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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 12:28 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2019
She unfortunately is banging this POS.
She should be made accountable for her actions.
Ask her to sit with you and calmly talk. If the actions were reversed would she be pissed off.
Get rid or sever contact with those who knew of her actions yet didn’t help your relationship. They are toxic towards your family.
Ask your spouse how will we explain her actions to her DD?
Does she want to set up happy family with the POS and how again will she explain this to DD.
Seek IC for her and you.
You don’t believe anything she says. Bluff her and ask for full disclosure prior to a polygraph. If she has nothing to hide and has been truthful she will take the test.
You need this so to know if you are looking the move onto a woman who respects boundaries and will love you for you.
Good luck
20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 12:55 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2019
Distance yourself from this lowlife.
Detach, ignore, never speak to it.
It’s for your own safety
BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas
Wxman3441 (original poster new member #71823) posted at 2:10 PM on Saturday, October 19th, 2019
Is there any point in trying to dig for more information? I won’t be able to see her phone again. I suppose I could set up a recorder. I just want to hear the full truth but I guess I will never get it at this point.
Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 2:18 PM on Saturday, October 19th, 2019
If what you already know about is enough for D then, no, you do not need to find out more. That is just pain-shopping. If you think there might be a chance to R, then you must know everything or staying together is just rug-sweeping, not reconciliation. But in that case she must TELL you everything; you cannot R while you are in P.I. mode.
So if she refuses and is guarding her phone, R really is not an option. I know the desire to still know everything is still there, even if D is the only course, but if you think it through you will realize there is no point and just a lot more pain there.
[This message edited by Odonna at 8:19 AM, October 19th (Saturday)]
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 11:23 PM on Saturday, October 19th, 2019
I won’t be able to see her phone again
The thing is if she's dishonest you'll not be able to R. You can stay together but it'll be on her terms.
Which means there's a high chance you'll get a repeat but it sounds like this one hasn't even ended.
Is that how you want to live your life?
Wxman3441 (original poster new member #71823) posted at 1:42 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
Why am I not leaving though? Do I just not have the balls? I know something happens but it seems I want to uncover more evidence to justify my leaving. Maybe it cause we have a house and a split will get tangly.
InvoluntarilyCuc ( new member #71787) posted at 6:04 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
You cannot R this. Her friends have no respect for you. She sounds like she will never choose her friends over you. Just leave.
farsidejunky ( member #49392) posted at 6:21 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
Because insisting on needing more evidence or a confession subconsciously helps you to avoid what you don't want to do:
End the relationship.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
-Maya Angelou
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 6:23 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
If you're looking for an excuse to stay you'll find one but you may just get more of what you've already gotten.
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 8:24 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
Get tested ASAP for STDs and STIs some can be transmitted just by a kiss or just rubbing.
She is totally disrespectful
ramius ( member #44750) posted at 8:44 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019
Because insisting on needing more evidence or a confession subconsciously helps you to avoid what you don't want to do:
End the relationship.
This^^^^
How many scars have you rationalized because you loved the person who was holding the knife?
Their actions reveal their intentions. Their words conceal them.
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