SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

hey crazyblindsided, clearly you're not alone in not looking forward to the holidays! There is some wonderful advice here. My D was final 2 years ago, and holidays are still a struggle for me. I've decided to turn away from the TV, ads, crazy consumerism, and connect with friends, family, and yoga practice. Just take it one day at a time and this too will pass (in less than a week!). Try to find things you enjoy and can savor - wonderful music, connecting with friends, reading books. You might enjoy the writings of Pema Chodron - her books When Things Fall Apart and The Places that Scare you are so wonderfully wise and deeply human. Another idea - connect with the true meaning of the holidays, not the manufactured TV meaning. Connecting to your own spirituality may help guide you through this time.

Sending you strength and hugs.

Yes I find it really hard right now.::down to seeing the family matching pajamas in the store and hauling my own Christmas tree to the teacher sending home 2 gifts from my child since her parents ‘don’t live together’. I feel like it is thrown in my face right now that our family is broken. I’m sure the kids notice too. I’ve really been struggling. Money is right too which doesn’t help. You aren’t alone

There was a sweet guy bagging items at the grocery store. He has some disability mentally and people were ignoring him. So I asked what his favorite holiday food was and we started talking. He told me his sister was coming from another state. He was so happy then. Everyone was listening and smiling, saying hi when it was their turn and not looking away. It only takes one person to reach out.

I know what you are saying about the holidays. I agree with turn off the tv. I bought toys for a toy drive and donated food. It doesn't matter to me if I get a holiday cheer buzz or not. I like lights. I like music. I like shopping. I like all those things but these last few years I am doing for others. The world really needs us now. People have lost their way and feel alone or that no one cares. There are people who have been abused who need kindness like a lifesaving cure.

You're a strong lady and survived. You deserve some joy in life and I think it will come. If you can accept some peace for now, then I think the joy will follow.

I burned half a batch of gingerbread today. Can't get the knack of when it's done baking.

Oh well.....I'll try something else tomorrow. I bought all these candies to make a gingerbread house and have only half the walls....

Maybe it's a gingerbread shed.

Crazy,

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I completely relate to the punishing part....its all mine has done.

Mine is also in "his room"... sex with me, was never a priority... I am so indifferent or maybe even frightened at sex, in general, at this point. There is too much shame and humiliation that comes with that. I dont really ever seeing myself being okay with it.