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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 11:34 AM on Monday, May 18th, 2020
We use this at work.we always remind people it is a problem solving tool. It isn’t to blame each other, it is to dig to the root cause.
If You draw it on paper, you will find that you have branches of whys. You can 5 why each branch.
I find when I use it on myself, I get past my excuses.
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 12:22 PM on Monday, May 18th, 2020
was desperately trying to prove to him that my feelings and reactions to his infidelity and his latest faux paux are not extreme or unreasonable. I am the only BS he has come into contact with. But, I’m disappointed that I even had to do that. That I had to prove to him that others are feeling the same things I am. Why aren’t my feelings valid enough?
Your feelings are valid, whether he acknowledges that or not. Rather than desperately trying to get him to see that, how about trying to just know they are valid? If he dismisses them, you can still say they’re valid. You don't need his validation or acceptance or confirmation of anything.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, May 18th, 2020
Total A-hole move
It was a complete disrespect to you and your son and very hurtful in my opinion. I agree that either he was being thoughtless, careless, mean or just something was not right with that at all. I do not believe a person can be that clueless and if they are that is even another problem
The situations you described before were hard but not intentional.They were horrible by products of the original bad decision. This on the other hand was intentional by him.
I agree about the 180 and counseling. It is not ok.
We separated after being in R because my H lied and it involved talking to the old AP's best friend. It was a breach to my heart and he did not think of me at all. Of course AP came up in the conversation. I was livid. I mean crazy mad. He tried to act like he did not know that I would be so upset. Ya, right. More like he did not care and I didn't matter again. The moment he picked up the phone and called her friend was the moment he violated our M again. I did not care that he was not cheating again.
I do not think they are that dense. I think they are that selfish.
[This message edited by Jesusismyanchor at 9:05 AM, May 18th (Monday)]
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
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