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Basically your wife just has weak character and probably always has. Based on her mother's response the apple probably doesn't fall far from the tree.

I would strongly agree. My observation on 5 relationships where I was the betrayed party is that the parents of each gf/wife except one had had affairs. In two families it was "It happens, get over it" and I was some kind of Boy Scout for not dealing with the real world. (I was BTW a very proud scout so didn't find it an insult).

My thought is always if you can excuse yourself from the dishonesty, duplicity and selfishness that an affair demands (even a ONS) then what else will you do?

Why the hell shouldn’t you tell your family? Surely your STBXW doesn’t think they wouldn’t notice her missing suddenly? Seriously, since we're discussing hypocrisy. What did your wife think you would tell your family? What’s her version of the right thing to say and why?

What her MIL said is that there are two sides to every story and that I should go to my family and confess every mistake I made in the marriage and stop demonizing my wife. I replied that I am 50% at fault for problems in the marriage, but her daughter is 100% at fault for the affair that ended our marriage.

Neither of them want the marriage to continue. I offered the STBXW one opportunity to come clean so we could seek IC and see if anything is salvagable and she said no effing way.

They just want me to hurt.

Hat to say it, But at this point you are hurting yourself. Some one once said, When someone shows you who they are believe them. You wife and her mother are horrid people. Just cut them out of your life as much as you can and move on! If you don't I am sorry, But you are bringing this on yourself. Sorry to be so blunt.....

Sounds like you need to 180 the MIL. Clearly she is backing your WW all the way. By her logic, your leaving socks laying on the floor is justification for her daughter to go nail other people. Don't try to argue with her. Just cut her out. It's best for YOU. And that is what you need to focus on. Healing yourself.

Hang in there maybeHopeless. Time will give you perspective on how screwed up your WW has become. By the way, it is very common for a cheater to rewrite marital history to justify their actions. It’s all lies. Keep exposing her deceit and lies far and wide, to friends and family. Remember, that this is the same woman who called you after her AP dumped her and she was desperate to R. If you were such a terrible H, how come she was so eager to R. Please block her and her family on everything. No contact will help you immensely. Always value yourself. Move ahead with your life. Try not to give this vile woman anymore head space. But do coontinue to expose her infidelity. Good luck.

[This message edited by fareast at 8:32 AM, November 15th (Friday)]

Sounds like you need to 180 the MIL. Clearly she is backing your WW all the way. By her logic, your leaving socks laying on the floor is justification for her daughter to go nail other people. Don't try to argue with her. Just cut her out. It's best for YOU. And that is what you need to focus on. Healing yourself.

I was no angel in the marriage. I said and did stupid things, but I never cheated. I take 50% responsibility for problems in the marriage.

I have blocked the MIL and turned the 180.

Brother,

Your WW made the conscious decision to bring another man into the bedroom. She did assist him entering her. Again conscious effort.

.What her MIL said is that there are two sides to every story and that I should go to my family and confess every mistake I made in the marriage and stop demonizing my wife. I replied that I am 50% at fault for problems in the marriage, but her daughter is 100% at fault for the affair that ended our marriage.

Tell MIL to go plat her poop! She will naturally support her daughter, but keep out of this D.

MIL’s opinions are like a asshole, every one has one but you don’t want to hear from it!

Keep up the 180 , good luck and take care of yourself.

It isn’t your fault, she is the cheater.

So this afternoon I got a text from my WW's mother chastising me and telling me basically the exact same things my WW has been saying. All of this is my fault for issues during the marriage and she was justified in the affair. I had exposed my wife to my family and she was basically angry I had exposed her daughter.

What else is mom going to say? ....“Sorry I raised a cheating whore”

Nope. Your WW got her morals and ethics from someone. Looks like mom just doesn’t want to take credit.

She must protect her precious ego, just like her daughter must protect hers

Do not internalize her horrid choices and behavior.

If you were such a bad husband why does your WW want to stay with you? She should thank you for starting the ball rolling, something she should have done before her affair.

Maybe she doesn't really want to stay with you. She just wants the record to show you divorced because you suck instead of her having an affair.

[This message edited by Michigan at 9:57 AM, November 16th (Saturday)]

Somebody has to be at fault for this dilemma and she has decided that it has to be you. Well you expect her to accept responsibility did you? (Tongue in Cheek). You being to blame allows her to justify her actions of having an affair. This goes to her sense of entitlement that she has for herself. I think if you reflect back on the relationship, this is probably not the first time you have seen this behavior. This is just the most outrageous example of selfishness.