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New Beginnings :
Should I tell him?

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 lizgwvet (original poster member #15967) posted at 3:35 AM on Friday, September 6th, 2019

All, meet a nice guy on line, nicest guy so far.

He is a widower, lost his wife due to ALS ( Lou Gehrig)

Been dating just a short time but I feel I should disclose that I was diagnosed with MS in 2001. I am doing very well, but the possibility that I could have an attack weighs heavy on me.

The guy has been through a lot and I think I should let him know sooner than later.

Thoughts?

Thanks my wonderful friends.

PS I work very hard to stay in shape!

When someone reveals their true self the first time believe it!

Maya Angelou

posts: 453   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Washington state
id 8432787
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:38 AM on Friday, September 6th, 2019

Totally your call. If you see this going somewhere, and it seems he feels the same, I would disclose. My personal opinion. I would have the same concerns as you.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8432788
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Hutch ( member #70846) posted at 6:19 AM on Friday, September 6th, 2019

Definitely your call. I’m leaning more towards telling him because of the way he lost his wife.

I figure this; he could be a wonderful support and be happy to continue seeing where this goes. He may decide friendship is the best for you both at this time. MS does not define you in that it’s your only identity. You’re beautifully and wonderfully made. You’re a fighter! And you’re also just a woman like the rest of us who is navigating life after divorce and exploring new things.

Only you can decide but if it’s a person you’re wanting to move forward with or even considering, might be good to tell early.

Good Luck!

Divorced.

posts: 246   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2019   ·   location: FL
id 8432846
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 lizgwvet (original poster member #15967) posted at 6:53 AM on Friday, September 6th, 2019

Yes, thinking early is the best route.

When someone reveals their true self the first time believe it!

Maya Angelou

posts: 453   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Washington state
id 8432852
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 12:57 PM on Friday, September 6th, 2019

I have a friend with MS. She was also diagnosed decades ago and it is VERY managed with her medications. She has no ongoing symptoms. So like you said, you are doing well and maybe always will be.

However, I would need to know early on in the dating if this is a dealbreaker for him. Two reasons - you don't want to get to involved (and heartbroken) down the road if he couldn't cope and secondly, it helps build that openness and trust early on.

I would bet he will be understanding and keep on dating you.

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8432916
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