SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Trust me when I say that no one on here expects you to know any answers, you are right when you have a whole community here that does know how painful this all is, the betrayal and the tearing apart a family is horrible. And many a BS has sat on the fence for a long long long long long time so as to not tear apart the family, so you are not alone.

I can feel the true sadness in your posts, it is gut wrenching and as a BS my best advice is to just keeping working on you, take care of yourself, get out and exercise, find a way to work off the extreme anxiety this all brings on.... then work on detachment. The 180 and NC that you can find in the healing library. It really is there for a BS to learn to work on not being so co dependent upon the needs and wants of a very foggy and selfish WS. Its hard to do at first but keep working on it. If she is still calling you or emailing you or texting you stuff it is all just continuing to keep you in the loop of her dysfunction, which then leads to you not working on healing yourself.

I am sorry you had a 2nd DDay, I am sorry for all of us here. But you can get beyond it, I know it does not seem that way right at this minute, but you will. It starts with you taking control of how you want your life to be and the beginning of doing things that YOU want, not rushing around putting out all of her drama. Its exhausting to live with someone who keeps imploding your world.

LS33,

Your wounds are still new. That won't change for awhile, and the D process will create new ones.

I'm fully D now, and I can tell you that there is life after D. Your children can also go on and live an authentic life without lies, at least from you.

You're going to be on this rollercoaster for awhile. Its best that you prepare yourself for that ride. The advice others are giving you are spot on, take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter. Go to the gym, and find things to do that make you happy on those 2 days that you don't have your daughter.

Most importantly, if you're doing IHS, is to not engage with your wife. Once she knows you're going to D, you may start seeing her AP or other men around. If you don't start doing the 180, it will be painful. There is a saying, "you'll really know who you married once you divorce them". This is so true. You'll start seeing her true self, and its best you start proactively protecting yourself, your daughter and your assets. Let her do her thing, and you focus on you and your child. I've got to tell you that its rare for a mother to only get 2 days of the week, and the father gets the rest. It says a lot about your wife. Start documenting that time you have with your DD, she might come back and change her mind b/c of child support payments.

Sorry that you got hit a second time Lost. I wish you'd listened the first time you got hit but sometimes we need the hammer to slam us again before we really believe it's true. Please keep your resolve to remove yourself from this situation. Don't allow your WW to sway you in any way. Do what's best for you so you don't end up with more regrets than you already have. Get yourself free and do it as quickly as possible. Try not to bewail what your heart is trying to convince you that you're losing. The truth is that your heart is wrong; your not losing. You're gaining your freedom from the drama and pain that your WW will continue to inflict upon you throughout the years to come. It's about you now. You are the prize. Take care of yourself and live your life happy and free.