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Sexting/role play at work

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Bleu ( member #14243) posted at 1:37 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

You have 3 kids.

I am flummoxed. I have 2 and know how much work it takes.

While you are raising 3 kids, your WH is thinking . . . I won't retype it. Just disgusting.

I'm so, so, so sorry. It took me awhile to understand that what I wanted did not matter and I had to deal with what I had.

What I had was a jackass.

I hope you are in IC. That outlet and a support group will help you get through this, raise your kids and allow you to be a good role model to your precious babes.

I spit on my STBXWH and yours. (I have never spit, even virtually.) I'm in the middle of drafting my divorce agreement so you can outsource some of your vitriol to me. Lol.

Wishing you the best outcome and peace with your decision.

[This message edited by Bleu at 7:39 AM, December 5th (Thursday)]

BS (Me) - 42
WS (It) - 42

Coupled in 1998
DD#1 - 2002
DD#2 - 2003
Married in 2010
DD#3 - 2012
And many more . . .

Divorcing

Two gorgeous, funny and fun little kids

posts: 293   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2007
id 8477581
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:39 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

what does it matter anyway?

In only matters in that it might help Layla to stick to her guns. Searching for any reason why maybe, possibly, somehow the A wasn't physical could lead to backpedaling.

Layla, that whole poly scenario is so fishy. He set it up. You didn't go or even talk to the polygrapher? You just got a report. He could have written the report. I would be very suspicious of whether or not he actually took a poly, even if he has a paper trail.

I get answers to questions I didn't ask. We usually end up going around in a few circles before my fch will finally answer my actual question. That's not A related. He does it with everything. He says a lot of times that he didn't understand my question. There's a whole lot of baggage hanging on there.

Just last night, he asked me why about something. I started to explain and then realized I had already told him all of it. So, I asked why he asked me why if he already knew the story. Instead of answering my question, he proceeded to tell me the solution that I already knew. I was like, WTF is happening? None of the conversation made sense to me.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6900   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8477582
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 1:53 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

I agree with coco. That whole scenario is suspect. It would be super easy to write a fake letter with the results.

Your gut has been screaming for a reason. Trust yourself.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6822   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8477597
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 2:06 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Wow. That is very sketchy but suddenly his whole demeanor around the polygraph makes a lot more sense. He also could have gone to someone he knew was not experienced and had a bad track record in order to try and fool them. There's a lot of possibilities when you yourself were not involved in the process.

I don't know if you should give this man even 1 more minute of your time and consideration after this mess but if for some reason you do, stay absolutely firm on him taking a polygraph that you set up and bring him to yourself with someone you think is qualified.

posts: 5232   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8477608
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 layla1234 (original poster member #68851) posted at 2:55 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

I know the poly was legit. I looked it up and read reviews. I do believe he was able to pass it because he believes his own lies. He swore on my children's lives that I knew everything multiple times. He looked me in the eye point blank and has lied. I believed him. I will never make that mistake again.

Married: 5-15-11
3 kids: ages 6, 3, and baby born in Sept.
D-day of EA with married COW:7-18-18

So much missing info from my story. I'm too exhausted to add it all. Divorce process started.

posts: 856   ·   registered: Nov. 15th, 2018
id 8477647
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crazyinlove1995 ( member #53591) posted at 3:19 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Ah fucking work affairs.They are really hard to prove/disprove.My ww A was basically all done on work time.Minus a couple of snuck kisses between them while at a party.Sexting was done through work phones.Theyed go to lunch to "make out".Actually drive across military base to " make out".They drove half way across the state to get a hotel.Let air out of tires so one would need a ride..Schedule vehicle repairs.Stay late.But they only had intecoarse once...Then oh there was a bj in my truck.Nothing more according to her..Yeah right.You spend over 120 Hours a month all worked up and there's no more..Sorry Layla I hope you get some peace

Me=BH
Two Son's 24and12
Daughter In peace

posts: 286   ·   registered: Jun. 9th, 2016
id 8477662
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 layla1234 (original poster member #68851) posted at 3:38 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2019

I've been reading this forum a long time. He's had a crush on this woman since 2012 but he won't admit it. I know he's not a special snowflake. He's just like every other man. Men don't risk everything if there's not the payout of sex. I'll be proceeding with divorce unless he can be honest.

Married: 5-15-11
3 kids: ages 6, 3, and baby born in Sept.
D-day of EA with married COW:7-18-18

So much missing info from my story. I'm too exhausted to add it all. Divorce process started.

posts: 856   ·   registered: Nov. 15th, 2018
id 8477672
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PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 8:18 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

I'm sorry, Layla.

Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.

Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 5 years) & DBF (dating 4 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3

posts: 917   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2016
id 8478515
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