Update: I did not see or speak to H from Saturday Feb. 29th night until Friday March 6. Spent the night with friends until Tuesday, then stayed at my house in upstairs guest room Wednesday and Thursday nights. Only contact was via text.
Lots of discussion Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, most of it pretty civil and productive.
I slept in our bed Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, after making it very clear that I was doing it because I wanted to sleep in MY OWN BED, and I didn't care what he did. I also have made it very clear that just because we're talking doesn't mean this is anywhere close to over.
He has an appointment Wednesday with an IC (not mine), who was not 1st on his preferred list, but could get in soonest with her. He made an appointment with his first choice in April, and is on the cancellation list, so he might get in sooner.
He's still having a really hard time accepting that I am HURT and IN PAIN. He says it's a "character flaw" he has.
He pretty much demanded getting a polygraph at a time of my choosing to prove he hasn't ever cheated. But only questions about that, not "veering into other stuff." I'm assuming that means the porn, Viagra, and drinking.
BTW, I stopped by to talk to Amy, and she seems to be telling the truth that she didn't think anything out of the ordinary about the Valentines flowers and candy, and that the message said it was from both of us. Even if she's lying, at least she knows she's on my radar.
H feels like I'm pushing too hard. I reminded him that he has known for YEARS what he is doing, and I just started putting pieces together five months ago. Yes, he's only known that I know something for 12 days, but, again, he knows exactly what he's been doing, and I still don't.
Because this seems to be unfolding as a potential porn addiction (and perhaps problem drinking), I will move over to the Spouses of Sex Addicts thread in I Can Relate. I'll occasionally post back here if something else turns up.
Thanks so much for the support. I've still got the lawyer on retainer, and will keep him on retainer probably at least 6 months to a year, depending on what happens in counseling, etc.
