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Divorce/Separation :
Facetime court hearing/finalization

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 Louisianalisa (original poster member #72443) posted at 9:21 AM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

Our court hearing for the finalization of our divorce is being scheduled as we speak, for sometime this month. We have a divorce lawyer writing up our uncontested divorce agreement and he said that we might be able to get a hearing with a judge via Facetime or Zoom, and not even have to be physically present in the courtroom with the judge.

Has anyone heard of this before? Don't my WH and I have to both be present to sign the final decree? While I like the idea of not having to see my WH and be in the room with him for the most agonzing day of my life, I wonder about the pros and cons of in-person and on-line finalizations.

Any experience or input on this would be appreciated!

BS: Me (still in shock)
WH: Unremorseful covert narcissist
3+ year long EA/PA.
DDays: Several (summer 2019)
Married 14 years. Divorced (summer 2020)
Food for thought: "Let go or be dragged"

posts: 111   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2020
id 8539546
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 3:55 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

I haven't heard of that but I'm sure states and counties these days are trying something similar, during lockdown. Maybe there will be an electronic signature? I really don't know. I never stepped foot in a courtroom for my D. Once our MSA was signed and notarized by both parties, we didn't have to sign the final decree when all said and done. I'm in CA though and states and counties vary. Can you send an email asking to a courthouse rep how the process will be?

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8539650
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SadLibrarian ( new member #71928) posted at 5:12 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

I am going through the same thing in IL right now. My lawyer told me they can do an online Notary to recognize the legal signatures, and then the judge can do the final decree on line if it's uncontested.

D-day October 5th 2019

posts: 19   ·   registered: Oct. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Midwest
id 8539688
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 7:33 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

Louisianalisa, hugs and prayers to you! I, too, am from Louisiana. I'm in north Louisiana myself. Natchitoches to be exact.

I will be thinking good thoughts that you get through this and have an AMAZING life on the other side!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8539745
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

I had an uncontested divorce (dissolution). We signed our agreement before submitting to the court, had a 15 minute hearing, and it was done. There was nothing further for us to sign and once the judge signed it a copy was sent to each of us in the mail. Xhole attended the hearing via telephone because he was living in another state at the time.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8539785
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 Louisianalisa (original poster member #72443) posted at 9:49 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

Thanks everyone...

Phoenix1, our situation is identical to yours. Uncontested. We had a lawyer write up the divorce agreement and we will both be going to his office to sign it next week. It will be submitted to the court signed already.

I dread being in the room with WH for this short 15 minute hearing. My wonderful counselor offered to come with me as a support, and I am going to bring her. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. The ending is so painful, now that it's coming up so very soon.

15 years ago today he proposed to me and gave me a beautiful diamond ring. We always celebrated May 6th by saying, "Happy engagment day!" Who could have ever imagined that 15 years later we'd be where we are now.

Narcissists should be legally required to have a big N tatooed on their forheards. Would have saved me 15 years of wasted time.

[This message edited by Louisianalisa at 3:50 PM, May 6th (Wednesday)]

BS: Me (still in shock)
WH: Unremorseful covert narcissist
3+ year long EA/PA.
DDays: Several (summer 2019)
Married 14 years. Divorced (summer 2020)
Food for thought: "Let go or be dragged"

posts: 111   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2020
id 8539823
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 3:19 PM on Thursday, May 7th, 2020

You'll make it through! Glad you have the support of your IC!

Narcissists should be legally required to have a big N tatooed on their forheards

And This^^^^ Absolutely!!

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8540047
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