SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Title says it all. Served my WW yesterday and today she is trying to trigger me. I didn’t know she would be this awful of a human being to bring him into my house. I can’t do anything. I called the police and there is nothing I can do. Someone please tell me there is a way to make this stop. I know she’s doing it to try to get me to leave but I can’t go. My kids need me. She is an awful human being and mother and my kids need me. They are upstairs in my bedroom asleep in MY bed together. I’m sick. Physically sick.

I'm so sorry, she really is a very broken person. She sounds borderline to me, reminds me of someone I used to know. This is burning bridges. Try to look at her as an strange looking animal, fascinating but dangerous and hostile. Don't engage, if things escalate, please record and call police. If she is drinking she could get all sorts off crazy. Think of your kids and yourself, she is gone, sadly

Absolutely despicable.

Pathetic excuse of a human being and a mother.

Get a good divorce attorney as quickly as you can and tell them about this situation.

I think it’s possible an emergency motion can be filed with the family court system possibly giving you sole use of the house or maybe preventing your adulterous-wife from bringing her adultery guy into the house.

Judges know a potentially volatile situation like this poses a big risk to children and is a just-plain horrible thing to do to them emotionally.

Document everything and every event with dates and times.

Keep a voice-activated recorder on you at all times.

If you are legally able to keep video security cameras in the home then I would do it.

If she is trying to trigger you then DO NOT RESPOND OR ENGAGE with her or him in any way.

Again, get an attorney as quickly as you can.

[This message edited by keptmyword at 1:23 AM, July 5th (Friday)]

I'm confused. Isn't the OM married? He's not the least bit worried you'll open the door, get some pictures of them in bed together, and show them to his wife?

She's not the only delusional person in the A. She might not even be the most delusional. At least she knows she's been caught and is trying to bait you, but WTF is he thinking?

Yes he is married! I already have an attorney and will be calling tomorrow to see if I can file something. I’m all fucked up over this but will not engage. I don’t know what to do. I have to be SUPER careful because she popped me on a bullshit domestic back in Dec. charges were either dropped or deferred so I have to be careful for a year.

I have security cameras all outside but none inside.

It really seems she is trying to get a reaction from you to get upper hand, she's probably drunk too. You are very wise not to engage, as hard as this is. Be strong, you will get trough this. Look at her as a cornered, injured deadly animal who has nothing to lose by tearing you apart. You have something to live for. For now just breathe, you have to survive till next breath and in the morning you can take action.

[This message edited by bookworm19 at 1:40 AM, July 5th (Friday)]

I'm so sorry but horrible add this is for you just now you really need to figure out what you're going to do in the morning.

Specifically, if he's still there when your kids get up. Are you able to get them ready and out of the house without them seeing him? Or going and staying with them until he's gone? Anything to protect them really.

I’m so sorry she did this. My God. People are awful. I’m angry for you and your precious kids. Do not engage. Do not let her get what she is looking for. I hope you can get your kids up and out today. Take them to breakfast?

And yeah. I’m guessing you are still awake. How are you holding up?

I can’t imagine how the OM can even feel comfortable there. Does his wife know about the A?

Yes, I am still awake. The slightest noise and I was up. It’s approaching 5 AM where I live. I am fairly certain he is gone as I heard movement at about 4:30 and she deactivated one of my security cameras and then turned it back on. I haven’t made contact with her yet because it will do no good this early. I am waiting for everyone to be awake and it to be daylight with people outside etc.. I am going to only speak to her about the incident and ask that she not do it again. I am going toonky talk about that, calmly and record it. I will not act angry or give her any emotion as I know she did this to try to trigger me. She is mentally ill and has gotten worse as the years have progressed with this type of behavior. Seriously, I was literally standing next to the bed while they both lay there and neither of them knew it. They were drunk & passed out.

You are doing OK considering the situation. Just as I thought, drunk and trying to get a reaction out of you, or maybe she just doesn't care. She will be cranky because of the hangover, so beware and be extra calm and record everything. You got this, as bad as it is.

