 4:17 PM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019
^^^Go you!! Not wasting any time! Keep us posted!
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
tiredofcrying59 ( member #56180) posted at 5:49 PM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019
For me, it just kind of has to be there in the beginning. Maybe not OMG he's hot kind of feeling, but at least something. Because I'm a very easy going person and I can convince myself that a guy is "attractive enough" that I could sleep with him, but I really don't need to settle.
I've always been a serial monogamist and constantly in a relationship. I just get scooped up by someone 5 minutes after I'm single, and I'm trying to steer my own boat this time instead of just jumping into the first friendly canoe and getting swept away. And if that means I drive the boat for a little while and decide I'm done, that's ok too.
BW
Me-59
Him-57
M-33 yrs, not that I "celebrate" it
D-day-10/30/16 2mo.PA w/COW attempting R
new news- like a 5 year A w/COW, no longer attempting R. What am I, an idiot?
Getting on with life, without him.
CaliforniaNative ( member #60149) posted at 5:52 PM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019
CharliB
I feel the same way. My xh was decent looking, in good shape, and 6 foot, but I wasn’t really attracted to him. Even my bff thought I could do better. My x and I got along so well, that I continued to date and eventually married him. The chemistry was always lacking and it affected other things down the road. As we aged I became less attracted to him. So much so that I was surprised that he could get a woman half his age. Same as you I wonder if the lack of chemistry is one of the many reason why the marriage imploded.
Although I chose to be alone for now, I know chemistry is important for me. However, it can’t be the only factor. I had amazing, super strong chemistry with a guy almost half my age. I would never date him, but wow. Super surprised by the fireworks! However not boyfriend material!!!!
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