Did you take photos? I'm wondering if she'll claim it didn't happen or if she's the sorry that gets blackout drunk won't remember without proof!

No normal person does this.

You were so smart to NOT leave your children with this POS in your home! Your atty will argue for you, that it would have completely f****d up the kids if they walked in on this! Hell, maybe this stupidity just got you custody.

Get a PI so next time you can have it documented for the courts, if $$ is an issue, do you have a friend or family member you can call to come over and be a witness today or next time?

You are the strongest person I know.

I have to think this will give you and your atty leverage when working out a compromise with WW. Hell, this might have just given you custody, as I think every judge could empathize with you.

When crazy xh did crazy stuff to me, I compartamentalized in my brain, and said I will deal with this next month, but for today I’m going to not even think about it.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 6:55 AM, July 5th (Friday)]

Wow. I am so sorry that this happened to you. She is so F-up. If you KNOW that you can remain calm and have the recorder going, go ahead and confront her on her behavior. Don't make it about you and her make it about how messed up it is for the kids. How old are they?

Document everything. She might have done this so to get a second fake DV charge against you. Knowing that she has done this once (fake DV) has me worried about you.

You really need to go as NC as possible. Start planning days away from the house with the kids. Try to get a parenting wizard started so you know who should have the kids when.

Have you tried looking at his Facebook page to find out who his wife is?

Hope you are ok

Oh hell no.

Call attorney today, leave a message if not in office. THIS is not in your children's best interest and may give you huge leverage depending on the judge.

She just made a huge error in judgment and has no regard in what is best for her children.

Stay calm and keep your side of the street clean.

Do full exposure on her/him. That's about all you have

Damn, that's a cold, cruel and calculated move on her part. Showing you her true colors, never forget. Screw up her calculation be being the variable and changing the equation on her. Listen to everyone here telling you not to engage, because that's what she's counting on happening. With the prior incident, she's looking for you to blow your stack so she can get YOU out of the house. Don't fall for it.

Next, get with your attorney. You want a restraining order or premises ban of some sort preventing him from entering your property. (Without something like this, that's why the police can't do anything.) Tell the attorney his presence is detrimental to the "best interests" of your kids.

Third, it's time to rat out this asshole to his wife. Neither of you deserve this, but she needs to know that. Look at it this way, he's put her in an "open marriage" without her knowledge. Plus, it has the added bonus of not only messing with his shit, you mess with your WWs shit as well. Watch the A cool after you do this, count on it. HE won't have the time to carry on because he'll be dealing with the mess he's created. Maybe you get "lucky" and SHE looses her cool with you, and YOU can get her removed from the house. Even if only temporary. Keep the recorder, or an app on you phone handy.

She's shown you who she is and what she's capable of doing. She expects you to just roll and take it because of the prior incident. Don't. But do it in a way she's not counting on. She won't know how to handle that.

Good luck, brother.

Background check this OM. Used any means necessary to get a restraining order so he cannot he in “x” feet of you. That will keep him out of your home.

Get custody in place - I know you are on it having called your attorney.

Carry a voice activated recorder on you at all times. This can refute (with inside cameras) any false domestic violence allegations.

She’s clearly not right in her mind. You need to protect your children from both her and the OM

Did the security cameras catch them coming in the house?

Call his wife and tell her where her husband was last night. Show her the footage of them entering the house.

File a RO on OM. That will keep him out of your house.

That she brought him into the home,with her children there, is abusive. Exposing her kids to what could have been a violent situation is horrifying.

And this man? That he would do this, shows he has no consideration for your children at all. Hopefully this will be used against her in court,and you are awarded custody.

Wow, I'm sorry, this is so messed up. She pulls this while you and the kids are there? You are so strong brother! She obviously gives 2 shits for you and the kids.

I know you said you tried to find a number for OM wife with no luck. Have you tried facebook? Google her name or his. Background check this guy. There is a lot on the internet. Good luck with your lawyer. She has shown you who she is. The dude has some balls staying there as well. 2 sick individuals. Expose him, find his wife and expose.